Groundhog Day in Illinois

[Jocko]

This just in: The GOP groundhog emerged from his hole at 6:30 pm last night, saw Republican Sentate candidate Jack Ryan's divorce records and scurried back into his den.

Of course, this means 6 more years of the name "Ryan" being political kryptonite in Illinois.

Jack Ryan must be gay. Ever seen Jerri Ryan?

What a perv. The funniest thing of all is that he thinks he's going to stay in the Senate race. I'm sure some high-ranking GOP officer will give him the Luca Brazzi treatment long before November.

 

[Snide]

Jack Ryan must be gay. Ever seen Jerri Ryan?

Ah yes, the only reason to ever watch Star Trek: Voyager...for me, anyway...

 

[Jocko]

Re: Re: Groundhog Day in Illinois

Ah yes, the only reason to ever watch Star Trek: Voyager...for me, anyway...

She's from my hometown of Wilmette, too. I've been spending the last two years constructing an elaborate lie that we dated in high school.

All I know is, I wouldn't need a series of seedy strip clubs to convince me to Seven her Nine.

 

[Jocko]

As I thought, Ryan's bailing out. If you ask me, he should never gotten in. The scariest thing is that other primary contenders like Oberweis have a clear shot at the nomination now.

Ryan follows the groundhog back underground