1. You're judging them from the perspective of your culture, not theirs. You're applying the criteria that are considered honour in your culture. Yes, they wouldn't get any respect from _you_. But the praise or shame that matters for them, the actual "honour" there, are those in their local community: it's by those people that they'll be respected or shunned.
2. Even going Eurocentric, it's not that far behind that we were not that much different. Odysseus slow-hanging the maids for the mere accusation sexual unchastity (and at that: no trial, no right to self-defense in court, no nothing) would not pass for an abomination to his audience, but as proper uncompromising morals. Arthur's wanting to burn Guineverre alive for unchastity didn't quite pass for an abomination to everyone in his court either. And nobody would call either of them dishonourable for that.
Not saying either act is _ok_, as it isn't. I'm merely that that's how flexible and relative the concept of "honour" is. Something which is tied intrinsically and by its very meaning to just how much your local community respects you, will vary as much as the customs of those communitites do.
3. You mention notions like integrity, and they're good and fine, but how do you measure them objectively?
Would a judge count as having integrity if he doesn't hesitate to sentence his own offspring for a crime? Did the Unabomber's brother have integrity for helping arrest his murderous brother?
I think most people would answer "yes". Putting justice above even family ties would certainly count as a lot of integrity, plus it clearly disassociates one from the crime of their relative.
Well, in this case the "crime" is running away from her husband, and it's a villainous crime in their view. Someone exacting harsh punishment in spite of family ties is one way to show integrity, which is why such mutilations or even "honour killings" are done by family members.
Again, for you or I it's an abomination. Not gonna defend it.
But what I'm trying to say is that the concept of "honour" is the real abomination and root of all these other abominations done in its name. Once someone's goal in life is just to fit in some group at all cost, and completely independent of other notions like "human rights" or "commensurate punishment" or even just "justice", then really they're gonna do any abomination they think is needed to fit in that group.