Poke The Mullahs With The Soft Cushions

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Security Council Pressures Tehran
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Iran Is Urged to Halt Uranium Enrichment

By Colum Lynch
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, March 30, 2006; Page A01

UNITED NATIONS, March 29 -- The Security Council called on Iran Wednesday to suspend its uranium enrichment program within 30 days, ending three weeks of deadlock between Western powers and Russia and China over how to pressure Tehran to prove its nuclear efforts are not aimed at making weapons.

The 15-member council unanimously adopted a nonbinding statement on Iran after the United States and five other key countries finished difficult negotiations on its wording. The statement does not commit the United Nations to action against Iran and was written to avoid language that might clearly set the stage for sanctions or subsequent military moves -- the sort of direct pressure that Russia and China have declined to support.
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It took three weeks for them to agree to ask Iran to temporarily stop their nuclear development a month from now or else there will be no consequences.

The mullahs are doubtless soiling their robes.

[python]
Ximinez: Now, old woman -- you are accused of heresy on three counts -- heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action -- *four* counts. Do you confess?
Wilde: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!

[JARRING CHORD]
[Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions]
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Wilde: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
[Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture]
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
[JARRING CHORD]
[Zoom into Fang's horrified face]
Fang [terrified]: The...Comfy Chair?
[Biggles pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one]
Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
[They roughly push her into the Comfy Chair]
Ximinez [with a cruel leer]: Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. [aside, to Biggles] Is that really all it is?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess
Biggles: I confess!
Ximinez: Not you!
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[/python]
 
It's a cunning plan. The idea is to make the Mullahs choke to death from laughter a they hear about it.
 
I'm still waiting for evidence that 1) Iran is trying to make a bomb, 2) Iran can make a bomb, 3) Iran can make a whole load of bombs within a short amount of time, 4) Iran has the capability for these bombs to be fired at the United States since we're whining the loudest about this, 5) Iran is going to use these bombs and have some capability to defend themselves instead of just using them to keep us at a distance, 6)......

And so on. This is all so much crap.
 
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=1787330

Iran Envoy Rejects Security Council Demand

BERLIN Mar 30, 2006 (AP)— A top Iranian envoy defiantly rejected a U.N. Security Council demand for a halt in uranium enrichment, saying Thursday that Tehran's activities are "not reversible," despite new calls to reconsider from the United States, its key European allies, Russia and China.

Ali Asghar Soltanieh, Tehran's chief representative to the International Atomic Energy Agency, the U.N. nuclear watchdog, said "it is impossible to go back to suspension.

"This enrichment matter is not reversible," he said in a telephone call from Vienna, Austria.
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Well, what next?
 
Zbu said:
I'm still waiting for evidence that 1) Iran is trying to make a bomb, 2) Iran can make a bomb, 3) Iran can make a whole load of bombs within a short amount of time, 4) Iran has the capability for these bombs to be fired at the United States since we're whining the loudest about this, 5) Iran is going to use these bombs and have some capability to defend themselves instead of just using them to keep us at a distance, 6)......

And so on. This is all so much crap.
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Enjoy your waiting. I'm not willing to wait around for all that when a country is run by Islamic fundamentalists who call us the Great Satan and promise to wipe Israel off the map. I might have some sympathy if there were a real shortage of resources for power generation -- I firmly believe that material welfare for common people makes for a better world -- but a country which flares a third of its natural gas just isn't telling the truth when they say they need nuclear power for peaceful purposes.
 
Zbu said:
I'm still waiting for evidence that 1) Iran is trying to make a bomb, 2) Iran can make a bomb, 3) Iran can make a whole load of bombs within a short amount of time, 4) Iran has the capability for these bombs to be fired at the United States since we're whining the loudest about this, 5) Iran is going to use these bombs and have some capability to defend themselves instead of just using them to keep us at a distance, 6)......

And so on. This is all so much crap.
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As I asked the creationist (with regard to evolution) recently, "What evidence would it take to convince you?"
 
It's all the diplomatic foreplay leading up to something more stupendous and nasty, I expect. If anyone objects later, they can point back at this paper trail and say: "Well, we tried asking them nicely, but..."
 
An old roommate of mine once described the typical UN response to something as akin to a policeman saying "STOP! Or I shall say STOP again!"

On the other hand, in many situations there is one nation on the Security Council that is blocking serious action. I hold out hope that NOBODY wants Iran to have nukes, not even China. If that's true, something more substantial could come.l
 
Nick Bogaerts said:
What then do you suggest, given how succesful you are in Iraq, a country a quarter the size of Iran?
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Iraq's only a problem because we are trying to turn it into a peaceful democratic country.

As far as Iran is concerned, there need be no such considerations. We can completely destroy any ability they have to make a firecracker, let alone a nuke. And we can do it w/o any occupation whatsoever. At most, it would require quick strike by special forces to destroy any deeply buried nuke sites.

Oh, it would piss off the UN no doubt...
 
Zbu said:
I'm still waiting for evidence that 1) Iran is trying to make a bomb,
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Localised uranium enrichments makes no sense otherwise since they could simply buy it off the russians

2) Iran can make a bomb,
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Any industrialised nation of any siginificance could.

3) Iran can make a whole load of bombs within a short amount of time,
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They don't need need to.

4) Iran has the capability for these bombs to be fired at the United States since we're whining the loudest about this,
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They have ships and they have the money to buy missiel technology form North Korea.

5) Iran is going to use these bombs and have some capability to defend themselves instead of just using them to keep us at a distance.
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Statement by the mullahs that they want to nuke israel.
 
geni said:
Doubtful. Can you name any country of significance that likes Iran?
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I can't name any country of significance that likes Palestine either, but look at the grief Israel sometimes gets for doing far less than what I'm suggesting.
 
WildCat said:
I can't name any country of significance that likes Palestine either, but look at the grief Israel sometimes gets for doing far less than what I'm suggesting.
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The stakes in Palistine are much lower. Iran with nukes is a major dirrect threat to everyone. A palistine with a few more rockets is only a threat to isreal and perhaps Jordan.
 
manny said:
...but a country which flares a third of its natural gas just isn't telling the truth when they say they need nuclear power for peaceful purposes.
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A country that flares a third of its natural gas and has the worlds largest reserve of natural gas.
 
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