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JESUS on a billboard

Bruce

Philosopher
Bruce
Joined
Jul 26, 2001
Messages
7,519
A new billboard poster has been erected on the roadside on my way home from word. It is a big, ugly, green and white sign that simply says JESUS. I've been wondering who this sign is intended for. My guess is that it is for disgruntled Christians that have had a bad day at work and are praying to themselves, "God, I need to know you are still there. Give me a sign."

The funny thing is that there is another billboard directly underneath that one. Currently, it is an advertisement for lawn mowers. It's times like these that I wish I were filthy rich. I would buy the billboard beneath and put up a new poster every day until the ugly JESUS sign was taken down. It would say things like:

THINKS YOU SUCK!
LOVES GAY PEOPLE!
BEFREINDED PROSTITUTES! FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE!
VS. ALLAH, TONIGHT ON PAY-PER-VIEW!
DIED! GET OVER IT!
IT'S JUST A BOOK! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR LIFE IN CHURCH!
TASTES LIKE CRACKERS!
THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!

Feel free to dream with me. :)
 
I like the old joke:

..... saves but the mongol hordes.

or

.... has elastic buttocks. He tied his ass to a tree and walked to Jeruselem

How about:

.... rose for your sins. Interflora rose for $9.99

.... makes you cross

.... can't hold marbles

.... bites his nails

.... and his mother. Virgin on the rediculous




(I'll get my coat....)
 
Billboard above:
Matthew 24:27
“For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be."

Middle billboard:

JESUS

Billboard below:

.... that's going to take more than a condom to hold back.
 
Does anybody remember those "God" quotes that used to appear on billboards as white text on a black background?

Or better yet, the argument against abortion because Jesus was an illegitimate child? (Never mind that if Jesus were as divine as they say he is, no abortion would stop him anyway...)

But still, as far as random nonsense on signs goes, nothing beats church signs for a good unexpected laugh.
 
This kind of ties in with the seatbelt and Libertarian thread on Politics, but my favorite religious billboard advocated using seatbelt on kids and was put up by a local church in midstate New York several years back:

"Hug 'Em At Home. Belt 'Em In The Car."

Now THAT'S tough love!

Michael
 
..will be busy helping running backs catch passes this weekend so are you available to help down at the soup kitchen?
 
Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Man, that's great Bruce!

You know - how much does that bill board space cost? We might be able to round up a few folks to go ahead and purchase that ad space.

It might even make the news!

Why don't you find out how much it costs, and lets see if we can raise the money!
 
Re: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

SkepticalScience said:
Man, that's great Bruce!

You know - how much does that bill board space cost? We might be able to round up a few folks to go ahead and purchase that ad space.

It might even make the news!

Why don't you find out how much it costs, and lets see if we can raise the money!
Click to expand...

Heh.

I know that it is in the several thousand range depending on how long you rent. Billboards are big business because of government regulations etc. I met a billboard business guy once. Big BIG money.

If I lived in a big city, I would entertain the idea of actually going through with it, but this is a rural community. News would travel very fast and I would be on the front page of the paper with the word HERETIC under my picture in a heartbeat. Not good for my career or personal safety.

If I think of it, I'll take a picture with my digital camera tomorrow for eveyones entertainment.
 
"Jesus saves souls...
...and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes!"
 
JESUS


SATAN (with picture of Satan flipping off the JESUS sign)
 
JESUS

Free with Purchase of a Jumbo Slurpie!
7-11, Exit 93 A, two miles on right.

Hurry, supplies limited.
 
Jesus saves...

but Bremner scores on the rebound!
 
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