Mephisto
Philosopher
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2005
- Messages
- 6,064
Here's a little ammo when you're besieged by X-tians who insist that God is compassionate, loving, understanding and all those human traits we would LIKE to associate him with, but can't (especially if you believe the Bible).
God isn't really all that nice a guy.
Remember the golden calf? Well, God sure was angry after that; so much so that Moses had to talk Him out of killing ALL the people of Israel. Moses cut a deal with God by having everyone who didn't worship the golden calf prove their loyalty by killing those closest to them who did – parents, children, friends, relatives and even neighbors. Thousands are slaughtered, but that doesn't appease God who submits the survivors to a plague. (Exodus 32:7-14, 25-35)
Ever wanted to see God face to face? Well, apparently it's not too good for you as God Himself warned that anyone who sees his face will die, but rewarded Moses by allowing him to see His back - wonder if it was all hairy? (Exodus 33:18-23)
Do you remember the seven deadly sins? Well, look here to find out which one God tells Moses his name is; Exodus 34:14
What do Moses and Michael Jackson have in common? Look here to find the truth: Exodus 34:29-35
Do you like thong underwear? Anything less in God's tent could get you killed. (Exodus 28:42-43)
Does God hate intrusive government? Nope, he told Moses every time a census was taken the people of Israel had to pay a "ransom" for the maintenance on His tent. If refused, He would unleash the obligatory plague: (Exodus 30:11-16)
God's Jewish business practices; He forbids His people from lending money at interest to each other, but says it's okay to stiff a foreigner: (Deuteronomy 23:19-20)
Remember that dork in the eighth grade who had the accident on the trampoline in Phys. Ed? Well, he could be THE most devout Christian ever, but he's STILL not getting into heaven. Why? Because God's not taking anyone with crushed testicles or a severed penis; (Deuteronomy 23:1)
Hey! Here's one that sounds pretty familiar. When the twelve tribes of Israel finally reach the Promised Land they find a bunch of people already living on it. No problem, God orders Joshua and the people of Israel to kill them, only back then they didn't use tanks or aircraft like they do now: (Deuteronomy 20:10-18)
Those Amorites were like cockroaches. As a matter of fact, there were so many that God made the sun stand still for an entire day so that Joshua would have enough light to make sure he killed them all: (Joshua 10:12-14)
Okay, those are all "isolated incidents." God really is a loving God, right? "So Joshua defeated the whole land . . . He left no one remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God os Israel commanded." (Joshua 10:40)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Huh? God refuses to let King David build a temple for the Arc because David has killed too many people: (I Chronicles 22:6-8)
Dawn of the Dead; Elijah becomes the first Bible-recorded human to raise another person from the dead - several sequels followed. (I Kings 17:17-22)
Horseplay in the locker room – Elijah parts the Jordan River by smacking it with his cloak: (II Kings 2:11)
God is into Megadeath – pile those bodies high; "The Lord is at your right hand; He will shatter kings on the day of His wrath. He will execute judgement among the nations, filling them with corpses." (Psalm 68:21, 23)
What are those advantages to being the chosen people again? "You only have I chosen of all the families of the earth; therefore I will punish you for all your sins." (Amos 3:2)
George Dubya is going to put God on the "Axis of Evil" list if he finds this out; "When disaster comes to a city, has not the Lord caused it?" (Amos 3:6)
Is God safe on colors? How many loads of laundry can you do a week with God? Just what kind of laundry soap is God? (Malachi 3:2)
Catcher in the Rye, The Wizard of Oz, Harry Potter . . . what do they have in common? They all been banned/burned by the Christian church. The very FIRST book burning in the name of Jesus happened here; (Acts 19:17-19)
Oh, THIS explains all those abortion clinic bombings and shootings; " . . . a person is justified not by the works of the law, but through faith in Jesus Christ." (Galatians 2:16), ". . . if justification comes through the law, then Christ died for nothing." (Galatians 2:21) and, "Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law." (Galatians 3:25)
Do you think being the nicest guy/girl on earth would be a worthy Christian trait? No way, they're not out to be your friends; "Whoever wishes to become a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
What's special about page 907 of a 923 page Bible? It's the first appearance of the phase, "God is love." (I John 4:8) After what we already know about God, people STILL don't question this, much in the same way they don't question the phrase, "the economy is picking up, the war in Iraq is going well, WMD, lies, destruction and death. Hey, did I just compare Dubya's dismal record with God's dismal record? Wow, I see what they have in common.
There are 2.1 billion Christians on this earth, and out of all of them only 144,000 will have a ticket on the RaptureRoadways bus. Certainly out of 2.1 billion people there must be more than 144,000 devout Christians, what is the criteria for choosing who goes on the tour? Too bad if you hate long lines.
God isn't really all that nice a guy.
Remember the golden calf? Well, God sure was angry after that; so much so that Moses had to talk Him out of killing ALL the people of Israel. Moses cut a deal with God by having everyone who didn't worship the golden calf prove their loyalty by killing those closest to them who did – parents, children, friends, relatives and even neighbors. Thousands are slaughtered, but that doesn't appease God who submits the survivors to a plague. (Exodus 32:7-14, 25-35)
Ever wanted to see God face to face? Well, apparently it's not too good for you as God Himself warned that anyone who sees his face will die, but rewarded Moses by allowing him to see His back - wonder if it was all hairy? (Exodus 33:18-23)
Do you remember the seven deadly sins? Well, look here to find out which one God tells Moses his name is; Exodus 34:14
What do Moses and Michael Jackson have in common? Look here to find the truth: Exodus 34:29-35
Do you like thong underwear? Anything less in God's tent could get you killed. (Exodus 28:42-43)
Does God hate intrusive government? Nope, he told Moses every time a census was taken the people of Israel had to pay a "ransom" for the maintenance on His tent. If refused, He would unleash the obligatory plague: (Exodus 30:11-16)
God's Jewish business practices; He forbids His people from lending money at interest to each other, but says it's okay to stiff a foreigner: (Deuteronomy 23:19-20)
Remember that dork in the eighth grade who had the accident on the trampoline in Phys. Ed? Well, he could be THE most devout Christian ever, but he's STILL not getting into heaven. Why? Because God's not taking anyone with crushed testicles or a severed penis; (Deuteronomy 23:1)
Hey! Here's one that sounds pretty familiar. When the twelve tribes of Israel finally reach the Promised Land they find a bunch of people already living on it. No problem, God orders Joshua and the people of Israel to kill them, only back then they didn't use tanks or aircraft like they do now: (Deuteronomy 20:10-18)
Those Amorites were like cockroaches. As a matter of fact, there were so many that God made the sun stand still for an entire day so that Joshua would have enough light to make sure he killed them all: (Joshua 10:12-14)
Okay, those are all "isolated incidents." God really is a loving God, right? "So Joshua defeated the whole land . . . He left no one remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the Lord God os Israel commanded." (Joshua 10:40)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Huh? God refuses to let King David build a temple for the Arc because David has killed too many people: (I Chronicles 22:6-8)
Dawn of the Dead; Elijah becomes the first Bible-recorded human to raise another person from the dead - several sequels followed. (I Kings 17:17-22)
Horseplay in the locker room – Elijah parts the Jordan River by smacking it with his cloak: (II Kings 2:11)
God is into Megadeath – pile those bodies high; "The Lord is at your right hand; He will shatter kings on the day of His wrath. He will execute judgement among the nations, filling them with corpses." (Psalm 68:21, 23)
What are those advantages to being the chosen people again? "You only have I chosen of all the families of the earth; therefore I will punish you for all your sins." (Amos 3:2)
George Dubya is going to put God on the "Axis of Evil" list if he finds this out; "When disaster comes to a city, has not the Lord caused it?" (Amos 3:6)
Is God safe on colors? How many loads of laundry can you do a week with God? Just what kind of laundry soap is God? (Malachi 3:2)
Catcher in the Rye, The Wizard of Oz, Harry Potter . . . what do they have in common? They all been banned/burned by the Christian church. The very FIRST book burning in the name of Jesus happened here; (Acts 19:17-19)
Oh, THIS explains all those abortion clinic bombings and shootings; " . . . a person is justified not by the works of the law, but through faith in Jesus Christ." (Galatians 2:16), ". . . if justification comes through the law, then Christ died for nothing." (Galatians 2:21) and, "Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law." (Galatians 3:25)
Do you think being the nicest guy/girl on earth would be a worthy Christian trait? No way, they're not out to be your friends; "Whoever wishes to become a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."
What's special about page 907 of a 923 page Bible? It's the first appearance of the phase, "God is love." (I John 4:8) After what we already know about God, people STILL don't question this, much in the same way they don't question the phrase, "the economy is picking up, the war in Iraq is going well, WMD, lies, destruction and death. Hey, did I just compare Dubya's dismal record with God's dismal record? Wow, I see what they have in common.
There are 2.1 billion Christians on this earth, and out of all of them only 144,000 will have a ticket on the RaptureRoadways bus. Certainly out of 2.1 billion people there must be more than 144,000 devout Christians, what is the criteria for choosing who goes on the tour? Too bad if you hate long lines.
