Numerology Superior to Astrology

[Foolmewunz]

I was bored one night and wanted to see how general a numerologist's reading would be. Unlike astrologers, who assume they play to a mass market and take no chances, the numerologist I contacted automatically assumes you're a woo from the get go. I submitted proper data for this.

Apparently, I'm a "9" for my "Life Path" number.....

Below are excerpted samples. (It's all like this.) Here's what I learned about myself.

You are a deeply spiritual individual who often displays a deep interest in religion or the occult at a very early age.

HIT. I believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny at a very early age, and went to church a couple of times and temple a few more.

In fact many nines grow up to be psychics, healers, priests and nuns.

HIT: I'm really a nun.

You probably feel responsible for keeping up the morality or spirit of mankind in some way, or even responsible for their very souls.

HIT: (Bolding mine.) I have a soul repository right in the fridge next to the Grolsch.

You are very aware of feeling as insignificant as a grain of sand in the Universe and believe that materialism, prejudice and lust just don't matter in the long run.

MISS: I live for materialism, prejudice, and lust.

You have a charismatic and very open personality that attracts you a lot of friends.

MISSS: Yeah, that's why I'm sitting here on a sunny Sunday afternoon in Hong Kong playing on the web.

Your attitude towards life in general is very selfless and you usually have a good connection with God or a higher power.

50/50: I'm a saint (see also "nun", above), but my ISP provider wants an extra hundred a month for the connection to God. I'd also like them to explain if that's God or an alternate higher power that I believe in, or if that's a higher power than God.

As you are naturally very lonely and insecure, you are particularly vulnerable to joining a cult or becoming fanatical in the religious sense.

HIT: I'm waiting for a deadly comet group to come along; have the kool aid already stocked up.

Although you may feel quite clear about your divine purpose and goals in life, others may perceive you as weird or spacey.

HIT: No argument there!

This is why it is often difficult for a number 9 to keep a job for long.

MISS: Forty years in the same career; 23 in the same company as of this year.

In another section, they recalculate the numbers to come up with my "Soul Urge". This stuff is priceless (not to mention that it contradicts the stuff under "Life Path"):

Your tendency to isolate yourself can also lead to distorted perceptions of reality and cognitive disorders such as obsessive compulsion and paranoia. It is a number 7 who is most likely to develop an obsession with a celebrity or create a conspiracy theory. Those are extreme examples but you need to realize that you are only human and that a lack of human contact and especially affection can distort your personality in unpleasant and unproductive ways.

HIT: (bolding mine).... Hey, I'm a CTer! I love it! (But I'm at least "only human"....)... "distorted perceptions" .... "cognitive disorders"...

As you are not that concerned with sex your libido which is often badly suppressed may also express itself in odd ways.

HIT: What a man and a goat do in the privacy of their own home is no one's business.

 

[Zep]

How much Grolsch is left now?

 

[Foolmewunz]

How much Grolsch is left now?

That would be 5, but I didn't get a reading on what 5 means, so I don't know if I can drink a few, or if I have to go out and buy 2 or 4 more to balance my Grolsch supply with my "Soul Urge" or my "Life Path", respectively.

 

[clarsct]

See, now, rolling a 9 on your Life Path can be good or bad depending on which table....


We were talking about Cyberpunk, right?

 

[Cuddles]

You have a charismatic and very open personality that attracts you a lot of friends.

As you are naturally very lonely and insecure

Genius.

 

[Marc L]

MISS: Forty years in the same career; 23 in the same company as of this year.

You say this like 23 years is supposed to be a long time, or something...

Marc

 

[Ysidro]

See, now, rolling a 9 on your Life Path can be good or bad depending on which table....


We were talking about Cyberpunk, right?

Will you marry me?

And if not can I still play my Solo/Netrunner/Nomad/Medtechie/Fixer?

 

[idunno]

I am a 1,that`s why I am the leader in all forums

 

[Aoidoi]

Man, I'd go for either a 6 or an 8. They're both hot. And what number is Xena? She's pretty cute, if a fair amount older than me.

mmm... Cylons...