• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Florida...Another Fun "Murder Death Kill"

Foolmewunz

Grammar Resistance Leader, TLA Dictator
Foolmewunz
Joined
Aug 11, 2006
Messages
41,468
Location
Pattaya, Thailand
Hey, Florida's at it again. (You can save time - the tags above describe it fully if you're not an Evelyn Woods grad.)



I do love stumbling across a spicy risque murder in the Business section of the Times!

http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/04/the-fast-life-and-strange-death-of-hedge-fund-manager/

Evidently the "heart attack/drowning" death of Seth Tobias has riled his brothers, who just coincidentally are the heirs to his estate in a will made before his marriage (which nearly broke up and was reconciled*).

So, they've filed a civil suit, where as we all know, you can state anything and accuse anyone of anything. They're accusing the wife of getting him drugged up, luring him into the swimming pool with promises of sex with a male stripper named Tiger, who is named such because he has tattooed stripes on his body, and then drowning him. (Seth, not Tiger! Pay attention, dammit! I don't want to have to repeat this.)

As they comment in the article.... How long before this is on CSI? This one could be more sordid then the Anna Nicole stuff. Does anyone know if Judge Neurotic is available? Actually, it's getting to the point that CSI Miami may have to pay royalties to the courts in Florida. Ya couldn't make this stuff up!

*If we're to take any of this seriously, that's the part that gets my suspicion genes going. He had enough time to have changed the will, but as they had nearly separated, I'm guessing he didn't want to leave her his estate and left it to his siblings intentionally.

And then there's the "the police are waiting for the toxicology reports" part... I think he died on labor day. Is the Florida Election Commision now running the police labs? (Alternately, they may have only asked for the reports after the siblings filed their civil suit accusing the wife, and that's just a gratuitous swipe at the 2000 elections.)

:spjimlad::spjimlad::spjimlad:
 
We've had a few kids over here kill their family to get to the family home and sell it for cash, cars and girls. The big mistake one guy made was to go out the day after the murder and start looking at Porsches.
 
This is what caught my eye:

The brothers, Samuel, Spence, Scott and Joshua
Click to expand...

And the victim's name was Seth. Seth, Samuel, Spence, Scott, and Joshua. Which of these things is not like the others? Which of these things does not belong? Did their mother finally snap on the last pregnancy and refuse to continue the theme? Or did they honestly not even notice that four of their five kids had names starting with the same letter? Or was Joshua originally Sean, but got fed up and rebelled, changing his name legally?

Now that's a compelling mystery.
 
TragicMonkey said:
This is what caught my eye:



And the victim's name was Seth. Seth, Samuel, Spence, Scott, and Joshua. Which of these things is not like the others? Which of these things does not belong? Did their mother finally snap on the last pregnancy and refuse to continue the theme? Or did they honestly not even notice that four of their five kids had names starting with the same letter? Or was Joshua originally Sean, but got fed up and rebelled, changing his name legally?

Now that's a compelling mystery.
Click to expand...

So, it's obvious, Joshua(nee Sean) did it. He's in on it with the "I know, instead of arranging the funeral I'll call to have the pool drained and cleaned" wife.
 
Foolmewunz said:
So, it's obvious, Joshua(nee Sean) did it. He's in on it with the "I know, instead of arranging the funeral I'll call to have the pool drained and cleaned" wife.
Click to expand...

Either that, or the others conspired and he's the sole innocent one.

Maybe.....he's actually Tiger! It was all an elaborate scheme to get together with his brother's wife. He always resented his S siblings, so he got tattooed and a job as a stripper, disguised himself, pretended to be interested in his own brother, then once his guard was down he and the wife killed him. The only way to know is for Detective Sipowicz to rough him up, tearing his shirt and exposing a tiger stripe.

God, I should so write for television. Is that strike still on?
 
This is a story that screams for pictures. I can't find any on the web. I've got to see what the little woman looks like (Filomena?) and the description of Tiger just leaves on slavering for a pic.


(Unfortunately, the story that's being picked up came from those pests at the NY Times, and they go for things like "words" and "information" and "reporting".)
 
I wonder if this Seth is related to Andrew Tobias.

On the one hand, we have yet another hedge fund, Wall Street crook dying of a cocaine overdose. Not news. Rock stars have been dying of drug overdoses for years, as have others with more money than common sense.

No loss to the world, hedge fund crooks are proliferating, but such a death is a loss to his family, which is rarely anything other than sad.
The brothers, Samuel, Spence, Scott and Joshua, claim Mrs. Tobias drugged her husband and lured him into the pool. Bill Ash, a former assistant to Mr. Tobias, said he had told the police that Mrs. Tobias confessed to him that she had cajoled her husband into the water while he was on a cocaine binge with a promise of sex with a male go-go dancer known as Tiger.
Click to expand...
Was this "Tiger" a low handicap golfer, by any chance? :cool:

OK, jokes aside, my brain has a bit of trouble grokking this bit:

As alleged by his brothers: Tobias' wife lures her husband into the pool, enticing him with the idea that he, Tobias, gets to have sex with this exotic male dancer, or, that he gets to watch her with this exotic male dancer, or, that the three of them will do erotic and exotic things to one another in the pool.

I can't figure out what is meant by that bit.

The later tid bits indicate that the two of them often frequented gay bars, apparently due to them both liking the entertainment available there.

Tobias seems to have met the James Dean paradigm:

live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.

DR
 
Last edited:
Maybe, there is no Tiger. Maybe the wife dressed up as a male stripper to throw suspicion onto someone who doesn't exist! Or maybe the male stripper was actually the victim, and the husband took over his identity, even to the extent of getting the tattoos! Each shocking twist more shockingly twisted than the last! This is going to be the awesomest movie since someone choked M. Night Shalalamanalhalhahahn to death with the collected works of Hitchcock on VHS, and filmed it.

I think it'll all hinge on identity swapping. The man who died was actually the wife. Tiger is now masquerading as the wife, and the victim is pretending to be Tiger. Joshua is blackmailing them because he knows all about it, so soon he'll be murdered...but in disguise as Tiger. The original "victim" will then take on the identity of Joshua, and pretend to be a ghost and haunt the other brothers so he can find out where the treasure is. The Nazi gold their grandfather stole during WWII. If he can trick his other brothers out of their portions of the map, he can find where it's buried. I'd guess...someplace starting with "S"!
 
TragicMonkey said:
I think it'll all hinge on identity swapping. The man who died was actually the wife. Tiger is now masquerading as the wife, and the victim is pretending to be Tiger. Joshua is blackmailing them because he knows all about it, so soon he'll be murdered...but in disguise as Tiger. The original "victim" will then take on the identity of Joshua, and pretend to be a ghost and haunt the other brothers so he can find out where the treasure is. The Nazi gold their grandfather stole during WWII. If he can trick his other brothers out of their portions of the map, he can find where it's buried. I'd guess...someplace starting with "S"!
Click to expand...

Sarasota, Florida.

TM, you bring the shovel, I bring the beer, we may get rich quick.

DR
 
Darth Rotor said:
Sarasota, Florida.

TM, you bring the shovel, I bring the beer, we may get rich quick.

DR
Click to expand...

It's Nazi gold. Which means it's in Europe somewhere. A little village in Austria called Straussenheimnchschelemusserwassergotterdammerungensteinenburgenschleiss or something. A musical name that falls from the tongue as gently as those lead weights Galileo threw at the pope from atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa. A "campanile" is a belltower.
 
TragicMonkey said:
It's Nazi gold. Which means it's in Europe somewhere. A little village in Austria called Straussenheimnchschelemusserwassergotterdammerungensteinenburgenschleiss or something. A musical name that falls from the tongue as gently as those lead weights Galileo threw at the pope from atop the Leaning Tower of Pisa. A "campanile" is a belltower.
Click to expand...
More likely it's Salzburg. They have belltowers there, and none of the dogs are named Fatcher. ;)

DR
 
I'm getting very worried. I actually understand every word in this thread.:spjimlad::spjimlad:

Where are the pictures, though?
 
calebprime said:
Fatcher. A new device for removal of fat in pericardial suction blood.

WOW, my fatcher boght a new computer for me today!

:confused:
Click to expand...

Oops, I goofed that one up.

From Arlo.com, it's

Fasha the dog.

Fatcher?

Uh, I think I have to chug for that one. :p

DR
 
I saw the thread title and thought this would be another "Engrish" thread.
 
BPSCG said:
I saw the thread title and thought this would be another "Engrish" thread.
Click to expand...

I can easily imagine a brand of Japanese laundry detergent called "Murder Death Kill". It would be hamster-flavored, and come with a toy plastic octopus for no apparent reason.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom