Roadtoad
Bufo Caminus Inedibilis
From a friend who now works for DOD. Sad thing is, while this is a parody, it's painfully close to the truth...
Subject: Iraqi Regular Army Soldiers Graduate From Basic Training
American Forces Press Service
MOSUL, Iraq, Jan. 11, 2005 -- Soldiers from the Iraqi regular army recently completed a rigorous basic training program and are being activated to counter anti-Iraqi insurgents operating in northern Iraq, U.S. officials here said.
As part of the "strategery" of which President Bush made mention while searching for Wads of Misguided Democrats, (WMDs), in Iraq, the new Iraqi army regulars will guard toll-takers at the George Washington Bridge at Exit 16 on the NJ Turnpike.
The Iraqi soldiers and their instructors, which included members of the Iraqi security forces and Multinational Force Iraq, had a very speedy graduation ceremony at their training site in northern Iraq. A variety of speakers noted "indecent haste" and "sitting ducks" in characterizing the graduates.
"The graduation is a right of passage and a point of immense pride for the defenders of the new Iraq. The dedication to duty and the willingness to stand up and defend their freedom that these soldiers show is amazing. The dumb bastards have no clue what they're in for if US troops stay and even less of an idea of their fate after the GI's leave. I have tremendous respect for them," said a Multinational Force officer. "As long as I have real military from other nations standing with me," he continued, "just in case 'the Ramaden help', as we call the Iraqis, have a mood swing and leave me to my own devices."
The training program included instruction and testing on marksmanship, running away very quickly, weapons, leadership, not talking to strangers (even if they're Sunnis) in cars, tactics, even more running away very quickly, first aid, relating to civilians, and professional ethics.
The program is designed to create well-rounded professional soldiers ready to take positions in the Iraqi regular army for at least the rest of the hour, an official explained.
In other news from Iraq, Iraqi police and firefighters are attempting to extinguish a pipeline fire southwest of Riyadh. U.S. Task Force Danger soldiers reported the fire following an explosion earlier today while also demanding to know "who the f*** came up with the name for this task force?" Failing to extinguish the blaze, the Multinational Force is hopeful of organizing a "really big Bar-B-Q" for those celebrating release from incarceration at the Abu Gahraim Prison.
Subject: Iraqi Regular Army Soldiers Graduate From Basic Training
American Forces Press Service
MOSUL, Iraq, Jan. 11, 2005 -- Soldiers from the Iraqi regular army recently completed a rigorous basic training program and are being activated to counter anti-Iraqi insurgents operating in northern Iraq, U.S. officials here said.
As part of the "strategery" of which President Bush made mention while searching for Wads of Misguided Democrats, (WMDs), in Iraq, the new Iraqi army regulars will guard toll-takers at the George Washington Bridge at Exit 16 on the NJ Turnpike.
The Iraqi soldiers and their instructors, which included members of the Iraqi security forces and Multinational Force Iraq, had a very speedy graduation ceremony at their training site in northern Iraq. A variety of speakers noted "indecent haste" and "sitting ducks" in characterizing the graduates.
"The graduation is a right of passage and a point of immense pride for the defenders of the new Iraq. The dedication to duty and the willingness to stand up and defend their freedom that these soldiers show is amazing. The dumb bastards have no clue what they're in for if US troops stay and even less of an idea of their fate after the GI's leave. I have tremendous respect for them," said a Multinational Force officer. "As long as I have real military from other nations standing with me," he continued, "just in case 'the Ramaden help', as we call the Iraqis, have a mood swing and leave me to my own devices."
The training program included instruction and testing on marksmanship, running away very quickly, weapons, leadership, not talking to strangers (even if they're Sunnis) in cars, tactics, even more running away very quickly, first aid, relating to civilians, and professional ethics.
The program is designed to create well-rounded professional soldiers ready to take positions in the Iraqi regular army for at least the rest of the hour, an official explained.
In other news from Iraq, Iraqi police and firefighters are attempting to extinguish a pipeline fire southwest of Riyadh. U.S. Task Force Danger soldiers reported the fire following an explosion earlier today while also demanding to know "who the f*** came up with the name for this task force?" Failing to extinguish the blaze, the Multinational Force is hopeful of organizing a "really big Bar-B-Q" for those celebrating release from incarceration at the Abu Gahraim Prison.