When Jehovah's Witnesses Attack

[Richard G]

It's always good to have the proper attire when meeting someone for the first time, so as to make a lasting impression.....

(thats not me)

 

[Richard G]

This keeps them from knocking,

 

[DanishDynamite]

I'm glad to see that, despite your many faults, you at least have a sense of humor.

 

[Yahweh]

 

[bratok]

Who are this JWs and what do they want, btw? Didn't hear much of them here in Russia .

 

[Marc]

Who are this JWs and what do they want, btw? Didn't hear much of them here in Russia .

Jehova's Witnesses, also known as The Watchtower Society.

Weird christian sect that believes the end of the world is at hand. (have passed a half dozen predicted dates for it over the last century) They are young earth creationists, avoid any outside information, require frequent meetings in their Kingdom Halls, and have will refuse to recieve blood transfusions. Believe only 144,000 people will actually get into heaven. Also known for going door to door trying to recruit people.

 

[c4ts]

This keeps them from knocking,

That's going to keep everybody from knocking, unless they're extremely gay or something.

 

[triadboy]

Who are this JWs and what do they want, btw? Didn't hear much of them here in Russia

The JWs that come to my house are a couple in their 70s. I answer the door and there are these old people - all dressed up - with smiles so wide, they actually go behind their heads!

I haven't had the heart to tell them I'm an atheist. I take their magazine - thumb through it - laugh - toss it in the trash.

 

[T'ai Chi]

It's always good to have the proper attire when meeting someone for the first time, so as to make a lasting impression.....

(thats not me)

It looks like the JW's aren't the ones doing the attacking there...

 

[neutrino_cannon]

It's always good to have the proper attire when meeting someone for the first time, so as to make a lasting impression.....

(thats not me)

Hm... Very Stylish, with plenty of .45 ammo, I'd like to have that set up.

Or maybe just the m-1, hopefully with selective fire.

That's going to keep everybody from knocking, unless they're extremely gay or something.

I dunno. From the picture, she looks vaugely aroused. What about pagans who take it as a prosperity charm of some sort? Keep an open mind.

I haven't had the heart to tell them I'm an atheist. I take their magazine - thumb through it - laugh - toss it in the trash.

How wasteful triadboy. You should have burned them to heat your house.

 

[espritch]

I just can't help thinking the Girl Scout on the other side of the door in that first picture isn't going to sell any cookies...ever again.

 

[Scoobmaster]

Hey - I have a funny JW story.

Back in 1986 when I was in high school, I was home alone on a Saturday afternoon when two JWs knocked on my door. I opened the door and before I could even speak they launched into their speech. I tried to think quickly as to what to do next, and came upon a devious idea. I put on the most puzzled face I could make and then started using some simple phrases I had learned in my German classes in school.

"Ich verstehen Sie nicht. Ich spreche keine English. Sprechen Sie Deutsch, bitte?"

I just stopped there and gave them a puzzled look. The stopped, looked at each other then finally one whispered to the other, "I don't think he speaks English" I was trying SOOOO hard to keep a straight face as the one said (in the LOUD and SLOW way that for some reason people think will magically make a foreigner understand them better), "Were very sorry for bothering you sir - may the lord bless you and have a good day". Then they left. I closed the door and burst out laughing - I could not believe it worked (my greatest fear was them calling my bluff with one of them speaking fluent German!)

The best part was going to German class on Monday and telling my teacher that I used my German skills in a practical way over the weekend. My teacher got all excited and asked me to share the experience with the class. I proudly told the whole story and got howls of laughter from my classmates (and a look of huge disappointment from my teacher).

 

[ceo_esq]

Re: Re: When Jehovah's Witnesses Attack

How wasteful triadboy. You should have burned them to heat your house.

The magazines or the missionaries?

 

[LW]

They are young earth creationists

Actually, they are old earth creationists. Unless, of course, they have changed their official immutable dogma once again.

 

[El Greco]

I used my German skills in a practical way over the weekend

This is a great idea to avoid not only JWs but also dealers of any kind! It would also be great for phone marketing screening, as long as you remember to answer every call with "Pronto" or something like that.

Hmmm, I'd better learn some basic swahili...

Jambo.... Sifahamu!... Unaweza kusema kiswahili ?

 

[Marc]

Actually, they are old earth creationists. Unless, of course, they have changed their official immutable dogma once again.

They changed to old earth? When did that happen? All their 'end of the world' dates were based on 6,000 years from creation of the world, switching to other events when the predicted date passed.

 

[LW]

They changed to old earth? When did that happen? All their 'end of the world' dates were based on 6,000 years from creation of the world, switching to other events when the predicted date passed.

At least their "Blue Book" ("Life, ...") supports old world creationism. Or, maybe I should qualify that a little more and say that the Finnish translation of the book does, though by my experience their translations are generally very accurate.

It contains the standard "thousand years is like a day" stuff and argues that the days of creation may have consisted of thousands of human years. They don't (IIRC) explicitly disallow the young earth model but the emphasis is on old earth side.

BTW, the section about creation contains one of the most amusing probability arguments I've ever seen. According to it, the probability that a writer puts the beginning at the start of a text is 1/10. (Or more precisely, 1/n if there are n parts in the text)

 

[Marc]

It contains the standard "thousand years is like a day" stuff and argues that the days of creation may have consisted of thousands of human years. They don't (IIRC) explicitly disallow the young earth model but the emphasis is on old earth side.

The "thousand years is like a day" is used by YEC to translate the 'creation week' to (besides being a litteral event) symbolize the age of the earth. The earth will exist for one of god's weeks, which is 1000 years per day.

The problem they have had is predicting when that thousand year/day week is going to end. They based it on a couple different events, the latest is on the creation of eve.

The group is also a splinter group that broke away from Seventh Day Adventists, another biblical litteralist group.

doesn't sound like they are going old earth to me. Maybe they are downplaying it at first until they can get you in.

 

[bratok]

Hmmm, I'd better learn some basic swahili...
Jambo.... Sifahamu!... Unaweza kusema kiswahili ?

Guess Farsi would also do great in scaring unwanted people off . "Allah Akbar!" or how was it...

 

[ingoa]

Never had problems with the JW's. I just say "I'm a physicist." That does it every time. Really.

And the good thing is they don't come back. As long as you don't move...