• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Kitty the Alien Expert needs good UFO stories!

kittynh

Penultimate Amazing
K
Joined
Dec 18, 2002
Messages
22,634
Let's face it, a star was born. That or there is now proof that satelitte radio is so desperate they will put anyone on.

Now I have to come up with MORE funny, yet "true" alien stories for the mass media. Well, ones I can blast to all heck.

So what is the weirdest UFO case you remember reading about?

I'm going with the guy in South America that was kidnapped by an alien she devil with a biological clock that was ticking away. He has to please her all night long so that her planet could be repopulated. I'm going to study up on him (he's a lawyer now, so mind you, that proves he can lie!).

If it's wacky I think that is good. Sex also sells. I plan on using the word "fruitcake" next time, hoping that is legal and won't get me sued.

That's right, I'm selling out!
 
Wellll. I have a UFO story you're free to use, but it's not particularly loony.

I used to ride my bike home from my grad lab latish at night. One night, I saw a series of brightly lit objects off toward the horizon zipping around at astounding speed, seemingly flying in formation. I watched for several minutes, then continued my ride home, wondering what the heck I had seen.

The next night, I made sure to get to the same spot at roughly the same time. After watching the lights zip about again for a few minutes, I slapped my forehead, realizing my mistake.

Between me and the hills on the horizon (above which I thought the lights were zipping around) was a building with a light on the top. The light itself was blocked from my sight, but I could see birds flying above it, presumably eating the insects that it attracted. I didn't notice the light itself, probably at least in part because I was focusing on the horizon. Suddenly what looked totally inexplicable became something I see every day. In case you're wondering, of course the birds weren't moving nearly as fast as I'd assumed, they were just smaller and closer than I'd assumed on the first night.

And thus, with simple observation, I was saved from my fall into woo!
 
ohhh. no alien babes wanted sex?

I'm going to have to really dig in the old books at the library.
 
Well, you've GOT to research Howard Menger. Not only did he meet a drop dead gorgeous blond Venusian lady sitting on a rock when he was walking in the woods as a ten year old, but some years later he discovered that his backyard was Landing Field Number 2 for the entire Venusian Air Force (They often dropped in for coffee apaprently....) And at some point after he married, his wife had an affair with someone from (I think) Jupiter. I've previously mentioned Brooklyn's "Mystic Barber". And of course "Professor" George Adamski "of Mt. Palomar Observatory" who also was visited by Venusians (Apparently he ran a hot dog stand at the foot of the road that lead up to the observatory.) His photographs of "Venusian Scout Ships" were identified as possibly: An old model operating room lamp, a tobacco humidor with ping pong balls, a chicken brooder, or the top of an old style canister vacuum cleaner. This was years before scientists discovered venus surface temps were hot enough to melt lead, but they were fun days, and these guys had a lot of believers back then. But my favorite as a kid growing up was "The Shaver Mystery". I won't elaborate here except to say that I actually got my school buddies to throw their shoes against the walls of our study hall and shout out "Come Deros" to call up the evil underground dwelling Deros. (A Dero is a "DEtrimental RObot, but of course we never DID manage to summon them!...Porbably just as well)
If you want something a tad more (dare I say) rational, have your library find you a copy of "The Encyclopedia of UFOS" edited by Ronald Story (Dolphin Books, Doubleday & Co., NY 1980) Adamski is in there of coruse, but so are a LOT of weird sightings, some of which have been explained and some not. It's generally neutral and packed full of interesting stuff.
Happy reading!
 
The really insane stuff turns up when people combien psyic revolations with extream conspirocy theories.

Of course by the this stage the people involved are genuinly mentaly ill so it best not to go there.
 
wait! What was that relgion with the lady that dressed kind of like an overaged Barbie? Have to look her up! She claimed she WAS an alien, but looked like Barbara Cartland.

Had a whole desert complex, which may still have followers.

Need to hit the library.

My favorite is the old Orm of Loch Ness, still need to get a copy of the book that ties Nessie to UFOs.
 
There was this old couple that were visited by male and female aliens who wanted to try mating with humans. They agreed and seperated into different rooms. The human female was unimpressed with the alien male's "demensions" until he told her to make it bigger just squeeze his nose. She squeezed and squeezed until it was enough to satisfy her to her fondest expectations. The next morning she asked her husband how the alien female was and all he said was, "danged if all she did was squeeze my nose."
 
kittynh said:
wait! What was that relgion with the lady that dressed kind of like an overaged Barbie? Have to look her up! She claimed she WAS an alien, but looked like Barbara Cartland.

Had a whole desert complex, which may still have followers.
Click to expand...

You may be thinking of Ruth Norman (aka "Uriel") of the Unarius group. So far out it seems hard to believe anyone could possibly believe her stuff although apparently some actually do. There's a nice little write up about her complete with photo in "The Fringes of Reason" edited by Ted Schultz (subtitled: "A field guide to new age frontiers, unusual beliefs and eccentric sciences). It's another "must have" book, sadly out of print like The Encyclopedia of UFOs. Even Mr. Randi gets coverage- as a skeptical investigator. The book is like the old "Whole Earth Catalogue" and a delightful and funny reference source.
 
Back in my college days, I had really bad UFO for dinner once....we used to call UFOs "unidentified fried objects."

glenn:boxedin:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom