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The War on St. Patrick's Day

Regnad Kcin

Penultimate Amazing
Regnad Kcin
Joined
Mar 11, 2002
Messages
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The Last Open Road
So I'm in the supermarket, walking the bakery aisle, when my glance happens to fall on a box of Freihofer's cupcakes. Being a cupcake afficianado, I stopped and peered inside the clear plastic cover. There, on top of the delectable treats, were numerous little green clover-shaped sugar pieces. The box was labeled "Holiday Cupcakes."

A short time later, I came upon a stack of packages of cookies, themselves entirely clover-shaped, and dusted with green-colored sugar. Their label? "Holiday Sugar Cookies."

Now, it's not like each manufacturer merely draped a box with generic "Holiday" labels, printed so as to be good for whatever event was coming up on the calendar. Both labels were specific, in color, and featured St. Patrick's-style illustrations, but the words "St. Patrick's Day" did not appear anywhere on them.

May I expect another book from Fox News' John Gibson?
 
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You would think Bill O'Reilly, of all people, would be all over this affront to all things holy and Irish.
 
Yeah, like St. Patty's day isn't already a hot-button issue...
We’ll be comin' down Fifth Avenue upon St. Patty's Day,
A great day for the irish all across the USA,
But begorrah, what is this I hear?
This cry and ballyhoo?




There's a bunch of queers again this year who say they're Irish too!
Oh God loves the Irish, unless of course you're gay.
If you are you won't be marchin' upon St. Patty's Day.
You can be a bum, a bucket of scum, sure and that's okay
But ya can't be Irish if you're gay.




​
Now the Order of Hibernians, those eminences gray
Have delivered this pronouncement upon the blessed day...
Sure a little bit o' heaven fell and nestled in the sea...
But you're goin' straight to hell for homosexuality!
Oh God loves the Irish, unless of course you're gay.
That was their pronouncement as the pipes began to play.
You can be a con, a mafia don, we'll laugh it all away
But ya can't be Irish if you're gay.




​
[tune=Harrigan]
Oh, l-e-sbia-n and s spells lesbians!

Chosin' other women for to mate with,
Divil a man can ever get a date with
L-e-sbia-n and s we say
It's a shame that these dames want to come out and march with us,
Lesbians... no way!
[/tune]

Now just ask Cardinal Egan, he's bound to set you straight
It's boyos like the Kennedy's that made this country great.
We don't allow no Peter Pan the wearin' of the green

And when we say "up the Irish" that isn't what me mean!
Oh god loves the Irish
As long as men are men.
Except of course for leprechauns, we've never been sure of them.
You can be a bum, a bucket of scum, sure and that's okay
But ya can't be Irish if you're gay!​
​
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​





​
 
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My wife informs me that the "snakes" St. Patty drove out of Ireland actually was the near eradication of the pagan religions. Herpetologically speaking, there were never any snakes in Ireland.
 
Tricky said:
My wife informs me that the "snakes" St. Patty drove out of Ireland actually was the near eradication of the pagan religions. Herpetologically speaking, there were never any snakes in Ireland.
Click to expand...
Moreover,

St Patrick was not exactly Irish, but a mentally unstable Welsh cleric.
 
Other than not being Irish there's no certainty about where St Patrick hailed from. England, Scotland and France have all been suggested. Personally I always argue strongly for England, if only to upset the more rabid Irish-Americans I sometimes run across.
 
Don't get too excited, it's just "trickle-down" political correctness. St. Patrick's Day isn't even a holiday, it's just an excuse to drink green beer. I guess political correctness is more important that correctness?
 
peptoabysmal said:
Don't get too excited, it's just "trickle-down" political correctness. St. Patrick's Day isn't even a holiday, it's just an excuse to drink green beer. I guess political correctness is more important that correctness?
Click to expand...
True. In fact, St. Patrick's day is really an American phenomenon, raised to prominence in order for American decendants of the Irish to celebrate their heritage. It's hardly noticed in Ireland. And they don't drink green beer either.
 
I have a theory (casual sense of the word) on understanding American holidays and things like St Patrick's day. IMO, most celebrated "holidays" can be classified under one of two headings:

1) Family Holidays
2) Sex Holidays

Family holidays get celebrated because they provide reasons for families to be together. Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, and even Labor Day are examples (Labor Day = backyard cookouts). How many times have you heard people say, for example, that Christmas, to them, is about getting together with family?

Then there are the Sex Holidays, which get celebrated because, well, they provide an opportunity for sex. Valentine's day is the obvious one, but things like St Patrick's Day, New Years (due to New Years Eve), and Halloween are also grounded in sex. There the focus is on bars and drinking, and, as we all know, drinking can lead to sex. Well, that's the goal of a lot of it. People will gladly drink green beer if it means there is a better than normal chance of getting laid later. Halloween is a favorite of the kids for candy, of course, but adults like it a lot, too. What do adults do? Party/bars, drink, have sex.

The 4th of July is one that is somewhere in-between. It is a big family event, but there is also a lot of "celebration" that occurs. But I think it is more of a family day than the other events.
 
We let in the Haitians.
We let in the Russians.
We let in the Nigerians.
We let in the Jews.
We let in the Frogs!
We let in the Poles, Wops, Chinks etc.

We let in the Irish!!!

I think that's fair.

Ed God I love this Country. We are all going to Hell in a handbasket with people we can't stand. Might as well get drunk.
 
Regnad Kcin said:
So I'm in the supermarket, walking the bakery aisle, when my glance happens to fall on a box of Freihofer's cupcakes. Being a cupcake afficianado, I stopped and peered inside the clear plastic cover. There, on top of the delectable treats, were numerous little green clover-shaped sugar pieces. The box was labeled "Holiday Cupcakes."

A short time later, I came upon a stack of packages of cookies, themselves entirely clover-shaped, and dusted with green-colored sugar. Their label? "Holiday Sugar Cookies."

Now, it's not like each manufacturer merely draped a box with generic "Holiday" labels, printed so as to be good for whatever event was coming up on the calendar. Both labels were specific, in color, and featured St. Patrick's-style illustrations, but the words "St. Patrick's Day" did not appear anywhere on them.

May I expect another book from Fox News' John Gibson?
Click to expand...

This is going to sound stupid but I think that there is a prosaic explaination.

I bet that they save x dollars by having one large printing run of "holiday cookie" labels as opposed to 6-10 (?) smaller runs of bespoke holiday labels. Not an evil left wing conspiracy, simply good old right wing greed.

ps. I like the Irish. I like to watch them wing taters at each other when they get likkered up.
 
Ed,

Take a look again at the third paragraph in the quote of mine you used. Both manufacturer's labels were specifically for St. Pat's Day. Clovers, green borders (in the shape of a clover), etc. Not suitable for any other "holiday" that I'm aware of.
 
Cleon said:
To-may-to, to-mah-to...
Click to expand...

Now here is a tomato.
jessica_alba_150.jpg
 
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