the official thread to help Dylan Avery find employment

Bobert

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Ok so it's quite obvious that do-over's film creating career is sinking like a whale turd.
I have also noticed that his most recent interviews portray a rather desperate and defeated Dylan.
I think he sees the Taco Bell drive-thru that is in his future.
Anyone have any employment suggestions for Mr. Avery?
Film school?
 
I reckon he should make a film about how the government did 9/11 then make a documentary full of lies about how he thinks they did OH WAIT A MINUTE!

But if Clerks is anything to go by, he should start from the lowest of the low: a jizzmopper.
 
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Do Over Dylan = D.O.D.... Department of Defense....

Holy Cow Flaps Batman...... it WAS an inside jobby job.
 
With Dylan's girlish looks, he could probably cross dress and whore himself out on street corners for 10 bucks. Hell, that's more respectable then the crap he is doin now.
 
1. Horrible warning.

2. Prep/Line Cook in the CIT Cafeteria - employment everlasting.

3. Low grade fiction author for stoners and shut-ins.

4. Fluffer

5. Ward of the State.
 
Like anyone looking for a job, he should try for one that utilizes his skills. He should go work on a cattle farm where his skills at shoveling what comes out of bulls, could be properly utilized....
 
Bobert said:
Ok so it's quite obvious that do-over's film creating career is sinking like a whale turd.
I have also noticed that his most recent interviews portray a rather desperate and defeated Dylan.
I think he sees the Taco Bell drive-thru that is in his future.
Anyone have any employment suggestions for Mr. Avery?
Film school?
Click to expand...

I'd hire him to do landscaping work as long as he doesn't talk to any of my neighbors or wear any inside-jobby-job propaganda.

Alternatively, he could hang out in the parking lot of the local home depot and do day labor for people with building projects....at least that way he wouldn't be giving income tax money to the evil government who he believes are murderers.
 
Quad4_72 said:
With Dylan's girlish looks, he could probably cross dress and whore himself out on street corners for 10 bucks. Hell, that's more respectable then the crap he is doin now.
Click to expand...
I couldn't have said it better myself.
 
Dylan.
I need a coffee table/footrest.
Hours would be 24/7 but obviously the applicant would get occasional breaks to straighten up, get something to eat and go to the toilet.

A freshly printed "1000 ameros" note for one days work sounds good?

I am awash with ameros right now.

Interested?
 
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I have a great idea for him. He can make the Dylan Avery fingernail clippers. Works especially great when you're on camera and others are talking about sciencey stuff.
 
I think he should try to get a job working at a local TV station. He could start as a Studio Cable Dragger and work his way up to Stage Hand and then maybe after a few years they might let him start touching the cameras. If he plays it right and manages to not break too much gear, he might even get to be a Camera Operator or even a Floor Manager... Then he could be learning the basics of how to make Videos and earning a wage at the same time.

If the TV station has a Newsroom, even better- he might be able to chat with the reporters and producers to find out how they go about investigating and reporting actual news. He might even, if he tries really, really hard, learn the importance of CHECKING FACTS.

A man can dream, can't he?
 
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