Iran Radio claims OBL captured

[Evolver]

From Excite news, reported all over the place

Pentagon and Pakistani officials on Saturday denied an Iranian state radio report that Osama bin Laden was captured in Pakistan's border region with Afghanistan "a long time ago."

The director of Iran radio's Pashtun service, Asheq Hossein, said he had two sources for the report. The radio quoted its reporter as saying bin Laden had been in custody for a period of time, but a U.S. announcement of the capture was being withheld by President Bush until closer to the November election.

If this is true, and rumors have been out there for a while, it would be one of the most shameful acts out of this administration.

I wonder if there would be something that Bush & his henchmen could be prosecuted on. But you know the Repugnican congress will ignore all evidence of wrongdoing.

 

[Ed]

Yes,I have him. He is here with me and Saddam.

Please, send more Dinty Moore(tm) Beef Stew. It is the best.

 

[Ed]

From Excite news, reported all over the place



If this is true, and rumors have been out there for a while, it would be one of the most shameful acts out of this administration.

I wonder if there would be something that Bush & his henchmen could be prosecuted on. But you know the Repugnican congress will ignore all evidence of wrongdoing.

Absolute nonsense. There are many perfectly valid reasons to keep it under wraps. Somehow I doubt it, though.

 

[Evolver]

Yes,I have him. He is here with me and Saddam.

Please, send more Dinty Moore(tm) Beef Stew. It is the best.

Dinty Moore? That's cruel & unusual punishment, even for Osama.

 

[Skeptic]

If this is true, and rumors have been out there for a while, it would be one of the most shameful acts out of this administration.

Consider the source: "rumors" based on absolutely nothing except conspiracy-theory thinking, and the state-controlled propaganda radio channel of the Islamic Republic of Iran, by far the biggest sponsor of Islamist terror in the world.

If such sources are to be taken seriously, it would not be the most shameful act of the administration by a long shot--you'd have to add the continued coverup of alien abduction and the CIA-sponsored attack on the World Trade Center on 9/11, for starters.

 

[Evolver]

I take the rumors with a grain of salt. But add a dash of pepper because those same rumors have been bandied about before.

 

[Evolver]

... the Islamic Republic of Iran, by far the biggest sponsor of Islamist terror in the world.

I thought the Saudis were number one (with a bullet) in that respect.

 

[Skeptic]

I take the rumors with a grain of salt. But add a dash of pepper because those same rumors have been bandied about before.

So have rumors of alien abductions, the end of the world, Christ's second coming, jews drinking gentile blood, voodoo priests making men's penises disappear, witches speaking with the devil, a "new economy" where supply and demand don't matter, a global ice age, satanic child abuse...

...you get the point.

 

[Skeptic]

I thought the Saudis were number one (with a bullet) in that respect.

To quote Monty Python's "Undertaker" sketch, where the customer asks whether cremation or burial are better: "well, they're both nasty".

If one has to choose, one should say that Iran is more serious. First of all, most of the world headquarters of those organizations are there; they only last month had a "fifteen days of sunrise" conference (nice name) with the heads of all of those organizations coming together in Teheran to plan continued operations. But there is no doubt that Saudi Arabia gives them a lot of money and is the traditional source of Wa'habism.

 

[Evolver]

So have rumors of alien abductions, the end of the world, Christ's second coming, jews drinking gentile blood, voodoo priests making men's penises disappear, witches speaking with the devil, a "new economy" where supply and demand don't matter, a global ice age, satanic child abuse...

...you get the point.

Wait, do you mean my famidly doesn't drink gentile blood? That was wine I was turning down at all those seders? Damn.

 

[Chaos]

So have rumors of alien abductions, the end of the world, Christ's second coming, jews drinking gentile blood, voodoo priests making men's penises disappear, witches speaking with the devil, a "new economy" where supply and demand don't matter, a global ice age, satanic child abuse...

...you get the point.

Unlike most of these, the "OBL is already captured" rumor would not contradict our knowledge of natural laws, nor would you need God to make it plausible. I´d limit the comparison to conspiracies if I were you.

FWIW, I still don´t believe the rumor. For one thing, I think this administrations (as well as most others) would not be capable (in terms of competence, not ethics) of pulling this off without anybody blowing the whistle - and if there was a whistleblower, it certainly would not be the Iranians who did it first!

 

[mummymonkey]

In terms of conspiracy theories it lacks a little, I don't know, oomph. What about OBL was killed in the war a couple of years ago and has been replaced by an intelligence gathering droid. There, that's better.
btw, when OBL is 'captured' just before election day, how do they stop him from blabbing that he's been locked in a cell for 6 months. Unless they kill him, in which case, why not kill him now and keep the stiff in the fridge along with the Dinty Moore?

Edit: spelling intelligence takes intellegence

 

[Evolver]

Dinty Moore is Soylent Green!

 

[CapelDodger]

from mummymonkey:

In terms of conspiracy theories it lacks a little, I don't know, oomph.

The "October Surprise" scenario won't hunt well, but who is the theory aimed at? If bin Laden is found dead at some point, the Americans killed him and dumped the body. If he's never heard from again he's still alive in some US hell-hole, yadda yadda. After a century or so he's Ascended. Then there's the possibility that the Iranians have him and have some convoluted carpet-seller's sting operation in mind. Fertile ground for the imagination.

 

[Ed]

Dinty Moore is Soylent Green!

Dinty Moore wishes it were Soylent Green.

There is a joke here, somewhere, about DM being Kosher because of the ground up dead Rabbi's in it. Help me out....

"It's like having a Rabbi at your Seder!!"

Something like that....

Never mind.

 

[RandFan]

If this is true, and rumors have been out there for a while, it would be one of the most shameful acts out of this administration.

I wonder if there would be something that Bush & his henchmen could be prosecuted on. But you know the Repugnican congress will ignore all evidence of wrongdoing.

Ahh, Skepticism, critical thought, objectivity, all rescinded in two short paragraphs.

Can I try it?

If the rumors that Clinton had Vince Foster killed are true, and they have been out there for a while, then it would be one of the most shameful acts out of his administration.

I wonder if there would be something that Clinton & his henchmen could be prosecuted on.

Oh, I like it. A great way to savage some ones character based on rumor. And the "henchmen" touch is really the icing on the cake.

Still, it could be improved on. Instead of "henchmen", how about band of murdering, raping pillaging thugs. Yeah, that's it. Oh and cat haters. These guys hate cats ...and...and...they live for drowning little puppies.

Cool, Clinton and his band of murdering, raping, pillaging thugs who hate cats and live to drown little puppies.

Thanks Evolver, you are a true inspiration for conspiracy theorists everywhere.

 

[Evolver]

Re: Re: Iran Radio claims OBL captured

Thanks Evolver, you are a true inspiration for conspiracy theorists everywhere.

No, thank you, someone had to do it.

 

[Evolver]

Re: Re: Iran Radio claims OBL captured

Ahh, Skepticism, critical thought, objectivity, all rescinded in two short paragraphs.

Can I try it?

If the rumors that Clinton had Vince Foster killed are true, and they have been out there for a while, then it would be one of the most shameful acts out of his administration.

I wonder if there would be something that Clinton & his henchmen could be prosecuted on.

Oh, I like it. A great way to savage some ones character based on rumor. And the "henchmen" touch is really the icing on the cake.

Still, it could be improved on. Instead of "henchmen", how about band of murdering, raping pillaging thugs. Yeah, that's it. Oh and cat haters. These guys hate cats ...and...and...they live for drowning little puppies.

Cool, Clinton and his band of murdering, raping, pillaging thugs who hate cats and live to drown little puppies.

Thanks Evolver, you are a true inspiration for conspiracy theorists everywhere.

You guys never tire of that Clinton thing, do you?

 

[RandFan]

Re: Re: Re: Iran Radio claims OBL captured

You guys never tire of that Clinton thing, do you?

Hell no!

 

[Evolver]

Oh yeah? I see your Clinton and raise you a Nixon.