Jehovah - the sporting god

[Loki]

Athletes and Religion

Glad to see that the almighty takes such a keen interest in highly paid professional sports.

Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander said his eyes widen when he sees a tackler make a big hit. He thinks, "That dude must be saved. And if he isn't, I'm thinking about how sweet it would be if he did know the Lord."

To a nonbeliever the statement is confusing. Wasn't it the player who spent all those hours practicing? And wasn't it a teammate that helped set up a winning play?

"You tackle for the Lord, not your coach," Alexander explained.

"Spiritually, God is healing me, and I'm way ahead of where a lot of people expect me to be."
-- Philadelphia Eagles receiver Terrell Owens talking about his healing right ankle, which had two screws and a plate placed in it a month ago. Doctors have not cleared him to play in the Super Bowl.

"That was not Betty Lennox playing out there, that was God working through me. I have to thank Him for helping me achieve everything we achieved tonight."
-- Betty Lennox after the Storm won the WNBA championship and she was awarded the Finals MVP trophy in October 2004.

"I want to thank my God, Jehovah, who gave me the strength to compete because you guys were tough on me. I still love you. ... How many people do you know go out there and jeer a 19-year-old? I'm a kid. I play tennis."
-- Serena Williams after beating Belgium's Kim Clijsters in 2001 at the Tennis Masters Series in Indian Wells, Calif.

"No matter how many times you tell it, it just gets better and better. We ran that play for four weeks (in fall camp), and we did not connect once. We ran it probably 20-25 times. And two plays before that, we missed it right off his fingertips. For some reason, that play came upon me to be called. I don't know what really, I don't; it's just divine intervention. You'd think after putting your money on that card, and missing it all those times, we weren't gonna call it again."
-- QB Brock Huard in 1998 to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer about a 63-yard touchdown pass to Reggie Davis that gave Washington a win over Arizona State. He said later in a radio interview that a friend saw the holy spirit fly from Huard's arm.

 

[Skeptical Greg]

I guess you haven't heard, God works in mysterious ways..

Funny how he manages to help millionare athletes while thousands drown in a tidal wave.. Maybe God just thought they were practicing their surfing,and that it was best they learn on their own this time..

 

[H3LL]

No need for training or other team players then.

I suppose the rest of the team and coach are just spare bags of meat when you have the lord on your side.

Gimmee a buy-bul...I'm going to be the next Michael Jordan...Praise be.

Religion...Pah!...An insult to every human that ever lived.

 

[c4ts]

Should have bought my Jehovah at the sporting gods store while I had the chance. I could have saved so much money.

 

[Beerina]

Sam Kinison said it best, masterfully: "I love how a boxer will thank God after he won the fight, as if God helped him. What's the loser supposed to say? 'I was doing great in there -- until Jesus made me lose!' "

 

[Brown]

Prediction: During the Super Bowl, a receiver will make a nice catch that results in a touchdown. He will point to the sky as if to give credit to the Almighty for the trivial feat.

The same player will also fail to make a catch, but he will make a different gesture: wrist-wagging indicating that, in his judgment, his failure to make a catch was due to an illegal move by an opposing player that deserves a penalty.

Thus, if the play is successful, the player will make a show of false humility, giving credit to divine intervention. If the play is unsuccessful, the player will not take credit for the failure, but will assert that he would have been successful but for the dastardly cheating by his opponent, which apparently could not have been overcome by divine intervention.

 

[Marquis de Carabas]

Prediction: During the Super Bowl, a receiver will make a nice catch that results in a touchdown. He will point to the sky as if to give credit to the Almighty for the trivial feat.

The same player will also fail to make a catch, but he will make a different gesture: wrist-wagging indicating that, in his judgment, his failure to make a catch was due to an illegal move by an opposing player that deserves a penalty.

Thus, if the play is successful, the player will make a show of false humility, giving credit to divine intervention. If the play is unsuccessful, the player will not take credit for the failure, but will assert that he would have been successful but for the dastardly cheating by his opponent, which apparently could not have been overcome by divine intervention.

Which proves that Richard Seymour is, in fact, more powerful than God.

 

[Bikewer]

Back when I was more active in the martial arts, I ran into several folks involved in the "Christian Martial Arts" community. (They used to put up ads in the MA press as well.)
Very odd, I thought. I had a hard time getting past all that "turning the other cheek" stuff. Maybe so you could get in a spinning back kick?

 

[Skeptical Greg]

Sam Kinison said it best, masterfully: "I love how a boxer will thank God after he won the fight, as if God helped him. What's the loser supposed to say? 'I was doing great in there -- until Jesus made me lose!' "

That reminds me of the one about the man who found himself sitting next to a priest at a boxing match.

Having noted that one of the fighters crossed himself as they received their instructions from the referee, the man asked the priest if he thought it would help..
The priest responded : " If he can fight it will. "

 

[Kopji]

This is, mind you, the same God who just a few weeks ago watched silently as a quarter million people – some of them far better Christians and Muslims and Buddhists and Hindus than Owens - were washed off the face of the earth by a tsunami. It is the same God that countless people are imploring to save terminally ill mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives. The same God that destitute others are begging to somehow allow them to find enough money to pay the mortgage and feed the children.

He doesn’t get around to helping all of them, which is, as the keepers of the faiths like to say, a mystery. Instead, He heals the ankle of a millionaire with an ego that Donald Trump probably envies...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6895597/

Say what? MSNBC writing over the top of everyone's head again.
-sigh-

Well, the real mystery is Cricket.
I spent hours trying to make any sense of it last week. Part of my Australian sports appreciation effort. I thought I might have it, but then read an account of the match and could still barely understand a word. If I ever go there I want to watch a game.

So next week we have the Stupor Bowl. Two teams valiantly fighting to get a ball to the opposing goal, and then jumping up and down, ripping their jerseys and exposing their breasts. What a great game.

 

[c4ts]

Apparently, God's left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, helping athletes win but at the same time letting them cheat the other guy out of a win.