March Stundie Award Finals

[Travis]

So yesterday I figured out why no one was responding to the March Stundie Finals thread. It didn't exist yet!

Boy am I embarrassed. <--indicates the emotion

Now please be kind I have been spending most of the last few weeks in an antihistamine fog.

So here we go. First our February winner!

"The photographic evidence can be forged. The written word, once recorded, cannot."
​

YAY!

Here are your March finalists. Took me two whole days of work this time around to get this narrowed down. So good luck voting.

1) Derisive names are now true? Boy I'm sure glad I learned of Sally Bower: Queen Ultra Slut in that toilet stall. It's always helpful to know who the nobility are.

Furthermore, it could serve as the starting point for New York State to dispatch CPS workers to the homes of all of Finn's clients, where their children might be kidnapped by CPS and sold into sex slavery (this is a common behavior of CPS workers across the country, where low-income children simply "disappear" into the system and suffer ongoing sexual abuse by state workers or even high-paying clients, similar to what happened at Penn State). I don't have the space to go into all the evidence that CPS functions as a child kidnapping and sex slavery ring, but the organization isn't called "Communist Pedophile Services" for no reason.

***
2) High testosterone is also the enemy of people who hate stupid male antics. I think you see where I'm going with this.

This very though occurred to me yesterday. The government tells people that it is healthy to eat 11 servings of grains per day, though modern endocrinology proves this wrong. I know the government is stupid, but it’s not THAT stupid. If you get all the men to eat lots of grains, they will have big bellies. Visceral fat secretes estrogen. Testosterone levels go down, thus robbing men of their drive to do pretty much anything. High testosterone levels are the enemy of the elite agenda.

When did the government say that we should be eating all these grains with a low fat diet? I believe it was during the 1960s. I think you see where I’m going with this.

***
3) But are all the kids above average as well?

And the temperatures are WAY above average too. As per usual.

***
4) So ignorance and fear create the idea that this is all behind ignorance and fear? Wheels within hamsters running in wheels on treadmills.

Please do more research on the topics that you are (rather blindly) defending. I cannot give you all the answers yet on this topic because I am still learning myself.

A 'country' is merely an imaginary line of separation that has been fed to the world and accepted as 'truth'. The elites controlling the global economy are working in tandem with the Vatican banking cartel that created what we now call 'law', 'legalese', and our legal system. This was created by the International Bar Association, and it as designed to keep people ignorant and in fear.

***
5) Apparently a new auto-incorrect feature is getting beta tested.

R we really that dumb to believe that this SEA CREATURE is a spurgeon? lol EVOlUTION THEORIST always label a SEA CREATURE or MONSTER as a fish or something...smh bcuz they know if they admit that sea creatures exist it would TOTALLY DESTROY THE (FALSE) EVOLUTION THEORY (big bang) The bible makes it clear that Dinosaurs & sea creatures existed w/ humans. JOB chapter 40 & 41.

Yeah, it's a *SEA CREATURE*, not a spurgeon! Stoopid scientists with their santan inspired 'facts'....

***
6) As if knowing what someone says about themselves has any bearing on what they actually believe.

Sure, but that's meaningless because we don't really know what Al-Qaeda represents. I understand how they portray themselves (as an enemy of the "Great Satan"), I understand how the media portrays them (as something to be feared at all times), and I under how the government portrays them (as a convenient excuse to start wars all over the world), but I don't buy any of it. It looks like a fabricated, totally manufactured enemy to me.

***
7) Unless Google shows that Jennifer is an eight year old transexual paraplegic (with killer dictation skills) this seems an oddly anti-climatic sequence of words to write.

GHW Bush is a long time homosexual pedophile. He also had a longtime affair with his assistant Jennifer Fitzgerald. Google that name.

***
8) Santa wasn't real! Well how can I believe in this Abraham Lincoln now?

Knowing humans have lied before how can we believe anything anyone says, logically you cant. so it stands to reason, we can neither believe nor disbelieve anything.

some may say look at the evidence, or the absence of evidence. but how can you trust that what you see IS in fact what you see? after all, advanced science is indistinguishable from magic, to the primitive.

in my opinion, if your for, or against it, you've already lost.

***
9) Yeah, I mean there's never been any other obstacles to the wind that are attached to the ground so who knows what will happen?

hey. what happens with the weather, over a long period of time when they take the energy out of the wind?

***
10) This village idiot could become quite famous if he would tell scientists where this tree with the trunk that is 90% open space can be found.

Good isnt it?
Chop down a tree and it amazingly doesnt collapse into its own footprint.
it might be due to the uneven damage as also ocurred on 9/11, possibly?
Every village idiot knows this but debunkers dont.
If all the damage is on one side it will never collapse evenly in a million years.
Its obvious to a blind man theres something more than the official cover up is telling you here about every single building on 9/11.

***
11) Whoa! WHOA! WHOA! I'll buy that walking on hot coals gives you the power of huge chi fireballs from the eyes but I'm not for a second going to believe Ann Coulter is a Daoist.

Actors/witches were hired to chant in downtown Manhattan as the 911 MEGA RITUAL continued. As daoist practitioner Ann Coulter stood in burning coals for her part of the 911 ritual (Oprah Winfrey recently walked on hot coals [another Satanic ritual]. I assume Oprah did the coal walking segment for demonic power as a ritual for the next scam by the Satanic U.S. govt. or to drive up low viewership on OWN. I point out that OWN IS NWO backwards) between 2 mason bodybuilders, rolled her eyes back in her head and sent her CHI FIREBALLS toward the WTC Towers.

***
12) Yeah man, a triangle totally becomes something else when it gets bigger. Nice try at tricking me!

Now, dropped simultaneously from the same height, which would hit the ground first, a small brick or a really big one with the same shape and material ?

That's a catch question isn't it? A small brick vs really big one with the same shape and material? How can it have the same shape if it is bigger than the small one?

***
13) It's not like these book things have primary sources or anything.

I am asking evidence: samples, picture, videos, documents, etc.

Not books.

***
14) So the sun gets far away, turns off, then races back into the east? What is beyond the east? The pseudowest? Doesn't the sun know that track lighting went out of style over two decades ago?

Q: "Please explain sunrises and sunsets."

A: It is a perspective effect. The sun is just getting farther away: it looks like it is disappearing because everything gets smaller, and eventually disappears as it gets farther away.

***
15) I'm not sure what an "ignorant reactionary" is but I'm gonna assume it is a description of my mom in an unflattering light and I will attack something immediately because of it.

"Specious", is that some kinda' curse word (redacted member name)?

I don't know what "specious" means (redacted). I will have to look it up. I suspect it is a profanity. It most definitely sounds like a swear word to me. (also redacted) in particular takes exception to people's using these types of "big" offensive terms, these "should be" off limits words. I will not report you to the moderators for using such a term (redacted again), but I cannot speak/write for all of the other forum members here.

***
16) I have a number of pens that is somewhere between 256 and 258. But as no movie or tv show had the number in the title I don't know what it is!

If there was a Holocaust computer virus its signature would be lying.

Holocaustics check every door/avenue to see what they can get away with lying about. To them silence, no response, is golden.

They conjured up the 6 MILLION number over a CENTURY ago. Then relaunched it in WWI. Again early in WW2 and at the end of WW2.

In the 70s the master stroke was administered by Hollywood moguls when the 6 Million Dollar Man forever etched the 6 million number into the psyche of every TV watcher on the planet.

***
17) I always knew those damned ponies were up to something. Now if only we could get the word out about the Care Bears being pro apartheid!

I avoid most TV shows and do not watch them so I cannot tell you anything about Homestruck or Pokemon or My Little Pony. I find most of these shows pointless liberal propaganda.

***
18) So the bolts and welds are just steampunk aesthetic flourishes?

Moment frames assure that for the exterior and the interior was tied to the exterior by the floor beams. A steel frame building is essentially one piece. It's all bolted and welded together.

***
19) And when the buildings started to collapse did the top part hover in the air until it looked down?

But, even if the plane managed to even get far enough in, it would still be confronted by that massive concrete and steel I-beam support structure. If any part of that plane hit that center core, it would have immediately come to a complete stop with a large portion of the plane sticking outside the tower, since there was not enough space (from outer edge to inner core) to contain the full length of the plane.

***
20) This can't be alien stool. Everyone knows that extraterrestrial stool is very similar to Yeti stool but not at all like that fake bigfoot feces. Bigfoot crap is fiction!

Aliens don't just beam you out of your bathroom into a ship, that is science fiction..most abductions happen in or near the woods..physical abductions rarely or never happen anymore so I'm calling fiction.

 

[Cuddles]

Some amusing ones, but I don't see why 9) is in there. The effects of large wind farms on wind and weather patterns is a serious environmental concern. Firstly, it's different from simply blocking wind with a building since the energy is actually extracted rather than just redirected. Secondly, cities and other large structures (even including roads which don't block wind at all) are well established as having significant effects on weather and local climate. This isn't hypothetical stuff, there are plenty of published studies on the effects on wind farms on weather and climate, as well as serious research into ways to reduce those effects.

In fact, I'd say that attempting to stundie firmly established, and in basic concept really rather obvious and trivial, meteorology and thermodynamics is probably stundie-worthy itself.

 

[fourtoe]

12 because it made me literally laugh out loud.

17 because I submitted it, though it isn't nearly as funny as...

16. 16 stole my heart weeks ago when I first read it.

Hope you get better. Have you thought of getting a guest Stundier for when you're sick or you gotta go out of town to do some shilling (we all know what that's like, amirite?).

 

[Travis]

Some amusing ones, but I don't see why 9) is in there. The effects of large wind farms on wind and weather patterns is a serious environmental concern. Firstly, it's different from simply blocking wind with a building since the energy is actually extracted rather than just redirected. Secondly, cities and other large structures (even including roads which don't block wind at all) are well established as having significant effects on weather and local climate. This isn't hypothetical stuff, there are plenty of published studies on the effects on wind farms on weather and climate, as well as serious research into ways to reduce those effects.

In fact, I'd say that attempting to stundie firmly established, and in basic concept really rather obvious and trivial, meteorology and thermodynamics is probably stundie-worthy itself.

IIRC the context was that windmills would stop weather itself. But there's a good chance I'm not remembering correctly.

Hope you get better. Have you thought of getting a guest Stundier for when you're sick or you gotta go out of town to do some shilling (we all know what that's like, amirite?).

Considering how I am feeling lately that would have been nice this month.

Stupid hayfever.

 

[timhau]

8. It's an excellent example of muddled 'critical' thinking.

Get better, Travis.

 

[carlitos]

16 ftw!

 

[Travis]

Maybe it's the medicine talking but the idea of a meta-stundie sounds rather appealing.

 

[BaaBaa]

Vote for 5!

 

[BaaBaa]

#15 because...well, *really*!

 

[akama1]

1 + 5 , 1 still has me amused. "Pedophile Services" isn't scary enough, so I better add Comunist somewhere to amp it to 11

 

[ArmillarySphere]

I like my spurgeon beer-battered with chips and tartare sauce, myself.

 

[100]

So what would you do in a case of a three way tie Travis?

 

[Horatius]

So what would you do in a case of a three way tie Travis?

Brag!


Oh, wait, three way tie.

Never mind.

 

[fourtoe]

Brag!


Oh, wait, three way tie.

Never mind.

I'd still brag, until someone figured it out.

I like that the "shapes change as the size gets bigger" one is #1.

 

[Travis]

So what would you do in a case of a three way tie Travis?

I believe we had a three way tie once before. I just declared all of them winners.

 

[BravesFan]

#2 made me laugh so hard!!!

 

[BaaBaa]

First in war, first in peace....vote for #5!