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Does god have a colon?

bpesta22

Cereal Killer
Joined
Jul 31, 2001
Messages
4,942
If so, why? Does god need it to digest food?

An all powerful being should need no thing, including any thing listed in the four food groups.

God might eat stuff for pleasure, but he cannot eat to satisfy a need. The whole process of eating, however is driven by need. And, once we eat something, we then need other things to process that something; and then we need still other things to remove the waste that we cannot process further.

It's a viscious chain of neediness that seems very ungodlike:

-We need to eat so we can convert food to energy. An all perfect god, by definition, shouldn't need more energy.

-We need other muscles and organs that remove the food-waste that we couldn't process. Two problems here: (1) If god ate things, there would be no waste-- no unprocessed foods-- as waste implies imperfection. (2) As argued above, it's a moot point, as an all perfect god wouldn't *need a digestive system anyway.

I think it's clear that if god is all perfect, he neither defacates or urinates (on the bright side, god likely won't ever hassle us for leaving the seat up!).

So, god doesn't have a digestive system, but god supposedly created us in his image (Genesis, 1:24, "So god created man in his own image, in the image of god created he him; male and female..."). But, us god-made humans devote a large part of our bodies to the processing of foods; whereas, god does not need these things.

How can we be created in his image?

Does god bleed? That implies he can be cut. Does god have a circulatory system? That implies he needs air to replenish his blood. And, if he doesn't need his blood replenished, he also needs neither air, nor a set of lungs to breath it with.

What about a nervous system? A large part of human wiring is devoted to processing things that might harm us (i.e., by sending pain signals). No thing can harm the all powerful, and certainly god should not feel pain (pain implies something can hurt god). So neural wiring in an all poweful god is at best unnecessary and at worst a contradiction.

One last example: Do god's eyes work like ours? If so, god can only see a limited range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Ironically, there are other animals (god's lesser creations!) that can see better than us (and therefore better than god, whose eyes ours were fashioned from!).

I'd bet we can continue this thought experiment with every other biological sub-system that makes us human. Human's are some needy creations, and all of the biology that makes us human would be unnecessary or even contradictory if present in a being that was all powerful.

If god is indeed all powerful, he'd can't possibly resemble anything remotely human.
 
He has a great white throne (Revelation 20:11 – 15), so maybe he has a colon.
 
Perhaps he'd have a colon, since the last step in digestion is breaking down the remaining cell walls to extract water. However, he would not have a bunghole since there's nothing He cannot digest, and hence nothing to excrete. And, like Commander Data, he only needs to eat to enjoy or experience eating, rather than for actual sustenance. But since he knows everything, such as the taste, nay, the very totality of the experience, of eating every single dish possible, he can simply recall or imagine it with 100% accuracy as if He were actually eating it at that moment. Hence he has no need to actually eat, even just for the experience of it.
 
Hmm... eating for eternity, but no colon. Perhaps we have another entry into the "what caused the big bang" contest.
 
So does the devil:

Peak Cavern
 
God made man in his image, so of course God has a colon and needs to eat, just like we do.
 
The Christian God has a colon but doesn't know how to use it properly. In fact, from what I read on forums he often seems to have trouble remembering how to use commas and periods. Exclamation points are a particular favorite though.

[edit] The Hindus were always good at punctuation. Witness the Comma Sutra.
 
Does god have a colon? No. But "god:" does... ;)

See, these debates about any attribute that is assumed to exist in infinite extent or quantity (omnipotence, omnipresence, etc.) runs up against logical objections that indicate the absurdity attending such an assumption. Usually, believers simply and conveniently dismiss these objections as a mere semantic trick or, more commonly, as a failure on our part to understand the "true nature" of god, a feat they often claim is attainable through faith, and thereby they miss the whole point of such arguments.

'Luthon64
 
Yup. It's an invulnerable armor crafted out of nothing, but strong as its "protection" against outside assault is, whoever wears it becomes all the weaker for it.
 
Perhaps we have another entry into the "what caused the big bang" contest.

See, I've always interpreted the 'big bang' in a more... uh... procreative sense. The creation event ties in with the sacred feminine. There is an inherent sexuality in the 'birth' of the univ... blithery blithery blithery
 
I believe many Christians interpret the phrase "made in his image" to refer not to our physical bodies, but rather to our souls or something like that, and assume that the only physical body God has is that one which ran around in Galilee a few millenia ago.
 
I believe many Christians interpret the phrase "made in his image" to refer not to our physical bodies, but rather to our souls or something like that, and assume that the only physical body God has is that one which ran around in Galilee a few millenia ago.
Mary Magdalene's?
 
See, I've always interpreted the 'big bang' in a more... uh... procreative sense. The creation event ties in with the sacred feminine. There is an inherent sexuality in the 'birth' of the univ... blithery blithery blithery

In order to interpret the 'big bang' thusly, you will need the expert assistance of Zaphod Beeblebrox, who was described by Eccentrica Galumbits (the triple-breated whore of Eroticon Six) as "the best bang since the big one."
 
Thank goodness for her without whom no Guide user would ever notice the entry for "Earth."
 

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