The Resurrection of Jesus

kyuudousha

Unregistered
K
Hello, everybody.

I feel like somebody calling into a radio station or something, but... I'm a long-time lurker, first time poster.

Here's something I've been wondering: Was the resurrection of Jesus simply the most overblown "big fish" story?

When I really think about it, I'm thinking that maybe -- just MAYBE, Jesus didn't actually die on the cross. Maybe he's really close to death, but not completely dead. So they lay him to rest in a tomb and seal the entrance with a boulder or something. So, isn't it conceivable that if somebody rolled the rock there, sombody else could've rolled the rock away? That somebody removes Jesus from the tomb, or looks at him and leaves. Later, Jesus awakens and stumbles out of the tomb. Then, he shows up at the place where the apostles are gathered, and they're like, "Josh! Dude, you're alive!", and Jesus is like, "Yeah! Dude, check out my hands and feet! Look at those holes!" Then, somebody writes about it years later and, I don't know, embellishes a bit.

Sorry for all the valley-speak. That's about the best I can do at 2AM.
 
The Romans were a little more effecient than that. If they crucified you, you died. In Jesus' case, guards were posted at the cross to make sure nobody took him down before he died.

Although you are correct that merely surviving a Roman execution would be an incredible story, it's much more reasonable to assume that the Romans did their job, and the rest of the nonsense was made up.

Notice how no one ever talks about all the other people were resurrected that day? That's too wierd even for them.

Matthew
27:52
And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,

27:53
And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.
Click to expand...
Funny how this little stunt not only failed to appear in any contemporary historical accounts, but even failed to make it into the other three Gospels...
 
Actually that is exactly what is proposed in a conspiracy book. I believe the name is Holy Blood, Holy Grail or something like that. Basically they say Jesus was drugged and the guards bribed. He was then smuggled to France where he became the Patriarch of the French Royal Line. When the French throne was lost and the entire family apparently killed, the (now secret) Knights Templar smuggled the remaining members out of the country. Umberto Eco has a great novel based on the conspiracy titled, Foucault's Pendulum.

Ossai
 
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