Psychic can turn over a dollar
By Jennifer Smith
Kelowna Capital News
Published: August 12, 2010 6:00 PM
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Last Friday night, in an ill-fated attempt to seek out some kitschy American humour, I took a friend to psychic-to-the-stars Sylvia Browne.
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Now to be fair, as I walked into Sylvia Brown’s show, I didn’t know much about psychics or Sylvia, but I didn’t really have anything against checking it all out. As any good newspaper reporter will tell you, intuition is really your best friend in our business and I’m a pretty firm believer a little sixth sense can help anyone one of us out.
But not five minutes into the show, I have to say that sixth sense, intuitive nature of mine was screaming: Wow. Not good. This lady’s bunk isn’t helping anyone out.
For starters, those who weren’t sitting in comp’ed seats, I learned, had to spend $100 plus for the privilege of listening to this self-ingratiating narcissists sales pitch about.
In addition to the pricey ticket, the audience was offered discounts on personal readings—at $600 a pop.
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Sylvia advises people to cast out negative spirits and—hang on you tie-dyed vegans—prescribes a dietary regimen of straight meat.
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No doubt to the relief (or demands) of her lawyers, she repeatedly makes reference to her annual medical check ups and tells everyone a real psychic should be able to advise you on how to avoid the problems he or she foresees in your future. She once kicked over another psychic’s table, she tells the audience, casting herself as the good guy trying to bust up what the quacks are all on about.
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Then as the talk drew to a close, the audience began to line up.
With tears in their eyes, people began the process of asking one question, any questions, just as long as it didn’t require a full reading.
Sylvia tells people whether their dead wives and husbands are doing OK on the other side and told one girl her chronic health problems are to do with her thyroid.
An academic study, incidentally, has shown her predictions are not accurate, and yet, in this audience there was a woman plenty willing to publicly demand to know what the difficulty in her love life is all about.
So what happens in two years when the poor girl whose dated “every a**h**e on earth” figures out she’s not getting married in two years time? Fans of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker might know.
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But,
if you’re looking for one very sad carnival display, there’s a woman with 58 books to her name whose plenty willing to take your money.
If there’s one thing Sylvia Browne seems to know intuitively, it’s how to turn other people’s problems into a superstar cashflow.
