Dr Adequate
Banned
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2004
- Messages
- 17,766
Two Cheers For Democracy
Being a celebration of the 2008 primary season.
More specifically, of the fact that it has ended.
There was Huckabee, Romney, John Edwards, McCain,
and Barack Obama (don't call him "Hussein"!);
Giuliani, unfairly lampooned by the press
for his habit of wearing a wig and a dress;
and Hillary Clinton, and Gravel, and Dodd,
and Richardson, Thompson and someone called Paul
with political theories that struck me as odd;
and old Uncle Tom Cobley and all.
The blogs and the forums and YouTube as well
kept us rapt and enthralled with their meaningless drama:
Would Whitey be shocked by the words of Michelle;
and would Hillary order a hit on Obama?
We talked of the vital events of the day ---
Is Obama a sexist? Is Clinton a cheat?
Do you cling to your guns, or your God, or a gay?
Oh say, are you bitter or are you elite?
Did McCain sleep around? Did Obama smoke crack?
and is he not quite "black enough" --- or too black?
Did he give an "amen" to Wright's sermons or not;
and did Clinton imply that she wanted him shot?
Would millions of Paultards, we wondered in fright,
shuffle out of their basements and blink in the light?
But the Internet trolls all remained in their holes,
'cos they couldn't be bothered to go to the polls.
Does Hillary shoot, and is whiskey her drink?
Did Obama look silly while wearing that hat?
Oh, and somebody mentioned an issue, I think,
but we quickly forgot about that.
But it's finally over, now Clinton is through
(her campaign was too doomed for the Bitters to save)
and the choice that is left is to pick one of two,
unless Hillary's ghost should return from the grave.
You'll turn out November and yank on the lever;
this choice of two evils is better than some:
oh, will it be Barry (elitist but clever),
or John (unpretentious yet dumb)?
In the Fall, when the carnival comes round again,
and you vote for Obama, or vote for McCain,
give two cheers for democracy, one hearty curse,
'cos it's stupid. But all other systems are worse.
Being a celebration of the 2008 primary season.
More specifically, of the fact that it has ended.
There was Huckabee, Romney, John Edwards, McCain,
and Barack Obama (don't call him "Hussein"!);
Giuliani, unfairly lampooned by the press
for his habit of wearing a wig and a dress;
and Hillary Clinton, and Gravel, and Dodd,
and Richardson, Thompson and someone called Paul
with political theories that struck me as odd;
and old Uncle Tom Cobley and all.
The blogs and the forums and YouTube as well
kept us rapt and enthralled with their meaningless drama:
Would Whitey be shocked by the words of Michelle;
and would Hillary order a hit on Obama?
We talked of the vital events of the day ---
Is Obama a sexist? Is Clinton a cheat?
Do you cling to your guns, or your God, or a gay?
Oh say, are you bitter or are you elite?
Did McCain sleep around? Did Obama smoke crack?
and is he not quite "black enough" --- or too black?
Did he give an "amen" to Wright's sermons or not;
and did Clinton imply that she wanted him shot?
Would millions of Paultards, we wondered in fright,
shuffle out of their basements and blink in the light?
But the Internet trolls all remained in their holes,
'cos they couldn't be bothered to go to the polls.
Does Hillary shoot, and is whiskey her drink?
Did Obama look silly while wearing that hat?
Oh, and somebody mentioned an issue, I think,
but we quickly forgot about that.
But it's finally over, now Clinton is through
(her campaign was too doomed for the Bitters to save)
and the choice that is left is to pick one of two,
unless Hillary's ghost should return from the grave.
You'll turn out November and yank on the lever;
this choice of two evils is better than some:
oh, will it be Barry (elitist but clever),
or John (unpretentious yet dumb)?
In the Fall, when the carnival comes round again,
and you vote for Obama, or vote for McCain,
give two cheers for democracy, one hearty curse,
'cos it's stupid. But all other systems are worse.
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