Hi! I'm back!

[Ivor the Engineer]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

 

[Sledge]

You know.

 

[Professor Yaffle]

So, god................. What are your views of circumcision?




*runs for cover*

 

[Skwinty]

So God, did Sir Francis Drake really circumcise the world.

 

[Garrette]

So God, did Sir Francis Drake really circumcise the world.

No, just Magellan, which is how they came to be called the Filetpenis.

 

[MattusMaximus]

So, god................. What are your views of circumcision?

*runs for cover*

C'mon Yaffle, no need to be a dick

 

[Blackadder]

What is the meaning of life?

And why did you go away thousands of years. That's very inconsiderate of you. Please go away once again and this time take with you every human that believes in you so the rest of us can actually live in paradise* on earth.



* Not that I think 'the rest of us' are saints, but with several billion people gone, many major world problems that all come from overpopulation are solved in one go.

 

[JihadJane]

Smite me with a bolt of lightning. Now or never!

 

[Tricky]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

You could start by uniting all your followers so that they all are saying the same thing. It gets so confusing when they contradict each other.

Then you can work on the non-followers.

 

[JihadJane]

Unleash a plague of fat cats.

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

So, god................. What are your views of circumcision?




*runs for cover*

 

[Professor Yaffle]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

You've already convinced me.

Reported for rule 7.

 

[AvalonXQ]

You've already convinced me.

Reported for rule 7.

So if God the Father and Jesus Christ each created an account on JREF, would that be a violation of Rule 7 or not?

 

[ddt]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

Try the global flood thing for lulz.

And you better convince us, otherwise you've created this thread in the wrong forum.

 

[Chaos]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

A six- or seven-figure sum transferred to my bank account would work.

 

[The Norseman]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

Pistols at dawn.

Sledge will be my second.

 

[HansMustermann]

Hi guys, I'm back after a couple of thousand years.

What do I have to do to convince you I'm God?

If you're God, then you already know that.

 

[Ray Brady]

Tell me what card I picked, even though I was allowed to shuffle the deck first.

 

[Olowkow]

Heal an amputee...or admit you just can't.

 

[Ivor the Engineer]

So, god................. What are your views of circumcision?




*runs for cover*

I've found over the last few thousand years the eighth day clause hasn't really worked out the way I wanted it to*. So I've decided to change the rules a little bit.

Men will now circumcise themselves with craft knife at the age of 18 years old.

Any objections**?





*Damn, why did I have to give you free will?
**Just remember who you're talking to.