Bruce
Philosopher
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2001
- Messages
- 7,519
I swear this must be the secret code for getting air time on the Sean Hannity radio show.
I don't know if anyone here listens to his radio show or not. I listen to it on my way home from work because there's nothing else worth listening to. I live on the coast of a liberal island in the middle of redneck Missouri. There is very little in the way of bipartisanship here, even on the radio. I have my choice of country, acid rock, hip-hop, or pop. Believe me, Republican radio isn't all that bad by comparison.
I can stomach Sean Hannity. I switch him off when he starts getting preachy, but he doesn't piss me off as much as the other right wing pundits. However, I get really irritated with his callers. They worship him like a god, and the more you kiss his ass, the more air time you get. If you don't tell him what he want's to here, he'll finish your opening sentence, then finish the arguement for you by himself, then hang up on you an go to commerical. Allow me to post for you every Hannity phonecall that's ever been placed on Sean Hannity's show from 4:30pm to 5:00pm:
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller1: You're a great American, Sean.
SH: No, you're a great American.
Caller1: No, you really ARE a great American, Sean.
SH: No, I insist, you are a great American. Without you, I wouldn't have a job. What's on your mind?
Caller1: I just wanted to let you know that I think abortion is murder.
SH: You're absolutely right. Liberals want to kill your children with YOUR tax dollars. Thank you for voting for George Bush.
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller2: Sean, you're a great American.
SH: No, you're a great American, my friend.
Caller2: I have a picture of you on the shrine in my bedroom next to Jesus, George Bush, and Ted Nugent.
SH: They're all great Americans.
Caller2: I want to stick my nose in your rectum and feel your sweet ass cheeks on my face.
SH: The pleasure's all mine. What's on your mind?
Caller2: I just wanted you to know that I voted for George W. Bush because he loves Jesus, and anyone who loves Jesus can do no wrong.
SH: Yes, he's a great American. And thanks to great Americans like you who saw through the liberal media propaganda, he's going to lead this country into greatness. God bless you, and thanks for calling.
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller3: Sean, you're a great American.
SH: No, you're a great American. What's on your mind?
Caller3: I just want you to know that I'm not gay, and I think gay marriage is wrong, and they're trying to take over this country.
SH: No morality whatsoever. I don't care what they do in the bedroom, but I'll be damned if they get tax breaks and try to raise families like us normal people.
Caller3: That's right, Sean......... But you know.... if I were gay, I'd take everything you'd have to give me, balls and all.
SH: I don't know who the hell you are, and I would probably run if I saw you, but this is a radio show and I have bodygaurds, so I'll just say you're a great American. Thanks for voting for George Bush.
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller4: Hi, Sean. I consider myself a liberal and....
SH: And you want to tell me how my show is nothing but a bunch of liberal bashing, right wing propaganda, don't you? You liberals are all the same. Look, I believe that abortion is murder. That's just my opinion. We can agree to disagree, can't we? I don't mind gay people. I have several friends that are gay, but should it be legal for a male squirell to marry my grandma? Liberals want to take God out of everything, but our founding fathers were Christians, so that means that Christians should run this country. You're lucky that Christians believe that God gave us free will, or you wouldn't have any freedom. Christians wrote the constitution. Didn't you know that, you ungreatful liberal wacko? What do you have to say about that?
Caller4: What the..
SH: Never mind. Just buy my book. I guarntee you'll be Hannitized and you will join the ranks of my ass-kissing minions. You need to understand that Democrats use propaganda and lies to try to get your votes. They put a spin on everything and stop at nothing to make the right look bad. They're hate mongerers and they have no values. I need to cut to a commericial.
SH: Hi, this is Sean Hannity. My balls used to itch like a mother, then I tried Scrotolux. Scrotolux made me feel like Jesus himself was massaging my family jewels. When the liberal media gives you a bad case of jock itch, try Scrotolux.
SH: It's time for trash the lines. You got five seconds. Go!
Marty: (old man's voice) Sean?
SH: Marty!!
Marty: (phonograph sound in the background) I think I crapped my pants again. I can't find my pills.
SH: We love you, Marty. You're a great American!
Marty: I just wanted to say that Ronny is doing a great job. The liberals stole my candy again. I can't find the bathroom. What's my name again? I think I have a grandson named Sean.
SH: Take care, Marty. We love ya. Next, who's this?
CallerX: Sean, I believe marajuana should be legal becau.....
SH: Next.
CallerY: Hillary had the right id....
SH: Next.
CallerZ: I'm a student and I have this liberal professor that made us write a report and he gave me a bad grade because I didn't write it to support his liberal agenda and he gave me an F and I don't think that's right. I'm a Republican because my dad's a Republican and he doesn't like me because I'm a Republican and I don't think that's fair. Should I fight back?
SH: Absolutely! What you need to do is record is left-wing, wacko, liberal ranting and print it in the local newspaper. You might get thrown out of school and ruin you're whole career, but as long as you vote Republican, I could give a rat's ass. Next caller please, you have five seconds.
CallerZ: Why the hell did the last caller get 170 second and I only got.....
SH: We're out of time. I'll see you tomorrow on Sean Hannity. Goodnight.
I don't know if anyone here listens to his radio show or not. I listen to it on my way home from work because there's nothing else worth listening to. I live on the coast of a liberal island in the middle of redneck Missouri. There is very little in the way of bipartisanship here, even on the radio. I have my choice of country, acid rock, hip-hop, or pop. Believe me, Republican radio isn't all that bad by comparison.
I can stomach Sean Hannity. I switch him off when he starts getting preachy, but he doesn't piss me off as much as the other right wing pundits. However, I get really irritated with his callers. They worship him like a god, and the more you kiss his ass, the more air time you get. If you don't tell him what he want's to here, he'll finish your opening sentence, then finish the arguement for you by himself, then hang up on you an go to commerical. Allow me to post for you every Hannity phonecall that's ever been placed on Sean Hannity's show from 4:30pm to 5:00pm:
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller1: You're a great American, Sean.
SH: No, you're a great American.
Caller1: No, you really ARE a great American, Sean.
SH: No, I insist, you are a great American. Without you, I wouldn't have a job. What's on your mind?
Caller1: I just wanted to let you know that I think abortion is murder.
SH: You're absolutely right. Liberals want to kill your children with YOUR tax dollars. Thank you for voting for George Bush.
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller2: Sean, you're a great American.
SH: No, you're a great American, my friend.
Caller2: I have a picture of you on the shrine in my bedroom next to Jesus, George Bush, and Ted Nugent.
SH: They're all great Americans.
Caller2: I want to stick my nose in your rectum and feel your sweet ass cheeks on my face.
SH: The pleasure's all mine. What's on your mind?
Caller2: I just wanted you to know that I voted for George W. Bush because he loves Jesus, and anyone who loves Jesus can do no wrong.
SH: Yes, he's a great American. And thanks to great Americans like you who saw through the liberal media propaganda, he's going to lead this country into greatness. God bless you, and thanks for calling.
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller3: Sean, you're a great American.
SH: No, you're a great American. What's on your mind?
Caller3: I just want you to know that I'm not gay, and I think gay marriage is wrong, and they're trying to take over this country.
SH: No morality whatsoever. I don't care what they do in the bedroom, but I'll be damned if they get tax breaks and try to raise families like us normal people.
Caller3: That's right, Sean......... But you know.... if I were gay, I'd take everything you'd have to give me, balls and all.
SH: I don't know who the hell you are, and I would probably run if I saw you, but this is a radio show and I have bodygaurds, so I'll just say you're a great American. Thanks for voting for George Bush.
SH: Hello, this is Sean Hannity.
Caller4: Hi, Sean. I consider myself a liberal and....
SH: And you want to tell me how my show is nothing but a bunch of liberal bashing, right wing propaganda, don't you? You liberals are all the same. Look, I believe that abortion is murder. That's just my opinion. We can agree to disagree, can't we? I don't mind gay people. I have several friends that are gay, but should it be legal for a male squirell to marry my grandma? Liberals want to take God out of everything, but our founding fathers were Christians, so that means that Christians should run this country. You're lucky that Christians believe that God gave us free will, or you wouldn't have any freedom. Christians wrote the constitution. Didn't you know that, you ungreatful liberal wacko? What do you have to say about that?
Caller4: What the..
SH: Never mind. Just buy my book. I guarntee you'll be Hannitized and you will join the ranks of my ass-kissing minions. You need to understand that Democrats use propaganda and lies to try to get your votes. They put a spin on everything and stop at nothing to make the right look bad. They're hate mongerers and they have no values. I need to cut to a commericial.
SH: Hi, this is Sean Hannity. My balls used to itch like a mother, then I tried Scrotolux. Scrotolux made me feel like Jesus himself was massaging my family jewels. When the liberal media gives you a bad case of jock itch, try Scrotolux.
SH: It's time for trash the lines. You got five seconds. Go!
Marty: (old man's voice) Sean?
SH: Marty!!
Marty: (phonograph sound in the background) I think I crapped my pants again. I can't find my pills.
SH: We love you, Marty. You're a great American!
Marty: I just wanted to say that Ronny is doing a great job. The liberals stole my candy again. I can't find the bathroom. What's my name again? I think I have a grandson named Sean.
SH: Take care, Marty. We love ya. Next, who's this?
CallerX: Sean, I believe marajuana should be legal becau.....
SH: Next.
CallerY: Hillary had the right id....
SH: Next.
CallerZ: I'm a student and I have this liberal professor that made us write a report and he gave me a bad grade because I didn't write it to support his liberal agenda and he gave me an F and I don't think that's right. I'm a Republican because my dad's a Republican and he doesn't like me because I'm a Republican and I don't think that's fair. Should I fight back?
SH: Absolutely! What you need to do is record is left-wing, wacko, liberal ranting and print it in the local newspaper. You might get thrown out of school and ruin you're whole career, but as long as you vote Republican, I could give a rat's ass. Next caller please, you have five seconds.
CallerZ: Why the hell did the last caller get 170 second and I only got.....
SH: We're out of time. I'll see you tomorrow on Sean Hannity. Goodnight.
