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Pope Poem

Dr Adequate

Banned
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Joined
Aug 31, 2004
Messages
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Once more I have waxed my lyre. Once more my verses greet your glad ears. This time, I sing of one who ascended from the Hitler Youth to the Holy See --- Pope Benedict XVI (ne Ratzinger). In fairness to the new Pope, membership in the Hitler Youth was, apparently, compulsory for young Germans. And he claims to have been "unenthusiastic" about it. Still, it's a remarkable transition --- from Heil Hitler to Hail Mary, you might say. Anyway, enough of the bad jokes about resemblances between the Nazi Party and the Catholic Church, and on with the... oh... right.


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                        [b]Apologia[/b]

        So the Cardinals debated
        over who should be instated,
and then after some discussion, here’s the gist of what they said:
        You may find it unexpected,
        but the guy that we’ve selected
is an aging European... male gender... wearing red.

        And although the good [i]Herr[/i] Ratzi-
        nger was once a little Nazi,
we were guided by the Spirit and we're sure we’ve got it right.
        Was electing him a loose step?
        No, we're sure the Church will goosestep
in line with its new [i]Führer[/i] to a future that is bright:

        for it wasn't --- let's be clear ---
        little Ratzinger's idea
to team up with the Nazis, only [i]Deutschland[/i] was his home.
        But his heart just wasn't in it,
        and if you can spare a minute
I’ll explain to you how very far the Fascists were from Rome.

        [i]They[/i] were authoritari-
        an. Well Jesus, Joseph, Mary!
I think it’s very obvious the Church is not the same.
        No [i]Führerprinzip[/i] for us ---
        no, that kind of thing would bore us ---
as the Pope will tell the rallies where the faithful chant his name.

        As for "[i]Kinder, Kirche, Küche[/i]"
        I don’t know what silly ******
gave [i]Herr[/i] Hitler that idea, but I think the man was ill.
        [i]We[/i] say: let the 'girls' aspire
        to whatever they desire ---
with just a few exceptions, like the priesthood and the Pill.

        Fascists stifled all dissention
        while the Church, as I might mention
has never done that sort of thing --- not often, any rate.
        Did you mention Galileo?
        Things have changed a bit today. Oh,
on questions of astronomy we welcome free debate ---
        I’m surprised you didn't hear
        it was just the other year
we said "Sorry, Galileo" just five hundred years too late.

        Then the Nazi’s stomach-turning,
        shocking habit of book-burning
is something that we Catholics would never do (again).
        What’s the point in it precisely
        when the [i]authors[/i] burn so nicely?
You needn't end up burning books if first you burn the men.
        (That's how we treated... you know...
        whosit... Giordano Bruno...
and he really hasn’t bothered us since then.)

        Then of course the Nazis perse-
        cuted Semites without mercy,
whereas (several years later) [i]we[/i] said "Goodness! what a shame!
        it was dreadful how they acted!"
        (and we hoped you were distracted
from the centuries and centuries when we did much the same)
        for most Cardinals would bridle
        at the label "genocidal" ---
we'll say anything but sorry, we'll take anything but blame.

        Sure, the Church collaborated,
        but the accusation's dated:
it’s been more than fifty years since we got mixed up with that.
        So let's have no more confusion:
        we're a [i]different[/i] institution,
we've got [i]different[/i] right wing values --- [i]and a different sort of hat[/i].


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I give it less than a month before you receive this in an bulk e-mail from someone who doesn't know you wrote it.
 
I know a few sick poems about the pope that relations of mine in the orange lodge sing :

Oh the pope pope pope had a pimple on his arse and it nipped nipped nipped so sore. He took it to king Billy and he rubbed it with a lily and it nipped nipped nipped no more.

Oh mind the on day, the on bonnie bonnie day the pope was in the water , a pail of ◊◊◊◊◊ came oe'r the dike and hit him on the napper.

Oh the pope he swore his arse was sore, come out ya cu** or I'll blind you.
 
Has anyone forwarded this poem by e-mail yet? And would you have any objection Dr A if anyone did?

I think it is so good it should be shared.
 
I confess I didn't think to ask. I've already sent it to a couple of friends.

I think that smiley should be added to the JREF zoo as well.
 
Ashles said:
Has anyone forwarded this poem by e-mail yet? And would you have any objection Dr A if anyone did?

I think it is so good it should be shared.
Click to expand...
Feel free --- I love a large audience. Please credit "Dr Adequate, JREF Forums".

I bet Mercutio would like to read it as well.
 
I think you mean the Marquis de Carabas who is temping for Merc. I'll show it to him. It will set the record for how many nominations one person makes in a month.
 
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