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What to do when sent a Jesus book

Smiledriver

Thinker
Smiledriver
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Messages
168
So I am awaiting the third book from a Christian relative sent to me since becoming an Atheist six years ago. I have been unfailingly open and read both previous books cover to cover. I plan to do so with the third. I responded to the previous two with the basic message that they were unconvincing and perhaps they should consider that what they believe is false and should be rejected (never get a response to that last bit)

Has this happened to anyone here and if so, what did you do?
 
BTW I am unfailingly polite to my relatives since I know that the books and their concern come from a good place, as does my hope that they might cast off religion. They are the best people I have ever known.
 
Smiledriver said:
Has this happened to anyone here and if so, what did you do?
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Send a thank you note and say absolutely nothing else.

The book, however misguided, is a gift. All that is required of you is good manners in accepting it.
 
I think that I'd respond by telling them that I'm willing to read the books they send me, if they'll send the books that I send them. They send me a book about the Bible...I send them Dawkins' "Greatest Show On Earth".

If they're as willing to read and understand what I believe, as they expect me to understand what they believe, no problem. On the other hand, if it's a one-way street, then forget it. I have better things to do with my time.


ETA: In my experience, this will result in an immediate stoppage of them sending books, as they won't be willing to accept this deal...but then it is them who are doing the refusing, not me.
 
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I agree with Loss Leader. You've gone above and beyond in even reading the first two. I've been given this stuff and it collects dust or something. If they press you, I'd go along the lines of "Oh, no, Auntie - there's no hope for me. I guess you have to just keep praying and we'll hope your God sorts it all out in the end."
 
Smiledriver said:
BTW I am unfailingly polite to my relatives since I know that the books and their concern come from a good place, as does my hope that they might cast off religion. They are the best people I have ever known.
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What Loss Leader said, and then Transform, Recycle, Reuse ...

That way you can sincerely tell them you've put their gifts to good use :)
 
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Any religious literature I receive goes straight into the recycling bin. Luckily this just amounts to the odd leaflet from one religious group or another.
 
First, I do not believe there's a need to do anything. You can just ignore the gift.

If you do think something needs done, the polite thing to do is get rid of it somehow without making a huge fuss. Not because I fear attacking the delicate sensibilities of theists, but rather because there's such a thing as gragiously receiving an unwanted gift. Remember, this has nothing to do with your aunt; this is all about how YOU respond.

If you want her to stop sending these as gifts, explain it to her in a calm manner. I would avoid bringing religion into this; just explain that while you appreciate the gesture, these aren't your thing. If you value your relationship with your aunt, or peace in your family, you have to be very careful here--and sending her books by Dawkins would be both ineffective and infalmatory. Perhaps explain that you have sufficient reading material to last a long time, if that's true, or that you have no interest in reading any more of these books.

That's the effective way to handle this. The FUN way is to go through one of these books line by line and show the errors in it, both factual and theological (such literature is usually as ignorant of theology as it is of science, ironically enough). That'd stop thing pretty quickly, though at the cost of your relationship with your aunt (unless she's a very unique sort of individual) and possibly the rest of your family (no one likes a jerk).
 
Wolfman said:
I think that I'd respond by telling them that I'm willing to read the books they send me, if they'll send the books that I send them. They send me a book about the Bible...I send them Dawkins' "Greatest Show On Earth".

If they're as willing to read and understand what I believe, as they expect me to understand what they believe, no problem. On the other hand, if it's a one-way street, then forget it. I have better things to do with my time.


ETA: In my experience, this will result in an immediate stoppage of them sending books, as they won't be willing to accept this deal...but then it is them who are doing the refusing, not me.
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I like this approach, or even just doing nothing.

FWIW, I'm a religious person but I generally don't like to talk about it to others, and especially to other religious people. And, especially not to anyone who would repeatedly proselytize to me. In that case, I'd probably tell them to go **** themselves.
 
Loss Leader said:
Send a thank you note and say absolutely nothing else.

The book, however misguided, is a gift. All that is required of you is good manners in accepting it.
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LL has put it through the goalposts.

Good manners will never get you into trouble, but bad manners can start a lifetime of hurting.

Politeness followed by silence, especially in this context, will pretty often get the message across better than a thousand words.
 
Smiledriver said:
BTW I am unfailingly polite to my relatives since I know that the books and their concern come from a good place, as does my hope that they might cast off religion. They are the best people I have ever known.
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Send them a note telling them that the books were greatly appreciated and have changed your life and would they like to donate to your new ministry.

Praise the lord and pass the hat.
 
You could quote Groucho Marx:

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Or Max Reger (substitute book for review):

I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. I have your review in front of me. Soon it will be behind me.
 
It's a gift.
Some are great, some are terrible. I would just be happy that there are any people who care enough about me to buy something, wrap it and post it.

There's no need to do anything about it further than you would for a pair of socks decorated with pug dogs. Thank the giver (thank the giving part rather than the gift), and either read it or send it on to someone who will appreciate it, or to goodwill.

With regards to the appropriateness, not the issue. When I was 13, I got a pair of red knickers from my godmother. Bizarre. And when my dad had alzheimer's, he wrapped up a potato for me.

Happy to be thought of by both of them.
 
Wolfman said:
I think that I'd respond by telling them that I'm willing to read the books they send me, if they'll send the books that I send them. They send me a book about the Bible...I send them Dawkins' "Greatest Show On Earth".

If they're as willing to read and understand what I believe, as they expect me to understand what they believe, no problem. On the other hand, if it's a one-way street, then forget it. I have better things to do with my time.


ETA: In my experience, this will result in an immediate stoppage of them sending books, as they won't be willing to accept this deal...but then it is them who are doing the refusing, not me.
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Your deal sounds a lot like one I struck with a Muslim coworker. She wanted me to fast with her for a day in Ramadan, which according to her "builds character." I agreed, provided we could both break our fast with bacon cheeseburgers and beer in the evening, which I imagine builds character more substantially. She stopped asking after that.

But I'd go with Sagan's The Demon-Haunted World instead. If they can get past the title, they'll find it's more about ET and psychic woo than religion, while covering critical thinking skills which so rarely figure into theistic arguments. Chiefly the idea that belief alone is not enough - that even if you believe something earnestly, it doesn't mean it's true.
 
Loss Leader said:
Send a thank you note and say absolutely nothing else.

The book, however misguided, is a gift. All that is required of you is good manners in accepting it.
Click to expand...

sackett said:
LL has put it through the goalposts.

Good manners will never get you into trouble, but bad manners can start a lifetime of hurting.

Politeness followed by silence, especially in this context, will pretty often get the message across better than a thousand words.
Click to expand...

In this case it does not appear to be working. This is the third book the OP is about to receive. If he made any comments I doubt if it would be very agreeable.
 
Depends how close you are.

If you hardly see them donate it to a Saly Army charity shop and just dont mention it.

If you are close to them you need to have a chat and then donate it to said shop.

No point in a book going to waste, even if the subject is a bit stupid
 
I like Wolfman's idea, except I agree with Beelzebuddy's tweak:

Beelzebuddy said:
But I'd go with Sagan's The Demon-Haunted World instead. If they can get past the title, they'll find it's more about ET and psychic woo than religion, while covering critical thinking skills which so rarely figure into theistic arguments. Chiefly the idea that belief alone is not enough - that even if you believe something earnestly, it doesn't mean it's true.
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This is the nicest thing you can do for anyone - introduce them to critical thinking, and The Demon-Haunted World is still the best introduction. Next best is Martin Gardner's Fads and Fallacies in the Name of Science, if you think the word "demon" will put them off, like it did for someone I recommended it to.
 
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