Same-sex hand holding

rex

Thinker
Joined
Aug 14, 2001
Messages
140
Well everyone, would you be willing to be seen holding hands in public in broad daylight with another adult of the same gender, such as your best friend (whatever your sexual orientation) or your partner (if you are a gay with a partner)?
 
rex said:
Well everyone, would you be willing to be seen holding hands in public in broad daylight with another adult of the same gender, such as your best friend (whatever your sexual orientation) or your partner (if you are a gay with a partner)?

I don't understand the question or its purpose. I have no desire to hold hand with an "adult of the same gender" in public or anywhere else. As to whether I be willing to do it that would depend on a purpose but most likely the answer is no.
 
Re: Re: Same-sex hand holding

Grammatron said:


I don't understand the question or its purpose. I have no desire to hold hand with an "adult of the same gender" in public or anywhere else. As to whether I be willing to do it that would depend on a purpose but most likely the answer is no.

The poll has a serious purpose: to gauge homophobic feelings amongst posters about any public same-sex behaviour that is commonly seen amongst heterosexual couples. Here's a link to the page that inspired this poll:

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/sshhd/
 
Re: Re: Re: Same-sex hand holding

rex said:


The poll has a serious purpose: to gauge homophobic feelings amongst posters about any public same-sex behaviour that is commonly seen amongst heterosexual couples. Here's a link to the page that inspired this poll:

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/sshhd/

I don't think the question would accurately guage "homophobic feelings", it is entirely possible that someone may not feel comfortable holding ahnds with a member of the same sex themselves, but have no problem with the idea of other people doing it.
 
Re: Re: Re: Same-sex hand holding

rex said:


The poll has a serious purpose: to gauge homophobic feelings amongst posters about any public same-sex behaviour that is commonly seen amongst heterosexual couples. Here's a link to the page that inspired this poll:

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/sshhd/


I do not see how it would gage homophobic feelings, I would not want to hold hands with a man, or for that a woman with whom I was not involved with. Holding hands is usually a sign of intimacy so why would you want to show intimacy if your not intimate?
 
Re: Re: Re: Same-sex hand holding

rex said:


The poll has a serious purpose: to gauge homophobic feelings amongst posters about any public same-sex behaviour that is commonly seen amongst heterosexual couples. Here's a link to the page that inspired this poll:

http://grove.ufl.edu/~ggsa/sshhd/

Why stop with holding hands? And like Nyarlathotep said it does not show if the person who is against doing it him/herself have any homophobic feelings.
 
I think it is not worded well... requires too many assumptions to answer, and I can think of assumptions that would make me say yes, and some that would make me say no.

I would hold a male's hand, if they were handicapped and needed help crossing a road, for example. And I wouldn't worry what people thought of me.

If the question means, intimate hand-holding, I would not, simply because I do not get intimate with men, because I happen to be heterosexual. It has nothing to do with whether I would be "willing to be seen".
 
I agree with Nyarlathotep.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t want to hold the hand of a same-sex adult in public, but that hardly makes me homophobic. :)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Same-sex hand holding

Nyarlathotep said:


I don't think the question would accurately guage "homophobic feelings", it is entirely possible that someone may not feel comfortable holding ahnds with a member of the same sex themselves, but have no problem with the idea of other people doing it.

Well, that's certainly possible, but I'm more interested in how comfortable people are with it themselves. Here in New Zealand, I have seen young women walking along the street in public hand-in-hand with their female friends (and their male friends too), and nobody ever thinks anything odd about it, but I've never seen any men publicly hold hands with anyone except women (unless you count handshakes with other men - assume you do not)!

I'm also fairly explicit in whom you might be willing to hold hands with - assume whether you would be willing to do so in your home town with your best friend (or partner if you one of a gay couple)? I did not intend it to include helping someone who is handicapped across the street.
 
Being A guy I also know what guys do with thier hands when no-one is looking. Ya just never know where that hand has been.
 
I am the Hank Hill of atheists I guess. I dont like PDA of any kind. Straight, gay, whatever.
 
I can’t really say I have any desire to hold another males hand just for the hell of it. I’ve been raised in a society were holding hands is consider a sign of intimacy. If there were some reason to be holding someone else’s hand, then i wouldn't have any problem with it. It would of course be completely different if I was raised in a different society. Throughout Africa, the Middle East, and parts of Asia it’s perfectly acceptable for men to go walking around holding hands, and it’s merely considered a friendly gesture.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Same-sex hand holding

rex said:


I'm also fairly explicit in whom you might be willing to hold hands with - assume whether you would be willing to do so in your home town with your best friend (or partner if you one of a gay couple)? I did not intend it to include helping someone who is handicapped across the street.

Still not a good guage. As several other people have said, I would not hold hands with any of my male friends, but neither would I do so with any of my female friends. Women may well be comfortable holding hands with other women, but I think that speaks more to the different levels of intimacy that women attach to hand holding compared to men, rather than any guage of homophobia.
 
If the whole idea of letting people be who they are sexually is not to judge anyone, why is it homophobic to say that finding the idea of holding hands with another, in my case, male friend is frankly repellant?
 
I once had to hold a male friend (actually I was almost carrying him) out of old Comiskey Park after a White Sox game because he was extremely drunk. Lots of other drunk strangers made homophobic remarks to us, does that count?
 
I'm married, so I'd only hold hands with my wife. If I was gay, I'd hold hands with my partner in public, but I'm not, so I won't.

While I am not against PDA, I haven't really liked holding hands with past girlfriends/my wife. That didn't come out right. Anyway, I prefer arms around to holding hands.
 
Shaun from Scotland said:
If the whole idea of letting people be who they are sexually is not to judge anyone, why is it homophobic to say that finding the idea of holding hands with another, in my case, male friend is frankly repellant?

Why do you think it's "repellant"?
 
Shaun from Scotland said:
If the whole idea of letting people be who they are sexually is not to judge anyone, why is it homophobic to say that finding the idea of holding hands with another, in my case, male friend is frankly repellant?

I don't think that can be called homophobic as long as you confine that opinion to yourself:

So I would say the statement "I find the thought of me holding hands with another man repellent because I associate holding hands with sex" isn't homophobic.

However to say "I find the thought of a man holding hands with another man repellent because I associate holding hands with sex" is homophobic.
 

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