Wat Tyler
Thinker
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2006
- Messages
- 154
OK, so I admit that this will be popular with nobody, but...
The adherents of all three Abrahamic religions each claim Jerusalem as 'their' Holy City, and wish to claim unique ownership of it.
Despite the claims of each of the Religions to be about peace, harmony, universal brotherhood etc, over the last two thousand years each group has shown itself utterly incapable of behaving like civilised adults when it comes to the issue of this city.
My (sophomoric?) solution to this perennial problem is as follows:
1) The freehold ownership of the whole city of Jerusalem to be given over in perpetuity to UN ownership - all current landowners to receive compensation at current market value, and in future to lease-back their property from the UN should they wish to.
2) ALL groups to be allowed to attend the 'Holy Sites' of their sect, and to be allowed to live anywhere in the city as long as they rent their dwellings/place of business from the UN - subject to rules 5) and 6) below.
3) absolutely ALL weapons to be banned from the city of Jerusalem - the only exceptions being those carried by the UN Security Force for Jerusalem - who will be allowed to use Morning Stars, Kukri knives, DU rounds, nerve gas, siberian tigers, rabid wolverines or Colossal Squid to quell any disturbance of the peace, as they see fit.
4) the said Security Force must be seen to be impartial, and therefore may not be made up of recruits from any of the three Abrahamic religions - I suggest the Nepalese Ghurkas; who are not only Buddhists, but are also outstanding soldiers and ferocious warriors.
5) any individual convicted of 'disturbing the peace' of Jerusalem (by rioting etc) to be banned from it for the rest of his or her life - WITH NO EXCEPTIONS, OR TIME REMITTED FROM SENTENCE FOR LATER 'GOOD BEHAVIOUR'. 'Normal' criminal offences (theft, mugging, non-racially motivated murder) will still be tried in a UN civilian criminal court, staffed by Nepalese Judges;
6) any action by any soi-disant 'religious' terrorist group that 'disturbs the peace of Jerusalem' will result in the temporary banning from Jerusalem of its co-religionists -
for one year on the first offence (by any group belonging to that religion); seven years on the second offence (by any group belonging to that religion); forty-nine years on the third offence (by any group belonging to that religion) - you get the picture - the length of the ban escalates by a factor of seven at each offence.
6) should the members of all three religions be barred at any one time, then the whole city is to be comprehensively destroyed, as follows:
first - the city to be thoroughly burnt, and all buildings to be razed to the ground;
second - use of many deliberately-sited buried low-yield nuclear weapons in order to destroy all foundations, sewers etc and render the city uninhabitable;
third - the city to be buried under an enormous quantity of municipal waste, radioactive waste, human sewage and the waste materials from pig slaughterhouses;
fourth - the whole area to be topped-off with a thin layer of inert soil; fifth - the erection of a large physical barrier topped with razorwire and manned by the UN Security Force to prevent access to the site of the former city.
The hotheads among the adherents of these three 'great Religions' have shown themselves incapable of behaving like adults when it comes to Jerusalem - with effects that are 'negatively impactful' on the security of the rest of us.
So; I say that it's time the rest of us start treating them like children - if you behave well and 'play nice' with each other, then everyone's happy - but if you're naughty, we'll take away your 'toy' for good.
The less-flippant idea behind it is that, if everyone understands that NONE of them will ever own the city, or decide who gets to go into it etc, then maybe the pointless fighting over it can stop.
So, apart from the obvious flaw that no-one would ever agree to implement this plan, what else is wrong with it?
Go on - 'Have At' me....
The adherents of all three Abrahamic religions each claim Jerusalem as 'their' Holy City, and wish to claim unique ownership of it.
Despite the claims of each of the Religions to be about peace, harmony, universal brotherhood etc, over the last two thousand years each group has shown itself utterly incapable of behaving like civilised adults when it comes to the issue of this city.
My (sophomoric?) solution to this perennial problem is as follows:
1) The freehold ownership of the whole city of Jerusalem to be given over in perpetuity to UN ownership - all current landowners to receive compensation at current market value, and in future to lease-back their property from the UN should they wish to.
2) ALL groups to be allowed to attend the 'Holy Sites' of their sect, and to be allowed to live anywhere in the city as long as they rent their dwellings/place of business from the UN - subject to rules 5) and 6) below.
3) absolutely ALL weapons to be banned from the city of Jerusalem - the only exceptions being those carried by the UN Security Force for Jerusalem - who will be allowed to use Morning Stars, Kukri knives, DU rounds, nerve gas, siberian tigers, rabid wolverines or Colossal Squid to quell any disturbance of the peace, as they see fit.
4) the said Security Force must be seen to be impartial, and therefore may not be made up of recruits from any of the three Abrahamic religions - I suggest the Nepalese Ghurkas; who are not only Buddhists, but are also outstanding soldiers and ferocious warriors.
5) any individual convicted of 'disturbing the peace' of Jerusalem (by rioting etc) to be banned from it for the rest of his or her life - WITH NO EXCEPTIONS, OR TIME REMITTED FROM SENTENCE FOR LATER 'GOOD BEHAVIOUR'. 'Normal' criminal offences (theft, mugging, non-racially motivated murder) will still be tried in a UN civilian criminal court, staffed by Nepalese Judges;
6) any action by any soi-disant 'religious' terrorist group that 'disturbs the peace of Jerusalem' will result in the temporary banning from Jerusalem of its co-religionists -
for one year on the first offence (by any group belonging to that religion); seven years on the second offence (by any group belonging to that religion); forty-nine years on the third offence (by any group belonging to that religion) - you get the picture - the length of the ban escalates by a factor of seven at each offence.
6) should the members of all three religions be barred at any one time, then the whole city is to be comprehensively destroyed, as follows:
first - the city to be thoroughly burnt, and all buildings to be razed to the ground;
second - use of many deliberately-sited buried low-yield nuclear weapons in order to destroy all foundations, sewers etc and render the city uninhabitable;
third - the city to be buried under an enormous quantity of municipal waste, radioactive waste, human sewage and the waste materials from pig slaughterhouses;
fourth - the whole area to be topped-off with a thin layer of inert soil; fifth - the erection of a large physical barrier topped with razorwire and manned by the UN Security Force to prevent access to the site of the former city.
The hotheads among the adherents of these three 'great Religions' have shown themselves incapable of behaving like adults when it comes to Jerusalem - with effects that are 'negatively impactful' on the security of the rest of us.
So; I say that it's time the rest of us start treating them like children - if you behave well and 'play nice' with each other, then everyone's happy - but if you're naughty, we'll take away your 'toy' for good.
The less-flippant idea behind it is that, if everyone understands that NONE of them will ever own the city, or decide who gets to go into it etc, then maybe the pointless fighting over it can stop.
So, apart from the obvious flaw that no-one would ever agree to implement this plan, what else is wrong with it?
Go on - 'Have At' me....
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