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Older virgins outcasted?

workout_girl

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"It was once a badge of honor. But to the surprising number of adult women today who have not had sex, virginity is nothing but a curse

When Amanda was 26 years old she found herself in a familiar but awkward situation: She was still a virgin and the guy she had been dating for three months didn't know it. She wasn't ready to sleep with him yet, but she was close, real close. One night they were at his house, making out on the couch, when he asked her, "When's the last time you had sex?" The question was blunt and unexpected. She didn't know how to answer, and she didn't really want to. "One year? Two years?" She didn't respond. "Don't tell me you're a virgin?" he blurted as he abruptly pulled away. "No offense, but most people do that in high school," he told her. He acted like a victim, she says four years later, telling her that none of his friends would ever sleep with a virgin, that he'd already slept with two and would never do it again. About a week later they went to the movies together, and afterward, he walked her to the car. She leaned in to kiss him and he backed away, "like I was some disgusting object."

"It made me scared to date, scared to talk to guys. It was like, 'Oh my God, they're all going to do this,'" she says. She still tried, occasionally, and after about a year she met another guy, someone else from work. But then he also didn't know she was a virgin, and one night when they were practically naked together in bed it happened again, almost in the exact same way. He asked her about former lovers, and while she laughs nervously now as she retells the story, it wasn't funny then. It reminded her of the last time and she started to cry. But this guy was actually nice about it, telling her things like "That guy was such an *******" and "You should say you just haven't found the right guy; be more self-confident." It made her feel better, and when he left he said he'd call her the next day. But he didn't call until the following week and things went downhill from there. "He never really said it was because I was a virgin," Amanda says. "But that was the point when everything shifted."
 
For FSM's sake, somebody introduce that woman to some feminists. Or at least tell her that lots of men drop a woman after the first date and it's nothing to do with her lack of experience.
 
workout_girl said:
"It was once a badge of honor. But to the surprising number of adult women today who have not had sex, virginity is nothing but a curse

When Amanda was 26 years old she found herself in a familiar but awkward situation: She was still a virgin and the guy she had been dating for three months didn't know it. She wasn't ready to sleep with him yet, but she was close, real close. One night they were at his house, making out on the couch, when he asked her, "When's the last time you had sex?" The question was blunt and unexpected. She didn't know how to answer, and she didn't really want to. "One year? Two years?" She didn't respond. "Don't tell me you're a virgin?" he blurted as he abruptly pulled away. "No offense, but most people do that in high school," he told her. He acted like a victim, she says four years later, telling her that none of his friends would ever sleep with a virgin, that he'd already slept with two and would never do it again. About a week later they went to the movies together, and afterward, he walked her to the car. She leaned in to kiss him and he backed away, "like I was some disgusting object."

"It made me scared to date, scared to talk to guys. It was like, 'Oh my God, they're all going to do this,'" she says. She still tried, occasionally, and after about a year she met another guy, someone else from work. But then he also didn't know she was a virgin, and one night when they were practically naked together in bed it happened again, almost in the exact same way. He asked her about former lovers, and while she laughs nervously now as she retells the story, it wasn't funny then. It reminded her of the last time and she started to cry. But this guy was actually nice about it, telling her things like "That guy was such an *******" and "You should say you just haven't found the right guy; be more self-confident." It made her feel better, and when he left he said he'd call her the next day. But he didn't call until the following week and things went downhill from there. "He never really said it was because I was a virgin," Amanda says. "But that was the point when everything shifted."
Click to expand...

LOL!

This is comical. Where do they gets stuff like this?

Used to be "scoring" a virgin was a biiiiig deal for guys. I guess the feminization of our culture is complete!

Now guys "pull away in disgust" from a virgin? I guess that leaves more for the Islamofascist fanatics, huh?

Tokie
 
Tokenconservative said:
LOL!

This is comical. Where do they gets stuff like this?

Used to be "scoring" a virgin was a biiiiig deal for guys. I guess the feminization of our culture is complete!

Now guys "pull away in disgust" from a virgin? I guess that leaves more for the Islamofascist fanatics, huh?

Tokie
Click to expand...
Let us know when this ever happens for you, big guy!
 
What has this made up story got to do with anything? Is it supposed to reflect reality? Because I don't think it does.
 
Since I don't have 15 post, , I couldn't post the link, but it does seem that if you are a virgin in your 20's or 30's people think you are some sort of freak.
 
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Tokenconservative said:
LOL!

This is comical. Where do they gets stuff like this?

Used to be "scoring" a virgin was a biiiiig deal for guys. I guess the feminization of our culture is complete!

Now guys "pull away in disgust" from a virgin? I guess that leaves more for the Islamofascist fanatics, huh?

Tokie
Click to expand...

Token, might I comment on how you are the perfect example of a perfect parody of the extreme American neoconservative? Good job, my man. You're not as good as Stephen Colbert, but you're getting there!

workout girl said:
"It was once a badge of honor. But to the surprising number of adult women today who have not had sex, virginity is nothing but a curse

When Amanda was 26 years old she found herself in a familiar but awkward situation: She was still a virgin and the guy she had been dating for three months didn't know it. She wasn't ready to sleep with him yet, but she was close, real close. One night they were at his house, making out on the couch, when he asked her, "When's the last time you had sex?" The question was blunt and unexpected. She didn't know how to answer, and she didn't really want to. "One year? Two years?" She didn't respond. "Don't tell me you're a virgin?" he blurted as he abruptly pulled away. "No offense, but most people do that in high school," he told her. He acted like a victim, she says four years later, telling her that none of his friends would ever sleep with a virgin, that he'd already slept with two and would never do it again. About a week later they went to the movies together, and afterward, he walked her to the car. She leaned in to kiss him and he backed away, "like I was some disgusting object."

"It made me scared to date, scared to talk to guys. It was like, 'Oh my God, they're all going to do this,'" she says. She still tried, occasionally, and after about a year she met another guy, someone else from work. But then he also didn't know she was a virgin, and one night when they were practically naked together in bed it happened again, almost in the exact same way. He asked her about former lovers, and while she laughs nervously now as she retells the story, it wasn't funny then. It reminded her of the last time and she started to cry. But this guy was actually nice about it, telling her things like "That guy was such an *******" and "You should say you just haven't found the right guy; be more self-confident." It made her feel better, and when he left he said he'd call her the next day. But he didn't call until the following week and things went downhill from there. "He never really said it was because I was a virgin," Amanda says. "But that was the point when everything shifted."
Click to expand...
Okay, workout girl...

1) Please demonstrate where you got this article from.

2) This is an anecdotal account, and I hope you realize this. There is nothing that can be verified from this one story alone, even if it actually happened. It's meaningless for getting an accurate view of actual trends of the state of things today.

3) If you can, insert an URL by typing in the URL with spaces and no slashes (or just remove one of the slashes and insert a space or another character).
 
You're confusing "Assuming something is prevalent and widespread" with "assuming a story is made up".

Like I said, even if her story is 100% truthful, it isn't a sign of anything at all. If I say that I ran into a racist in Denmark, that doesn't make Denmark racist, nor even make Denmark high in overall racism.
 
Why should everybody have to know that you've never had a tadger inside your morris? It's your business and nobody else's concern. Also, you can be sure that people almost invariably lie about how much sex they have - it's something that can't be checked up on. So never believe any surveys that tell you that everyone else is at it like rabbits.
This woman's problem isn't her virginity - it's a) the fact that she's 26 and only ever had two dates; and b) the fact that she considers that a date automatically means sex.
She badly needs to boost her self-esteem and self-confidence and stop obssessing about never having done a certain physical manoeuvre with a male person. Above all, she should stop seeing men as just penises on legs. A man is more than just a body; some of them are actually quite intelligent, friendly and interesting people.
 
Well, it is an interesting snip but I couldn't access the salon article because my browser refuses to have anything to do with virgins.

Seriously though, I can see this being a problem for some guys -- which is probably a blessing in disguise for the subject lady. Just sayin'

There certainly does seem to be a social disconnect with a 25+y/o virgin though, unless they are so grotesque that they are simply undoable. I buy the story as presented. My browser refuses to pay.
 
sophia8 said:
Why should everybody have to know that you've never had a tadger inside your morris? It's your business and nobody else's concern. Also, you can be sure that people almost invariably lie about how much sex they have - it's something that can't be checked up on. So never believe any surveys that tell you that everyone else is at it like rabbits.
This woman's problem isn't her virginity - it's a) the fact that she's 26 and only ever had two dates; and b) the fact that she considers that a date automatically means sex.
She badly needs to boost her self-esteem and self-confidence and stop obssessing about never having done a certain physical manoeuvre with a male person. Above all, she should stop seeing men as just penises on legs. A man is more than just a body; some of them are actually quite intelligent, friendly and interesting people.
Click to expand...

OMG! We've come full circle!
 
workout_girl said:
Since I don't have 15 post, , I couldn't post the link, but it does seem that if you are a virgin in your 20's or 30's people think you are some sort of freak.
Click to expand...

As was shown by the Would You Date A Virgin thread a year ago. A number of people on the forum said no way would that date an older virgin because they must be socialy malajusted and so should be kept away from.

Link
 
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yeah, the story is just that - one person's story. I speaks to common problems with self-esteem and misguided ideas about sexuality. But, I think we're dodging the OPs real point here. I think what the OP is asking is "is there a stigma on being an older than average female virgin?"

I don't know if stigma is the right word, but I know I would feel differently on a date if the woman revealed she was a virgin. Of course, ditto for the same scenario if the woman reveals she's been a hooker for the past 5 years.

I don't know why.. performance anxiety? Worries that she may bring too much emotional baggage into what I was hoping would be more casual (yes, I'm a pig....)?
 
Why don't these women virgins who are worried about their lack of experience just do what all male virgins do on their first time? Lie and pretend they've done it before.
 
Wouldn't some guys figure it out after a while? :O

Besides, I don't think that dishonesty is good for a real relationship. If all you want to do is bag someone for the night, though, or have a **** buddy, go ahead.
 
Well, there are such things as vibrators and such, and it wouldn't seem so difficult or uncommon to 'run the blockade' ahead of time and just plain not mention it. That kind of leads me to believe its more a matter of social (and sexual) ineptness that is holding her back.
 
As noted, the article is either incomplete or the author is not at all good. Either way, all we see is one anecdote - or part of one anecdote. I note, the same source has an article on a person trying to come out as an atheist! Just sayin'.........
 
I sometimes wonder if the about 95% of the world's population are virgins, and the provable 5% that are not are your parents when you walk in on them. After all, you can never deny that..
 
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