What was Lincoln hiding under that hat?

[shemp]

Did Lincoln suffer from terminal bad hair? Or was it something more sinister?

 

[The Great Zaganza]

I'm thinking more of a Ratatouille -scenario ...

 

[rdaneel]

It was a cat in the hat
It was meant to keep down the rats
but it attempted a coup de'tat
So now it's a floor mat.

 

[rockinkt]

He kept a Chevy under his hat.
That was why he was killed at Ford's Theatre.

 

[Robin]

I think he had a very tall head that was flat on top, like Frankenstein's Monster.

 

[zooterkin]

I don’t see marmalade sandwiches on the list.

 

[catsmate]

I don’t see marmalade sandwiches on the list.

Maybe horns? I'm sure plenty of Confederates think that.
Possibly a brain-slug?

 

[CORed]

I think he had a very tall head that was flat on top, like Frankenstein's Monster.

I don't know. He might have been a conehead.

 

[Steve]

Thing One and Thing Two. They cleaned up after all the messes he made.

 

[Trebuchet]

I've had to vote Planet X, because you've left out the obvious answer: His vampire slaying tools.

 

[Gord_in_Toronto]

If you are to believe the depiction of Lincoln in his totem pole (replica) at the Saxman Totem Park in Alaska, it was to make up for his short height. The story-I-was-told^TM by the guide when I visited there a couple of years ago was that the carvers of the pole were provided a portrait photo of Abe that only showed his upper torso. They did the best they could with what they were given.

So I voted X.

 

[alfaniner]

I don’t see marmalade sandwiches on the list.

You beat me to it. Although I was going to say "A loaf of bread and a jar of marmalade."

(It helps that I just saw Paddington last night, otherwise I would not have even gotten it!)

 

[smartcooky]

I voted X because it wasn't even a hat - it was a mobile table.

He could take it off and place it on the floor, using it for playing cards or as a beer table at a party.

It was also bulletproof; its a shame he wasn't wearing it at Ford's Theatre - history might have turned out differently

 

[Myriad]

His head was shaped that way.

 

[Dave Rogers]

You beat me to it. Although I was going to say "A loaf of bread and a jar of marmalade."

(It helps that I just saw Paddington last night, otherwise I would not have even gotten it!)

Yeah, marmalade sandwiches were the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the thread title. Of course, he lived in a time when access to marmalade was much more sporadic, which is why he needed such a tall hat.

Dave

 

[Mike!]

It was to hide the fact he'd been secretly replaced by a member of the Conehead race in an earlier effort to take over the Earth. They'd have succeeded had that pesky Civil War not broken out. Later efforts were an even greater failure.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coneheads

 

[Armitage72]

I'm thinking more of a Ratatouille -scenario ...

Or the episode of Pinky & The Brain in which Brain converted the Lincoln Memorial statue into a robot, with the hat added to conceal his command center.
(He claimed to be the spirit of Lincoln manifesting through his statue and returning to lead the country.)

 

[Crossbow]

I heard that Lincoln often stashed small notes on the inside of his hat.

 

[The Great Zaganza]

It can't be boldness because no one tried to sell me a stovetop on the internet as a cure.

 

[TurkeysGhost]

A coffee percolator. Being POTUS is hard, sometimes you need that caffeine hit.