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Dung Coffee

madurobob

Philosopher
madurobob
Joined
Jul 20, 2007
Messages
7,401
Location
Blue Heaven
Its not a new concept, but the story on NPR today introduced a new form factor for me - elephants:
Canadian entrepreneur Blake Dinkin, 44, is betting his life savings that he can turn his idea into, well, gold. Here's the catch: His is made by passing coffee beans through the not insubstantial stomachs of elephants and then picking the beans out of, well, yeah, that.
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Anyway, after sharing the usual "what the hell is wrong with people?" words with my colleague, she said something along the lines of "can't they simply replicate the conditions of the elephants digestive system in the lab and get the exact same results? That'd be so much better!"

I looked at her a bit sideways and said that if the lab had the same inputs, the same digestive juices - bacterial flora,enzymes, heat, mixing, etc... they could, in theory, get the same output.

But if its the same output... then its the same output! How can the exact same thing be ok on the one hand and disgusting on the other?

She looked at me like I was a complete idiot and said "because one comes out of an elephant's *******!"

So, the stupidity of elephant poop coffee aside, what do you think - if the end product is identical would you be more likely to try the *all natural* elephant poop coffee, or the lab-created elephant poop coffee?
 
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like ******"
"Funny you should say that..."

I've heard that pig **** blend has been popular in Vietnam and other places for years.
 
Howie Felterbush said:
Taster's Choice is looking better all the time.

Put me down for the lab-created version. I guess I'm just squeamish about ingesting anything that has passed through another animal's balloon knot.
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But the lab has the same stuff! Its basically all the gnarly insides of the elephant without the wrinkly gray outside!

What if the lab, for authenticity, procures a genuine, dyed in the wool elephant anus to perform the final excretion though which the lab workers sift for coffee beens?
 
madurobob said:
So, the stupidity of elephant poop coffee aside, what do you think - if the end product is identical would you be more likely to try the *all natural* elephant poop coffee, or the lab-created elephant poop coffee?
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The lab stuff, because it would likely be cheaper and have fewer bacteria. Incidentally, Kopi Luwak is a type of coffee which is harvested from palm civet feces.
 
madurobob said:
But the lab has the same stuff! Its basically all the gnarly insides of the elephant without the wrinkly gray outside!

What if the lab, for authenticity, procures a genuine, dyed in the wool elephant anus to perform the final excretion though which the lab workers sift for coffee beens?
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Elephants have wool? I thought that was sheep.

Where's Shemp? He'll settle this.

:D

All kidding and anus jokes aside, I guess I wouldn't stand in line for a cup of either. But if they're chemically the same, and the real elephant-produced stuff is one hundred percent poop-particle free, then I suppose I'd try it, as long as you have a cup with me.
 
I once saw a joke come to life when a friend of my then girlfriend borrowed a bikini from her, walked out on to the beach like she owned it, (& she was what we then called "hot to pieces") only to run back inside in tears when she was told "No. That's my underwear."

It took about 2hrs for the girls to convince her to come back outside. Once outside she apologized for being so crass as to come out in underwear while wearing someting much more revealing... human nature is wierd...
 
Redtail said:
Once outside she apologized for being so crass as to come out in underwear while wearing someting much more revealing... human nature is wierd...
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That's society, not human nature. Human nature would have you naked on the beach. There's no reason to wear clothing into the water that I can see. It's just a sense of modesty ingrained into us by society.
 
Meh it's coffee. Mixing it with crap probably wouldn't make it taste any worse.
 
I love coffee but have no interest in the butt-beans. I'll just take my ordinary, non-**** beans.
 
Axiom_Blade said:
The lab stuff, because it would likely be cheaper and have fewer bacteria. Incidentally, Kopi Luwak is a type of coffee which is harvested from palm civet feces.
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Yes, the guy (ahem) behind thiis elephant **** coffee, is said to have previously been involved in civet **** coffee.

But, as for fewer bacteria - no! The lab replicates the elephant digestive process in every way!
 
Wild elephants may go extinct because people kill them for money. If businessmen can make live elephants profitable, people may let them live. Part of the appeal of this coffee is that it helps save the species.
 
I had a similar conversation recently regarding "organic" food. I said that I would prefer nice, clean nitrogen fertilizer vs. poop on my onions, thank you.
 
Axiom_Blade said:
That's society, not human nature. Human nature would have you naked on the beach. There's no reason to wear clothing into the water that I can see. It's just a sense of modesty ingrained into us by society.
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Society then. Though I would say clothing helps keep dangly bits away from crabs, lobsters, & such.
 
carlitos said:
I had a similar conversation recently regarding "organic" food. I said that I would prefer nice, clean nitrogen fertilizer vs. poop on my onions, thank you.
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Some of the crazier "back to nature" folks are into something called "humanure"....and it's exactly what it sounds like.
 
It depends on the taste. I tried the cat-poop coffee and it wasn't that different from a typical espresso.
 
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