Good Lord, it's The Jesus Film...

[LizardPeople]

Received a package from my mother the other day. Enclosed without comment was a DVD entitled "The Jesus Film", obviously intended for either myself or my son. So I'm wondering... how should my mother be punished?

 

[c4ts]

By making her watch it.

 

[Marquis de Carabas]

Make her watch Manos, the Hands of Fate (not with the MST3K commentary either). Tell her it's a documentary about your new religious beliefs.

 

[Kopji]

Give a donation to them in her name using her e-mail address.
She'll get tons of religious spam when they sell her name to a mailing list.

 

[Riddick]

Received a package from my mother the other day. Enclosed without comment was a DVD entitled "The Jesus Film", obviously intended for either myself or my son. So I'm wondering... how should my mother be punished?

I'm sure you're punishment enough.

 

[Yahweh]

Re: Re: Good Lord, it's The Jesus Film...

I'm sure you're punishment enough.

From Genesis Chapter 3:

3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

 

[LizardPeople]

I thought of sending her a Marilyn Manson DVD just for the shock value, but Amazon has three differant titles and I couldn't decide on which to send her (and I'm too cheap to buy all three). Besides, Marilyn doesn't really reflect my real lifestyle any better than her Jesus does anyway.

Anybody know where I can get a bumper sticker that reads "Proud Parent of a Militant Athiest"? That would be cute.

 

[COCT]

Easy. Send her Monty Python's Life of Brian.

Just $9.90 including shipping at http://www.DeepDiscountDVD.com

(that's for the non-Criterion edition)

 

[evildave]

http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=1415883912

Over 4.7 billion people in 236 nations have watched the authentic portrayal of Christ in The Jesus Film. An now you can own the 25th Anniversary Deluxe Commemorative Edition to use as a witnessing tool for friends and family. This limited edition also features a bonus DVD of The Story of Jesus for Children, a look at the life of Jesus as seen through the eyes of children. Eight different languages are also included on the DVD.

4.7 billion People have watched 'The Jesus Film'???? Wow. I didn't know there were that many Christians in the whole world. OK, so there aren't. And to think I never even heard of it until I read this topic. I suppose if I had gone to a fundy church every time it was ever aired in one, and along with that audience was re-counted to inflate the numbers, I might have heard of it, too. I guess this is the sort of Christian work with numbers that gets you a "2/3 chance" of god existing, like in that other topic.

Definitely 'Life Of Brian' is a good flick.

'Zombie Christ' might be a good one to order for her as a gift, too.
http://andrew_larrison.home.comcast.net/NewFiles/ordernow.html
http://andrew_larrison.home.comcast.net/index.html

 

[Tricky]

http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=1415883912



4.7 billion People have watched 'The Jesus Film'????

No. Read carefully. Just 4.7 billion. It says nothing about "people". They're counting the insects in the room and any other non-human organisms, like Republicans.

 

[Iconoclast]

No. Read carefully. Just 4.7 billion. It says nothing about "people".

Um, "people" is the next word after "billion" in that sentence.

 

[LizardPeople]

...use as a witnessing tool for friends and family...

This company is actually promoting the harassment of innocent civilians! Can I sue them for my pain and suffering?

 

[Upchurch]

Well, you know, as time goes on and we grow as people, we aren't the people we once were. Even a few seconds can make a vast difference, so one person watching the movie many times is like many people watching the movie once....


okay, never mind. That's more of a stretch in logic than I can give with a straight face.

 

[Iconoclast]

This company is actually promoting the harassment of innocent civilians! Can I sue them for my pain and suffering?

Can somebody tell me what "witnessing" actually is? I confess I have no idea.

 

[LizardPeople]

Looks like I could get about ten bucks for it on eBay. I also found out that

Contributing to this DVD is George Bush, Larry King, David Copperfield, Billy Graham, Mother Theresa and many others.

Words fail me...

 

[LizardPeople]

Can somebody tell me what "witnessing" actually is?

"Witnessing" means sharing the good news of Christ's life and death with anyone and everyone. You're going straight to Hell, see, and it's Susie Christian's job to convert you to the one true faith before it's too late. Sure, from your point of view it looks a lot like constant harassment, but give her a break, man, she's trying to save your soul!

 

[c4ts]

Make her watch Manos, the Hands of Fate (not with the MST3K commentary either). Tell her it's a documentary about your new religious beliefs.

NOBODY deserves to be subjected to that kind of torture!

 

[FireGarden]

Years ago, my parents got "The Message" on video. It's an entertaining (though not convincing) portrayal of the beginnings of Islam. Even Muslims have to agree that it wasn't historically perfect, since it almost left out the main character. (Occasionally Mohammed is in the scene, but always off screen and silent. Tradition prefers that no actor play the role. Once you get used to that, it doesn't spoil the movie)

Anyway, I've certainly watched worse.

Anthony Quinn played a role, I forget who.



However, I'll add my vote to "Life of Brian".

 

[Some Friggin Guy]

The complete Series 1, 2, and 3 of Father Ted should do the trick.

 

[c4ts]

Received a package from my mother the other day. Enclosed without comment was a DVD entitled "The Jesus Film", obviously intended for either myself or my son. So I'm wondering... how should my mother be punished?

Make her watch Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter!