• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Positive outlook in life...

Azure

Master Poster
A
Joined
Jun 30, 2006
Messages
2,536
All to often we get caught up in the 'doom' and 'gloom' version of reality, that we ignore the more positive meaning in our life.

Recently I had a run in with a distant family member who had been caught up in all sorts of nonsense. Conspiracy theories, religious prophecy, you name it, and he could write you a book about it.

Naturally, such people are often very negative about life, about the future, and how things happen these days. And because of that, he would have a 'down in the dumps' attitude most every time I saw him. Now, on a good day I can take such people in stride, most days actually, because they provide some sort of comic relief for me. But I think there comes a point where one must influence their life with positive meaning, not with the negative junk we can find out the internet.

I don't have kids yet, but I plan on getting married one day and starting a family. I would rather my kids grow up with a positive outlook on life and their surroundings, rather then deal with the 'doom' and 'gloom' theories their whole life.

Thoughts?
 
A positive outlook is better, a lot of the bad things people worry about never happen.

Yes, there is the big one, death, but everyone has to handle that their own way.

A positive lookup is definiately the way to go.
 
Definitely. Attitude can be very important.

Only my opinion, mind you, but I do truly believe that having a positive attitude can make a difference. The way I used to explain it, was basically that there's nothing "woo-woo" about it - if you don't THINK things are going to work out, you may sabotage your efforts in some very concrete ways. For instance, if you're convinced you're terrible at math. You won't finish all that homework when you should have, you won't spend enough time studying, you won't ask for extra help. So, when you get that C- on the test, you go "See, told you I can't do this".

At times, I also think we spend too much time focusing on the negatives - on what we don't have. I try and recount all the blessings that I do have. I have a great life - a good job, a loving significant other, a warm dry house, food to eat, good health, etc.
 
Smart_Cookie said:
At times, I also think we spend too much time focusing on the negatives - on what we don't have. I try and recount all the blessings that I do have. I have a great life - a good job, a loving significant other, a warm dry house, food to eat, good health, etc.
Click to expand...

And in the end, that is all what really counts.

Good post, BTW. :)
 
Azure said:
I don't have kids yet, but I plan on getting married one day and starting a family. I would rather my kids grow up with a positive outlook on life and their surroundings, rather then deal with the 'doom' and 'gloom' theories their whole life.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

You think you're depressed now? Just wait til you have kids. :D

What's gloom and doom about reality? Life is what you make it. Several years ago, I was unemployed.. unemployed for a long time. Life was rough for our family. At the same time, my wife was in a very good paying job and our only income. But, not only was it a horrible job, the stress of it was causing her to be physically ill. When she asked what she should do, I didn't even hesitate - quit! Life is more than jobs and money.

In the end, she was able to find a better job (but less paying) within 3 days of quitting, and I... swallowed my pride and took -ANY- kind of paying job (security guard, actually, did it for a year).

We both look back to that moment as a defining point in our marriage. We supported each other no matter what when the situation could have just as easily killed our marriage.

Life is what you make it.
 
My great battle is not with gloom and doom, but with not feeling.
(tiny violins up) :)
A few years ago my wife was getting more and more sick, and spent weeks in a hospital with pneumonia. Turns out she has a heart condition they are still not sure the cause. She had open heart surgery to find out what was going on, and they blew it and looked in the wrong place. (ask me about doctors sometime) We were not really up for it when they asked for another try. anyway - Hypertrophicardiomyopathy. Spelling probably wrong.

For a time they strongly felt it was hereditary, which meant my kids might have it too. This was not gloomy as much as sort of like dying inside. I know that for a long time I felt guilty that I could not overcome my feelings by thinking more positively. Why wasn't looking forward to all of us singing songs together in heaven enough? Surely God would not send something I could not bear, etc etc. So anyway, the way I felt was my fault.

I gradually lost the guilt but also lost my faith. In hindsight I was pretty depressed and nobody noticed including me, my response as a good person was supposed to be to give more to others and that would make me happy again. Things would be well.

I survived, and things got better by being sort of balanced (I like to describe it as 'transparent', in that things flow around and through without harming). To be positive, but not wildly so, to avoid the negative except when practical.

So I see a certain danger (at least to me) in being too positive - a happy fluffy view of life or death or eternity is like being swept away by the wind. To be too negative is to be sucked into an abyss or shattered. I can't say if this is true for others though.

My view is that 'being positive' is good, but sail the winds rather than be carried away by them, be grounded rather than dragged down by what life can bring. Be still and let some things pass through and around you without harm, but do not become so unfeeling that humanity is lost. Nurture things if you can. (I agree, this is harder on the Internet than other places.) :)
 
DangerousBeliefs said:
You think you're depressed now? Just wait til you have kids. :D

What's gloom and doom about reality? Life is what you make it. Several years ago, I was unemployed.. unemployed for a long time. Life was rough for our family. At the same time, my wife was in a very good paying job and our only income. But, not only was it a horrible job, the stress of it was causing her to be physically ill. When she asked what she should do, I didn't even hesitate - quit! Life is more than jobs and money.

In the end, she was able to find a better job (but less paying) within 3 days of quitting, and I... swallowed my pride and took -ANY- kind of paying job (security guard, actually, did it for a year).

We both look back to that moment as a defining point in our marriage. We supported each other no matter what when the situation could have just as easily killed our marriage.

Life is what you make it.
Click to expand...

Great example of how looking towards the positives in life will help you get a better outcome.

Can you imagine what life would be like if you constantly took yourself down into the trenches, feeling sorry for yourself, instead of working through it and coming out on the other end in better shape?

I don't find reality to be doom and gloom, I find it a challenge, especially in my life, and I find it interesting. Plus, going through the tough times only makes me stronger as a person.
 
Azure said:
All to often we get caught up in the 'doom' and 'gloom' version of reality, that we ignore the more positive meaning in our life.

Recently I had a run in with a distant family member who had been caught up in all sorts of nonsense. Conspiracy theories, religious prophecy, you name it, and he could write you a book about it.

Naturally, such people are often very negative about life, about the future, and how things happen these days. And because of that, he would have a 'down in the dumps' attitude most every time I saw him. Now, on a good day I can take such people in stride, most days actually, because they provide some sort of comic relief for me. But I think there comes a point where one must influence their life with positive meaning, not with the negative junk we can find out the internet.

I don't have kids yet, but I plan on getting married one day and starting a family. I would rather my kids grow up with a positive outlook on life and their surroundings, rather then deal with the 'doom' and 'gloom' theories their whole life.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

You can't determine your child's destiny, you can only guide them and hope they take the right path. Your guidance though is of the utmost importance.

I know and have known people like you describe. They aren't fun to be around because they are worried about everything. lets just live life and not worry about every single media scare, please. We are all going to die one day the best we can do is make the most out of the life we have.
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]([/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica]words and music by Eric Idle)[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life... [/FONT]
​
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life... [/FONT]
​
 
There is nothing wrong with being optimistic! Of coarse we are surrounded with so much one-sided negativity, its easy to get cynical. However, I'm sure there is a delicate way to deliver things like "conserve because water, oil, and land won't be around forever," stuff like that.

I wouldn't want to grow thinking that the world is as horrible as the media portrays it, but I also wouldn't want to grow up delusionally optimistic and utterly disappointed when I find out that life isn't always coming up roses.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom