CORed
Penultimate Amazing
They are also diurnal and crepuscular. They swim Puget Sound, run down caribou in Alaska, and bison in Yellowstone. They bounce on backyard trampolines, teach the little ones to slap houses, yet are so elusive as to confound confirmation. They **** in three foot segments, or not at all. They mimic all sorts of animal vocalizations (especially when you point out the alleged footie cry is a coyote) and may even possess proto-language.
If you think it, footie can be it. Because it's all made up.
I first heard of Bigfoot in my childhood, shortly after the Patterson Film was released. Back then, Bigfoot was a rare, elusive creature found in pretty wild country in the Pacific Northwest -- Northern California to British Columbia. It was, even then, of course, a creature for which the only evidence was hoaxed footprints and one blurry, shaky movie of questionable provenance. However, it was perhaps only a little short of plausible that such a creature might have gone undiscovered such an area.
Now, if we are to believe the footers, bigfoot is in every little patch of second or third growth woods in North America, banging on trees and throwing candy at people, yet, somehow, leaving no evidence of their existence but crappy videos, footprints and tall tales.
Frankly, I find the idea that a large mammal can live anywhere east of the Rocky Mountains in the US to be so ridiculous that I don't know whether to laugh at it or pity anyone foolish enough to believe it.
I have no idea as to the ratio of true believers to BLARRGers among the bigfoot advocates, but the former think everybody else is stupid, and the latter are stupid.
Mind you the notion of undiscovered land animals anywhere in the world is not much more plausible then Bigfeet in Kentucky, Oklahoma or Ohio, but it might be just barely possible that they are lurking in some remote corner of the world (Alasa, Siberia, ?). However, if there are any undiscovered large animals in the world, the most likely place to find them would be in the ocean.
The morphing of bigfoot from rare, elusive creature of the Northwest to tree-knockin' candy-tossin' hootin', hollerin' critter that is everywhere but nowhere is to me proof beyond any possibility of doubt that it is a creature that exists only in the imagination of some humans.
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