The Power of Crystals

Jimcalagon

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Oct 3, 2007
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I was amazed to read this completely uncritical 'explanation' of the alleged healing effects of crtsyals on the Manchester Evening News' website - manchestereveningnews.co.uk/lifestyle/health_and_beauty/health_and_beauty_feature/s/1019773_crystal_power

(Sorry, can't post urls here yet...)

How can people make these medical claims for things of this ilk. Is it legal?:rolleyes:

Warning - this article has a high mumbo-jumbo index. BUT you can comment on it. Enjoy :D
 
One can comment, it's true, but they seem disinclined to publish mine...
 
Eugh. I wanted some coloured stones for a fancy dress costume I was making and I had to wade my way through all sorts of woo claims while searching for the size and colour I was looking for. It's just amazing anyone falls for it.

By the way, does anyone have the link for that priceless "crystal homoeopathy" spoof?

PS. Here it is. Enjoy.

Rolfe.
 
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My favorite was the large rock salt crystal with the christmas-tree light inside my wacky cousin bought for a hundred simoleons. Makes "ions," don'cha know?
 
I've posted this story before ... somewhere ...

Many years ago, I was involved in a business run by my cousin the witch. The usual astrology / crystal / numerology / seance / tarot effluvium.

We were at a "New Age" con(vention), and I was wandering around when a woman came up and asked me to stop "drawing off the energy" of her partner. The guy was doing cold readings and having a tough time, so he blamed me.

At this point, I had an idea (I love spoofing spoofers). I took out this little "bug" transmitter I had been working on, disconnected the battery, and said, "There, that should do it!" She came back a little later and told me that everything was fine, and could I explain the device?

"It's a dampening field generator. See this silver can? It holds a quartz crystal fragment of the highest quality, and these other pieces energize the crystal and cause it to resonate at its prime energy mode. The field can be detected from 50 yards away. I've disconnected the battery, so now it's just an ordinary unenergized crystal."

(I did not tell her that I used it to jam FM radio broadcasts just for fun. The battery was completely drained, anyway.)

Next thing I know, I'm taking orders for my "Psychic Cloaking Device" and making enough money to pay the rent that month.

A few years later, I ran into one of my customers and asked him how well it was working. He gave me a glowing testimonial of how his life changed because dark forces could no longer find him, and blah blah blah ...

"How often do you change the battery?" I asked.

"Battery ... ? What battery?"

Some things are just too easy; like making money selling worthless trinkets to wooists.
 
Schneibster said:
My favorite was the large rock salt crystal with the christmas-tree light inside my wacky cousin bought for a hundred simoleons. Makes "ions," don'cha know?
Click to expand...

I was given one of these several years ago. I can't say I noticed any escaping ions, but it was rather a nice decorative lamp, if wholly useless to see by.

As I predicted , it eventually cracked through heat stress and water absorption.

I had to look up "Simoleon". Ye gods, your cuz was robbed. Even in overpriced Britain you can get one of these for about $30. (As a 1 kg chunk of Zechstein salt costs about 1 cent to quarry, the profit margin is still huge.)
 
Fnord said:
I've posted this story before ... somewhere ...

Many years ago, I was involved in a business run by my cousin the witch. The usual astrology / crystal / numerology / seance / tarot effluvium.

We were at a "New Age" con(vention), and I was wandering around when a woman came up and asked me to stop "drawing off the energy" of her partner. The guy was doing cold readings and having a tough time, so he blamed me.

At this point, I had an idea (I love spoofing spoofers). I took out this little "bug" transmitter I had been working on, disconnected the battery, and said, "There, that should do it!" She came back a little later and told me that everything was fine, and could I explain the device?

"It's a dampening field generator. See this silver can? It holds a quartz crystal fragment of the highest quality, and these other pieces energize the crystal and cause it to resonate at its prime energy mode. The field can be detected from 50 yards away. I've disconnected the battery, so now it's just an ordinary unenergized crystal."

(I did not tell her that I used it to jam FM radio broadcasts just for fun. The battery was completely drained, anyway.)

Next thing I know, I'm taking orders for my "Psychic Cloaking Device" and making enough money to pay the rent that month.

A few years later, I ran into one of my customers and asked him how well it was working. He gave me a glowing testimonial of how his life changed because dark forces could no longer find him, and blah blah blah ...

"How often do you change the battery?" I asked.

"Battery ... ? What battery?"

Some things are just too easy; like making money selling worthless trinkets to wooists.
Click to expand...


How can you do this and keep a straight face? I'd love to do this but I know that I could not control my laughter.
 
Soapy Sam said:
I was given one of these several years ago. I can't say I noticed any escaping ions, but it was rather a nice decorative lamp, if wholly useless to see by.

As I predicted , it eventually cracked through heat stress and water absorption.
Click to expand...
I expect that's what happened to hers, too; I've never asked. I did point out when she proudly presented it that it should be protected from moisture. ;)

Soapy Sam said:
I had to look up "Simoleon".
Click to expand...
It's one of the good old ones. American slang is always amusing, and generally has a colorful history attached. I am somewhat of a student of Cockney rhyming slang, more a matter of curiosity than any systematic study.

Soapy Sam said:
Ye gods, your cuz was robbed. Even in overpriced Britain you can get one of these for about $30. (As a 1 kg chunk of Zechstein salt costs about 1 cent to quarry, the profit margin is still huge.)
Click to expand...
It was probably about 2kg or so, with a little hollow in it for the christmas-tree light and a hole for the cord. It was a bit reddish; I don't know what that means, you might, that being your field. She and her current squeeze sat there blissfully swooping handfuls of air from above it, presumably full of "ions," over their faces while my wife and I played along to be polite.
 
nw843x said:
How can you do this and keep a straight face? I'd love to do this but I know that I could not control my laughter.
Click to expand...

1) It was back in the late 1980s, right after a divorce and a lay-off.
2) My "Moral Compass" wasn't working all that well (chronic hunger tends to do that).
3) I told them nothing but the truth.
4) They drew their own conclusions.
5) I never corrected them.
6) They offered me cash-money.
7) I took their money, and gave them what they asked for ("I want one just like yours!").

I know ... it puts me in roughly the same class as Sylvia Browne, but at least my fingernails are short enough for me to tend to my personal hygiene without assistance from others.

:whistling
 
Here's a link to Another Story.

Part of it goes "In early eighteenth-century Britain, the small silver coin whose proper name was sixpence was often slangily called a simon. (snip) ... a plausible origin lies in the name of Thomas Simon, a famous seventeenth-century engraver at the London Mint ... (snip) ... Simon seems to have been taken to the USA and transferred to the dollar coin. Having in mind the much more valuable French gold coins called Napoleons, some wit bundled simon and Napoleon together and made from it simoleon."
 
nw843x said:
How can you do this and keep a straight face? I'd love to do this but I know that I could not control my laughter.
Click to expand...
You just have to remember that these people Waste Our Oxygen. There might as well be payback!!!:D
 
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