Mean things to do to Christians

[Hexxenhammer]

Here's a funny story from a friend of mine.

My buddy Thor was in an Arby's on lunch break one day. He sat down near a table where 2 big blonde (this is Minnesota) Nordic looking construction worker types were eating. In come a group of well dressed young people. They get some food from the counter and sit at a table near Thor and these 2 Viking looking dudes. The well dressed people proceeded to say grace and thank the Lord for the food they were about to receive. One of the Viking guys whispers to the other "Watch this," and then says loudly to the young Christians in a thick Scandanavian accent, "You there, what are you doing?"
Slightly taken aback, one of them says "We are thanking god for the food he has given us."
The Viking then continued, still with his accent, "Your god is weak. You do not pray for food you provided yourself. Odin is a strong god who does not demand such things. You pray for good rain for your crops. You pray for strength in battle. Odin gives you these things. Your god did not give you that food. Your god is weak." Then they started laughing and went back to their beef n' cheddars.

 

[TwoShanks]

When they knock on your door, open it up wearing a bloody apron and holding a cleaver then deliberately simulate a facial twitch and invite them in, making a chopping motion all the while and asking them if they know the best way to perform a black mass, and trying subtly to find out if they are virgins.

Or... When they knock on your door, invite them in and trap them in a fiendishly complex maze of bizarre effects and speak menacingly from time to time through concealed loudspeakers. Try to get them to either kill each other on your secret orders or believe that you are their God testing them. Then drug them, steal a kidney from each and put them into their own beds at home (packed in ice). Feign ignorance if they come back to your house in search of god.

Or... Pull the fish logo off a car and leave it on the ground, then when the owner returns and bends down to pick it up, run up behind them and sharply jab the kidney area with a stick, then run away tittering.

 

[Roadtoad]

You'd be better off playing "Hotel California" at full crank on your stereo.

 

[TwoShanks]

Bob wins.

<from www.angryflower.com>

 

[Yahweh]

Although I wouldnt do it myself, very funny story.

 

[the_ignored]

Oh Bah! Who says science and religion can't get along?

 

[Hexxenhammer]

Although I wouldnt do it myself, very funny story.

Holy hell no, I couldn't do anything like that myself either. Unless someone's being totally obnoxious about their faith, I tend to leave it alone.
That is until they inevitably ask me if I believe in god. I cringe, because I know what I'm going to hear next, and say, "No, actually I don't."
I then get one of the following replies:
"I'm sorry."
"I'll pray for you."
"Why not?"
"But Jesus died for your sins."
etc etc...

And I'm too polite (mostly) to say what I want to say:
"No, I feel sorry for YOU!"
"Please don't. Satan doesn't like it."
"'Cause I have brain."
"I don't remember asking anyone to crucify a Jewish carpenter for me."

 

[Roadtoad]

Holy hell no, I couldn't do anything like that myself either. Unless someone's being totally obnoxious about their faith, I tend to leave it alone.
That is until they inevitably ask me if I believe in god. I cringe, because I know what I'm going to hear next, and say, "No, actually I don't."
I then get one of the following replies:
"I'm sorry."
"I'll pray for you."
"Why not?"
"But Jesus died for your sins."
etc etc...

And I'm too polite (mostly) to say what I want to say:
"No, I feel sorry for YOU!"
"Please don't. Satan doesn't like it."
"'Cause I have brain."
"I don't remember asking anyone to crucify a Jewish carpenter for me."

Uh, Hammer, why DON'T you start speaking up? Why is their rudeness okay, but your right to simply be left alone not okay?

Sorry, Dude, but as a Christian, I find their behavior out of line. Further, if they were going to pray for you, they wouldn't sit around talking about it, they'd just go home and do it. All this chatter about "praying for you" is just to make themselves feel better. You don't need it.

 

[evildave]

The "meanest" thing you can do is talk to certain among them about their faith at all. The first hint of disagreement, and they become insanely angry.

The first hint of casting their religion or faith in an unpleasant light, and their volume level goes up four notches. Make a strong point, and they go off like a volcano.

It's not really matching rudeness. It's like provoking a total psychopath. He's already got a nice, heavy book to beat on you with. Can you really predict how someone who's so lost on the Jesus thing they believe they should accost strangers will behave after they melt down?

 

[Hexxenhammer]

Uh, Hammer, why DON'T you start speaking up? Why is their rudeness okay, but your right to simply be left alone not okay?

Toad, you are one cool guy.

In my experience it's pointless to argue with freaky religous or fundamentalist types. They hear what you're saying, they just don't listen, there's no changing their mind. But you're right, maybe the best defense is to not take the bait. "I don't talk about my religious beliefs," might be a better answer.

Of course, I've known a couple fundamentalist types who were actuallly more interested in debate and ideas than trying to save my soul. I like those people. They're smart, they might come around to more rational ideas some day. They probably think the same of me.

 

[Roadtoad]

In my experience it's pointless to argue with freaky religous or fundamentalist types. They hear what you're saying, they just don't listen, there's no changing their mind. But you're right, maybe the best defense is to not take the bait. "I don't talk about my religious beliefs," might be a better answer.

You might be right, but too many of those folks, including some ex-pastors of mine, grooved on FORCING you to confront "the issue." The reality is that for so many people, this really isn't an issue at all. And forcing people to discuss something that really isn't any of your business in not only rude and insulting, but it doesn't accomplish the claimed goal in the first place. It's a show, nothing more. It's pharisaical in the extreme.

The only way you convince anyone to listen to you about your faith is to live it first, and give someone a chance to see what it's about.

That's genuine evangelism. Nothing else qualifies.

 

[Roadtoad]

The "meanest" thing you can do is talk to certain among them about their faith at all. The first hint of disagreement, and they become insanely angry.

The first hint of casting their religion or faith in an unpleasant light, and their volume level goes up four notches. Make a strong point, and they go off like a volcano.

It's not really matching rudeness. It's like provoking a total psychopath. He's already got a nice, heavy book to beat on you with. Can you really predict how someone who's so lost on the Jesus thing they believe they should accost strangers will behave after they melt down?

I knew there was a reason I liked you, EvilDave.

Dammit, and now you've got me wanting a taco...

 

[Hexxenhammer]

The only way you convince anyone to listen to you about your faith is to live it first, and give someone a chance to see what it's about.

That's genuine evangelism. Nothing else qualifies.

AMEN BROTHER!

 

[TexasBEAST]

Some Jehovah's Witnesses ladies came to my door last week. I told them we were a family of born-again Atheists, and we all carry guns. They went away quietly.

 

[Roadtoad]

Some Jehovah's Witnesses ladies came to my door last week. I told them we were a family of born-again Atheists, and we all carry guns. They went away quietly.

You just reminded me of an incident from years and years ago....

My Father-in-law had a log cabin near Auburn, CA. My wife and kids and I were visiting, and after a while, Bill and I were out front splitting logs for the woodstove.

Things were going pretty good, when an absolutely cherry 1973 Cuda came rolling up to the house, and out hopped three JWs. "Sir," they began, "We'd like to talk to you about Eternity."

Oh, God, I thought, these clowns are going to be here forever...!

"Well, I think you're wasting your time," Bill explained. "My daughter and I are Baptists, my wife is a Mormon, my son-in-law here is an Episcopal lay minister, so I suggest you hop back in your car and leave."

"Well, you know, that's interesting that you mention so many different religions..." the head honcho began.

I had a splitting maul in my hands, about 12 lbs. weight. I started for that beautiful Cuda....

"He said we weren't interested..."

They left cloud of dust going down the dirt road to Auburn-Folsom Road.

Good thing, too. I'd have hated to scratch that Cuda...