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Need some silly "designer" ideas for ID

azazal

Ninja Wave: Techno Ninja
azazal
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
689
Well even with the thorough defeat of ID in Dover, (YEAH!!!!!) you know some ID dolts are bound to come back with the whole it's science not religion argument. So I was hoping to get a list of different designers together to throw at said IDers that is bound to set them off and make them screaming mad enough to say, "IT WAS GOD WHO MADE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH!" Since pretty much every IDer is a fundie as well (a generalization I know, but I think I can get away with it here), if possible counter designers should be anti-fundie in some way. We already have the great spaghetti monster, but I was hoping for some other off the cuff silliness as well.

The off the top of my head list so far:

1. Turns out life on Earth was created by an alien race called the Zantians, seems that BBQ human rind is all the rage across the galaxy, because as every intelligent being knows, deep fried dinosaur is so last week. After all it's fun to munch-a-crunch a human (Futurama)

2. We're a biology experiment for a high school science fair, thought up by a sentient being, used to demonstrate evolution in action.

3. One word - Allah

4. Cthulhu wanted some new, chewy play toys, behold, humans


Well that's what I've got, need to wait for the caffine to kick in before that brain will think of more, any other new designers to add to the list.
 
The only evidence that we have for God having created the universe is the Bible, claimed to be the word of God.

I have it on good authority (from someone who was there at the time) that my friend Pete's last words were "I created the universe, but I made a couple of [Rule 8]-ups." The word of Pete!

So there you have it: there's just as much evidence that Pete created the universe as there is that God created it.
 
I have said this before: Earth was created by hyper-intelligent yaks from Venus. My theory cannot be disproved, therefore I demand that it be taught in science classes.
 
Obviously, monkeys were involved. Else why would they get all the fun? Tree climbing, fruit-and-feces fights, and free lovin'....this universe was clearly designed for monkeys. All hail the Creator Monkey!
 
In all seriousness, it could be argued that the designer was wicked and cruel.

The designer designed the human immune system, but also designed the AIDS virus that defeats it.

The designer designed a pain system that (1) fails to notify the consciousness of some serious injuries, (2) over-emphasizes notice of actual injuries, and (3) often provides false alarms. The cumulative effect is increased suffering.

The designer designed many biological systems in such a way that the systems are prone to multi-mode failure. Some of the systems fail in a fail-unsafe mode.

The designer failed to plan for replacement parts. Knowledge about successful transplants and implants in humans was (and continues to be) acquired at considerable cost. And eventually, of course, every living thing dies.

The designer's reliance upon ion swaps and hormone broadcasts as means for signal transmission is highly inefficient, slow prone to failure and vulnerable to inadvertent interference.

From Joseph Heller's "Catch-22," in which Yossarian engages in a discussion with Lieutenant Schiesskopf's wife:

"Good God, how much reverence can you have for a supreme being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when he robbed old people of their power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?"

"Pain?" Lieutenant Schiesskopf's wife pounced upon the word victoriously. "Pain is a useful symptom. Pain is a warning to us about bodily dangers."

"And who created the dangers?" Yossarian demanded, He laughed caustically. "Oh, He was really being charitable to us when He gave us pain! Why couldn't He have used a doorbell instead to notify us, or one of His celestial choirs? Or a system of blue-and-red neon tubes right in the middle of each person's forehead? Any jukebox manufacturer worth his salt could have done that. Why couldn't He?"

"People would certainly look silly walking around with red neon tubes in the middle of their foreheads."

"They certainly look beautiful now writhing in agony or stupified with morphine, don't they?"
Click to expand...
 
One of my favorite "Far Side" cartoons is titled "God's Kitchen". In the panel it shows god (old bearded dude wearing a toga), cooking up a big earth-like globe in a large pot. On a shelf nearby there are spices labelled "trees", "fishes", "mountains" etc. In god's hand he is shaking a spice bottle onto the globe and remarking "this will make things more interesting"

Charlie (the spice bottle is labelled "Jerks") Monoxide
 
The universe and everything in it including our memories, was created six and a half minutes ago.
 
The only creature on earth with a direct link to God is the duckbill platypus and they are waiting for the rapture because they will get to claim the body of any Christian left behind.

(edited to add) a fun thread Azazel and welcome to the forums. :)
 
Silly humans! Everyone knows the universe was created by the Cosmic AC.

"LET THERE BE LIGHT!"
-Cosmic AC answering the "last question"
 
IDiots and creationists are not rational people, check this out for starters. She actually thinks this will convert the heathen muslims to convert to christianity!

I've also spent the last few weeks arguing w/ them over at hannity.com... it seems to be a hopeless case. No matter how many times you correct their misrepresentations and outright lies about evolution, they just come right back w/ the same nonsense. The bible does, indeed, stop a thinking brain. :boggled:
 
I think we're all overlooking Ed as the designer of the Universe.

I'm not exactly sure how that happened as I haven't yet prayed (i.e., sent a PM) to Ed on the subject (when I do, I think I’ll suggest something like; The Big Bang happened, Ed approved of it retroactively.), but from a theological standpoint Edism is a demonstrably superior faith to other more traditional religions.

1) Belief in Ed doesn’t require faith. Many people communicate with Ed every day, he communicates back, so we know he exists.

2) Unlike other deities, Ed can be seen to answer prayers (otherwise known as e-mails, pms, forum messages, etc.)

3) While Ed might not answer prayers in the “granting wishes” sort of way, the effects are measurably greater than the effects of other religions that do promise the granting of wishes.

4) Ed cares about you. Granted, for some people the Ed care-o-meter might just barely twitch, but it does twitch, and these people for whom it barely twitches tend to be really despicable people anyway.

5) The will of Ed doesn’t need to be interpreted through ancient texts written in some dead language thousands of years ago with generations of commentary, etc. Usually you can just ask him, or figure it out with a forum search.

6) Ed is not a jealous diety (I asked him) so technically belief in him doesn't contradict with other spiritual beliefs people may enjoy.

7) Ed really doesn't want anybody to kill anyone in his name.

I could go on like this forever, but I think you all get the idea.
 
The people you are complaining about believe that an all powerful deity had to send His son, who was actually Him, down to Earth so that the son could die for the weekend. This was to fix a problem that the deity was really mad at people because they had disobeyed him, but if the son became one of the people for a while, but died temporarily, everything would work out ok.

And you want something silly?
 
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