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Heaven the Theocratic Dictatorship

evildave

Unregistered
E
The similarities between the way heaven's policies are portrayed and a paranoid dictatorship are very strong.

In Heaven (or Christ's 1000 year reich, or whatever), apparently things are run as a theocratic dictatorship. If God held an election and you voted for anything but God's stated opinion, wouldn't that be heresy, plain and simple?

Once you're in heaven, are you so "off the hook" for sinning that you could safely disagree with God and not get into any trouble for it?

If you go to Heaven, will you spend eternity worrying over every little thing you think or say? Or perhaps anything in you that might disagree with the status quo (WHATEVER that might be) will be "purged" from you? Perhaps "re-educated" out of you, like a nice Cambodian camp under Pol Pot?

Then again, perhaps they simply threaten you with banishment to Hell repeatedly until you're cowed by the dread that stories of Hell summon.

I imagine something a little like what we saw in Iraq (which is not at all unique, as dictatorships on Earth go). Likenesses of Saddam everywhere. TV, Radio, books, everything has to have Saddam's likeness on it. Every song has to sing Saddam's praises. Every story must relate back to Saddam.

The difference is, (for the Christian model) these would all be likenesses of Jesus. Songs of Jesus accompanied to harp music. Books of Jesus. Oh, and the "reeducation camps" would be guided worship, where you chant "Jee-sus! Jee-sus!" instead of "Pol Pot! Pol Pot!".

Something like that, anyway. Never mind being seperated from your "heathen" relatives forever. I'm sure mothers will enjoy heaven all the more for knowing some of their children are burning forever in Hell. Unless their brains are "cleansed" so they don't know anything about that. Ahh, blissful mind-control ignorance.

Of course, as the religiously afflicted are wont to, they can declare self-righteously that "This isn't a dictatrorship like all the historic dictatorships we've ever seen on Earth: it's GOD's dictatorship, and therefore BETTER!". Just like the people who (initially) support bringing dictators into power.
 
Keeping with the theme, I think hell has gotten a bad rap. Most of the islamist and communist dictatorships have always blamed America for everything and talked about how horrible of a country it is. Same thing with the xians and hell. Of course xian propaganda would say hell is a bad place run by a bad person. I'm pretty sure hell would be a blast if it was set up correctly. My theory is that all people that caused other people harm (hitler, OJ Simpson, former congressmen and trial lawyers) go to the fire and brimstone hell and live in eternal pain. I think all the sinners that on average were good people would go to party hell with a killer band, good food and drink followed by an orgy every night.
 
Sorry, EDave,
I agree with Fidiot. You just don't know what you're talking about. For instance, you said: "I'm sure mothers will enjoy heaven all the more for knowing some of their children are burning forever in Hell"

don't you know anything at all?
Only virgins get into heaven. The only virgin who had a child is Mary, and her child (who's name is Jesus, in case you're totally ignorant) will also be in heaven.

Oh, and the "reeducation camps" would be guided worship, where you chant "Jee-sus! Jee-sus!" instead of "Pol Pot! Pol Pot!".

I can't believe such ignorance. I suppose that you think people should be singing songs about you.
[/A stoned hippy begins picking his guitar]

Oh Davey boy, the trolls the trolls are calling
From thread to thread they make their posts with pride.
Oh Davey boy, they want to stop you falling
And lift you up to Heaven by their side

But come ye back to hateful spite and mauling,
And every day you post your awful lies
But Davey boy, God's door is always open
Except to those who've laid down side by side
 
don't you know anything at all?
Only virgins get into heaven. The only virgin who had a child is Mary, and her child (who's name is Jesus, in case you're totally ignorant) will also be in heaven.
Click to expand...


Where in the bible or torah or koran or whatever you like to read does it say only virgins go to heaven? If all christians were virgins the cult would have died out centuries ago. Where do xian mothers go?
 
Sorry, Grape.
As you're relatively new here, I thought that I should fill you in on a little JREF history.

You see, EvilDave and I have an agreement. He posts as a rabid atheist and I post as a devout (if somewhat misguided) worshipper. The fact is, however, that in real life our roles are reversed.

I kid you not!

I swear by all that is holy and unholy, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.....

EvilDave is a genuine, fully ordained minister!!

If you don't believe me, search the forum for an old thread where he reveals this. A poster that you may not be familiar with (he left while I was elsewhere) tore a huge chunk out of our Dave for posting so many things that he didn't truely believe. I don't think he appreciated the humour.

Anyway, it takes a while to pick up on these things when you join a forum. I hoped I've helped you out a little.
 
Alas, 'tis so. The ordination cert is right on the wall.

From the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apothetic Agnistic.

I basically, truly, don't care whether there is a living real god or not.

I basically, truly, don't care whether there is a living real Barney the Dinosaur or not.

It bothers me that people will hurt each other based on beliefs about fictional characters in a story book.
 
Heaven is more like Jasmine's Rule of Love on the most recent Angel. Everybody wants it to be that way. Once you get to Heaven, you are relieved of the burden of your free will, and you never have to make choices again. Which, given the poor information and serious penatlies of decision making on this planet, is more of a relief than you might think.

Heaven is when you get to stop trying. Which means living. Which meands heaven is when you are dead. Hey... that kinda makes sense...
 
Oh, to be a rock on a shelf (or curiosity in a specimen jar) in Heaven. What a FINE paradise.
 
Hi evildave :

I am returning your "relax". A related joke to your opening post.

------------------------------------------------
Saddam and Bush died .

Both sinners went to hell.

After 2 years , according to hell rules , they now have the option to make a phone call.

Saddam called to Iraq .
--"How things are goinf on ?"
At the other side of the line ,- .."Well , now our people speak English , we have a lot of dancing discos , our women are liberated , etc. etc."
End of the phone call.
Saddam asked the devil : How much is the cost of the call?
The devil : "1 million dollars"
Ok said Saddam.

Bush phone called the White House .
" what are the latest news?
The WH : " well now we are in war with another country , we have more oil , we are more powerful , etc. etc."
End of the call.
Bush asked the devil : How much is the cost of the phone call?
The devil : "25 cents . Was a local phone call."

--------------------------------------------
As a curiosity , theists people like those jokes related to their own religion. Only the fanatics get upset.
A Christian told me those jokes , they were also some related to Jesus .
The civil tone , is the clue.

Thanks,
S&S

P.S.
Just a relax.
 
ED,

Once you're in heaven, are you so "off the hook" for sinning that you could safely disagree with God and not get into any trouble for it?

You can currently disagree with god and not get in trouble for it. See about every prophet in the OT.

If you go to Heaven, will you spend eternity worrying over every little thing you think or say?

I would think if heaven is the eternity it is purported to be then every thought and phrase will occur simultaneously, as would any worry or lack of it. It would have to place where opposites truly unite.

Every song has to sing Saddam's praises. Every story must relate back to Saddam.

The difference here of course being that it literally, and logically would necessitate this activity. If you are suddenly eternal with the eternal, then what other options are there? To recall temporal grandmothers from a temporal life and sing their praises?

Songs of Jesus accompanied to harp music. Books of Jesus. Oh, and the "reeducation camps" would be guided worship, where you chant "Jee-sus! Jee-sus!" instead of "Pol Pot! Pol Pot!".

The word "guided" assumes a direction in space-time. If heaven is truly eternal this is non-sensical.

sure mothers will enjoy heaven all the more for knowing some of their children are burning forever in Hell. Unless their brains are "cleansed" so they don't know anything about that. Ahh, blissful mind-control ignorance.

This is a possiblity if the heaven / hell concept proves to be true. It sure would suck.

"This isn't a dictatrorship like all the historic dictatorships we've ever seen on Earth: it's GOD's dictatorship, and therefore BETTER!".

Ahh yes, logical coherence at last.

Flick
 
Serious post.
OK, I realise that I'm not going to be taken seriously now, but... I am serious!

Why do people reckon that Heaven will be a perfect place? After all, Heaven and Earth were both created by the same organisation. Sure, some things in this world are perfect. But not everything. Is Earth kind of like a product-test, where God Incorporeal fine tunes both Heaven and Hell environments?

That could also explain why there are so many religions. God doesn't know which one works best, so he has to try them all out.


God's TQM (humor)

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.
Click to expand...
 
I don't think it necessarily follows that something which is "eternal" and/or in other manners limitless collapses to a point (0).

Of course, perhaps it does. That second when you lose consciousness could seem to drag on, according to what mechanism of death you are experiencing. (I.e. exanguination, CO2 poisoning, oxygen starvation, nutrient starvation, all manner of other poisonings, blunt force trauma, total and "instantaneous" destruction of brain tissue exceeding its processing capacity or even nerve signal propagation speeds, maybe partial brain destruction followed by exanguination. That sort of thing. Lots of variables to cause you to just black out or suffer for prolonged periods not knowing what your state is, or worry and panic and despair, according to what you are prone to worry and panic and despair about. Injury and pain are both big candidates.)
 
Yahzi said:
..... Once you get to Heaven, you are relieved of the burden of your free will, and you never have to make choices again. Which, given the poor information and serious penatlies of decision making on this planet, is more of a relief than you might think.

Heaven is when you get to stop trying. Which means living. Which meands heaven is when you are dead. Hey... that kinda makes sense...
Click to expand...

Sounds suspiciously like the stun line in slaughter houses.
 
Wow! I made it to heaven! Is this the room where we meet JesuTHUD!
 
GoodPropaganda said:

Only virgins get into heaven.
Click to expand...


I'm set then, off to the reeducation camps! Much to my dismay.

"The despotism of heaven is the one absolutely perfect government. An earthly despotism would be the absolutely perfect earthly government, if the conditions were the same, namely, the despot the perfectest individual of the human race, and his lease of life perpetual. But as a perishable perfect man must die, and leave his despotism in the hands of an imperfect successor, an earthly despotism is not merely a bad form of government, it is the worst form that is possible. "

-----Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
 
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