God Sits Down Net to You in a Bar

halleyscomet

Penultimate Amazing
halleyscomet
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Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.

What do you ask god?
 
halleyscomet said:
Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.

What do you ask god?
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Well, since I hardly ever go to bars, I doubt that I would ever meet God in one, but just supposing that I did, right off hand I can think of a few things to ask:

So just what existed before you created this universe?

Are there other planets with intelligent life? And if so, then where?

Is faster than light travel possible? And if so how?
 
halleyscomet said:
Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.

What do you ask god?
Click to expand...

First I'd ask the cheapskate to buy me a beer. Then I'd ask who created him.
 
halleyscomet said:
Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.
Click to expand...

"If you touch me, I will scream. Go away."
 
Monketey Ghost said:
Is there an afterlife?
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That's a good one. Though I'd be afraid of an affirmative answer, followed by an ominous laugh.

I might ask why all the mystery, allowing everyone to come up with different messages, leading to so many conflicts, wars and suffering? Why not just stick around, and keep the tablets up-to-date, so we all know what's what? Did you really leave humanity because of Adam and Eve's disobedience? Why must the rest of humanity inherit that crime? Or if Christianity got the story wrong, who got it right?

I think if we ever got this far, I'd be so far into my 5th beer that any more discussion wouldn't really be constructive.
 
halleyscomet said:
Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.

What do you ask god?
Click to expand...

That's two different "gods"; if he's only demonstrating that he's "the being responsible for creating the Universe," I ask him Monketey Ghost's question, since an afterlife isn't necessarily implied in "Creator." If he's indeed "God" in the Christian sense, I don't ask him anything at all; to quote Dr McCoy, "you don't ask the Almighty for his ID!" Not even if he offers it.
 
halleyscomet said:
Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.

What do you ask god?
Click to expand...

Can you make a burrito so hot that even you can't eat it?

Are you aware you're impinging on my free will here?

Then I punch him in the face and say "That one was for humanity".
 
Denver said:
That's a good one. Though I'd be afraid of an affirmative answer, followed by an ominous laugh.

I might ask why all the mystery, allowing everyone to come up with different messages, leading to so many conflicts, wars and suffering? Why not just stick around, and keep the tablets up-to-date, so we all know what's what? Did you really leave humanity because of Adam and Eve's disobedience? Why must the rest of humanity inherit that crime? Or if Christianity got the story wrong, who got it right?

I think if we ever got this far, I'd be so far into my 5th beer that any more discussion wouldn't really be constructive.
Click to expand...

I have given it more thought and my first question would really be, "How can I know that what you tell me is true?"
 
Is Lee Travino right - Not even God can play a 5 iron?

Where is Jimi Hoffa buried?

How long has he been a Green Packer fan?

Is Eta Carinae a binary?
 
Denver said:
I guess the same way you know it's god who is sitting there?
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That's my big problem.
I've had this conversation with a religious friend and I conceded that if a supernatural being showed up in front of me claiming to be God, I'd conclude that I'd lost my mind.
 
halleyscomet said:
Assume for a moment God sits down next to you in a bar. He provides evidence that demonstrates, to you, that he is indeed "God" or at least the being responsible for creating the Universe. He then offers you a question and answer period.

What do you ask god?
Click to expand...


1) Why have you, to this point, kept evidence of your existence and nature secreted away, such that your creation is almost constantly at war with itself over who you are, what you want, etc. ?

2) Do you intend to reveal and prove your identity to the rest of the world as you have done for me here?

3) If #2 is "no", why not? If "yes", then when and how?


Depending on the answers to the above I'd most likely get into details like "do you really care if people eat pork", "do you really think masturbation is wrong", and all the other bits.

I'd also inject a statement at some point : "You're rockin' that cowboy hat, man.".
 
I'd immediately call Woody Allen. "There's someone here I know you'll wanna meet and I'm afraid to ask him questions without you there."
 
MG1962 said:
Is Lee Travino right - Not even God can play a 5 iron?
Click to expand...

[snark] The quote is "not even God can hit a one iron" (relating to what Trevino is claimed to have said after having been struck by lightning on the golf course once if it started with lightning again - hold a one iron up in the air because not even God can hit a one iron) [/snark]

I'm not sure what I'd say but I'd certainly be wondering whether I'd been slipped a mickey if I thought I was sitting next to God.
 
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