The Weird-Zone baby Messiah

[FireGarden]

One dark, cold winter's night, as you prepare to go to sleep, you hear a knock at your door. It's a very insistant knock, a loud rapping that you cannot ignore. So you go to see what's so important that someone has decided to bother you at this late hour.

The moment you touch the front door, the knocking stops. A little phased, you open the door and discover what looks like a new born baby has been abandoned on your door-step. You see no sign of who might have left the child there.

Obviously, on such a cold night you have to bring the child in. As you do so, cradling the child gently, it speaks softly but clearly, saying: "Ta very much. I must say it's a cold night out there. I couldn't trouble you for a warm cup of milk, could I? I'm famished"

Yes that's right.
The baby is talking to you.

YOU :- How come you can talk?

Baby :- Well, that's easily explained. You see I'm a messenger from D'rasce Grof and I'm here to reveal the true religion to humanity.

YOU :- Well, what's the truth then? Is there a God?

And, while you perform a much needed nappy-change, all is revealed
Baby :- Well, it's like this. You see that leesie brousette downihi lal nogge, chum simsed, venre roftognet.

YOU :- Err, sorry I didn't get that.. "Leesie ... boket..?"
Baby :- No, no. Leesie brousette. It's like when flanest ickrem fo nib dalen pumtep nom oray eesnow. Ybyb tera-owfls.

YOU :- I don't understand what you're saying.
Baby :- Misha fie fafwor!

You take the baby to as many people as you think might be able to shed some light as to what is going on. Over the next days and months, the baby grows in an apperently normal way, except that he can speak. He never forgets this strange language that he speaks, and nobody can translate it.

One day he tells you "It'd be so easy for you to understand me. It would only take a few years of study. 10 or 20 if you foresake everything else. Shall we begin your studies?"

What is your answer?

 

[Upchurch]

Were this story true, I'd take a crack at it. If for no other reason than I would be curious and there is obviously something strange going on.

 

[FireGarden]

Were this story true, I'd take a crack at it. If for no other reason than I would be curious and there is obviously something strange going on.

Edited to say
Oops, sorry.

You're the one that voted yes, obviously!

 

[Yahweh]

What is your answer?

I'd say "Look, I dont like you, you dont like me. If you dont talk normally, I'm gonna poke you in the eyes. Everytime you start speaking in tongues like that, I'll poke you in the eyes. Keep up with it too long, and you're going back into the cold, ya hear."

My answer is "no" by the way.

 

[BillyTK]

"Ta very much. I must say it's a cold night out there. I couldn't trouble you for a warm cup of milk, could I? I'm famished"

If I found a baby on my doorstep doing impressions of Bert from Mary Poppins, I'd take it staight darn the nick and let them sort it art, and then call in for a couple of stiff ones at me local, and no mistake, guv-nar!

 

[crocodile deathroll]

I won't cook those funny mushrooms again

 

[FireGarden]

Yahweh :- "Look, I dont like you, you dont like me. If you dont talk normally, I'm gonna poke you in the eyes. Everytime you start speaking in tongues like that, I'll poke you in the eyes. Keep up with it too long, and you're going back into the cold, ya hear."

Baby:- Misha fie fafwor!
[As it reaches for the telephone to call social services]

 

[FireGarden]

crocodile deathroll :- I won't cook those funny mushrooms again
Baby :- Oh, but that's good stuff!! Kimba Singa! SHWING!!

(At least that's better than an impression of Bert)

 

[EdipisReks]

i would cook the baby and eat it, so that i can absorb its powers.

 

[c4ts]

I'd return the drug baby to UCE. He might one day realize it's gone.

 

[FireGarden]

"Topastotew ton stoping won. Wie?
Rapadox saw vile Pocks, won asbent."

Just then, the baby is devoured by EdipisReks.
Is our loss Cthulhu's gain?
Will this mystery never be solved?

Where's Sherlock Holmes when you need him?