Isn't that how it works for a black hole, though? If it's curved enough, you get an event horizon. I'm not sure how something can be too curved to be a black hole, if we're talking mass alone.
The Schwarzschild solution is a solution for a black hole sitting in a flat spacetime. The spacetime far away from the black hole must be flat, the spacetime near the black hole is obviously not.
If the spacetime far away from the black hole is NOT flat, then the Schwarzschild solution is not valid.
It may be my misunderstanding of Birkhoff, but it seems to me like nowhere does it require asymptotic anything inside the sphere.
I'm not talking about flatness inside the sphere. Asymptotic flatness means that spacetime approaches perfect flatness as you go out infinitely far away. That's the whole point. The
exterior solution is what must be asymptotically flat. But the universe isn't.
I think what may be going on is that you're misunderstanding the
Wikipedia entry, or some other source that's copied from it. So let's take a look at it for a moment.
In general relativity, Birkhoff's theorem states that any spherically symmetric solution of the vacuum field equations must be static and asymptotically flat.
This makes it sound like asymptotic flatness is an output of the theory, not an input. But that's not quite true. And the reason it's not really true is hiding in this very sentence, though it's easy to miss: the
vacuum field equations. What does vacuum mean here? It means no mass.
So what we're looking at with this theorem is a spherically symmetric solution in which there's no mass
in our region of interest. There can be mass somewhere, but (1) that mass must be spherically symmetric so our solution is as well, and (2) we're only looking at the solution outside of that mass, and there is no mass in this exterior region.
But that lack of mass anywhere else is what leads to asymptotic flatness. By saying that there's basically no mass anywhere except in this specific region, we've basically made asymptotic flatness an input, just under a different name.
And when we're talking about cosmology and what's happening at very large scales, you're obviously NOT talking about the universe having no mass outside of a particular region. There's mass
everywhere. You can't get away from it. So even ignoring asymptotic flatness as such and using the phrasing as presented by Wikipedia, Birkoff's theorem is invalid from the start for examining cosmology because we can't use a
vacuum solution when the universe isn't a vacuum.