What to tell a dying child?

[JLam]

This is mainly a question for those who do not believe in the existence of an afterlife.

This is a totally hypothetical situation...Thank Jebus I've never had to deal with it.

The situation:
You have a six year old child who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. He will most certainly die within the year. For argument's sake, let's say that there is no possibility that he will live longer than this. Let's also assume that the child is aware of this reality.

One night as you are tucking him into bed, he asks you "What's going to happen when I die?"

What do you tell him?

I'm inclined to say something about heaven and going to a "better place" even though I have absolutely no belief in anything of the sort. My reasoning is that since it's clear he's going to be dead before the age of 8, there is no harm in telling him this. Why make the kid even more scared than he already is? I think anything I could to to make his last days as happy and comforting as possible are worth it, even if I don't actually believe what I'm telling him.

What do you think?

 

[c4ts]

Tell him "You're a sinner, God hates you, and you're going to Little Baby Hell because you were never baptized by my church, but God can heal you if you join up right away," and pass him a Chick tract.

 

[TruthSeeker]

By 8, most kids in Judeo-Christian cultures have some sense of "heaven". I would ask the child what he thinks/hopes will happen. I would reassure him that we will be with him and taking care of him [eta: until he dies] and then probably not go all skeptic on him.

Comfort is key IMHO

 

[Riddick]

[bias]
you must play the god card. "Son, i look forward to seeing you again so much! We'll be together forever! What could be better than that?!" xxxooo
[/bias]

 

[Dogwood]

I think I would probably say,

"I don't know. What do you think?"

And then I would probably agree with his idea of an afterlife if it was comfortable to him. Since I'm an atheist, it's not like I have to worry about him going to the "hell for non-skeptical thinkers". The deathbed is not the time or place to encourage critical thinking about the afterlife. My goal would be to make him calm and happy.

It might be a lie, but it's one I could live with.


Edited to add:

Um, I mean, what Truthseeker said.

 

[Roadtoad]

Haven't had to deal with this one. Unfortunately, we had to deal with something close to it.

A friend's children were playing in a ditch dug by a utility crew. The side caved in, and one of the kids died, suffocated by the wet sand.

The surviving child still wants to know if he'll see his brother when he dies. He wants to know if his brother is with Jesus. He's still just a child, and I don't know what to tell this kid. Do I tell him, "Yes, your brother's with God," and hope he doesn't learn I lied to him? Or do I say, "No, once you're gone, you're gone," and hope his parent still talk to me after I've shocked their son.

And, am I right?

I hate dealing with my mortality. I know I have to, but I think Somerset Maugham was right: "Death is a rather dreary affair, and I advise you to have nothing to do with it."

 

[Kopji]

I've been in a close enough situation to know that my only way through is by holding onto some thread of honesty. It is ok to say you don't know when others think they do. Something to consider is that leaving to a 'heaven' full of strangers might be a frightening thought to a child. Let them know that there is a bond between you that cannot be broken by death.

From a naturalist perspective, death is a vital part of life. 'The place we come from is the place we return.'

There is a huge fallen tree in the woods near here. From the tip to the base it gradually shows signs of decay, then becomes light brown mulch, and finally plain dirt, where there is a new tree growing in the remains of the old tree.

The old tree is present in the new tree, and this is a view of life and death an atheist can approach honestly.