• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Did JFK Commit Suicide?

shemp

a flimsy character...perfidious and despised
Joined
Nov 5, 2002
Messages
69,438
Location
The U.S., a wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Shocking New Information Emerges About the Death of President Kennedy

Overwhelmingly distraught over the strange death of his mistress Marilyn Monroe 15 months earlier, the Kennedy family's unfortunate ties to the Mafia, his chronic health problems requiring his taking a laundry list of prescription medications, and other stressors, President Kennedy felt he had no choice but to end it all. But how? The nation's chief executive could not be seen taking his own life. The country's image was at stake. It had to have the appearance of an assassination. So casting about for a person who could help, Kennedy settled on Lee Harvey Oswald, a low-level U.S. intelligence operative stuck in a career rut. But this was a big deal. Oswald would risk being caught and accused of killing the president. No small potatoes. So Kennedy promised to arrange his escape and offered to pay him $1.5 million. Oswald agreed and hired an accomplice to help with the plan.

Even Barry Bonds was involved! Read all about it!
 
So, as usual, rather than choosing to accidentally fall down the stairs or have a fatal accident with a lawn mower- JFK just had to make it a tad more complicated than was necessary.

I don't get why they always do that.

:D
 
I've laughed so many times in the last few hours.
JREF is a comedy goldmine today.

This thread is a very good example.
Did JFK Commit Suicide?
The title of the thread in itself is so wonderfully silly that I think, on seeing it, I might have laid a little brown egg.

It is a comedic masterpiece.
 
Here's what happened really


Laugh if you want, but I have evidence that IT REALLY HAPPENED!!11!

When JFK ordered the moon landing, he also issued a super secret order to NASA to develop a super secret time machine, so that if the moon landing went wrong, he could jump into the time machine, go back in time, and start it all over again!

Well, what nobody in our time line knows is that the moon landing got screwed up (Michael Collins pulled a gun and hijacked Apollo 11 to Cuba), so JFK went back to fix it. However, other things went wrong, so he had to keep going back. Then things got really screwy (Marilyn Monroe was having affairs with 8 different JFKs!), so the JFKs started bumping each other off. What we saw in our time line was actually JFK VII killing JFK IV.

In the end, there could be only one. There's one JFK out there in some other time line. When we reinvent the time machine, we'll find him.
 
The Onion needs to update their article...

The-Onion-JFK-Assassination.jpg
 
Can we assume that Governor Connally and James Tague were merely suffering from a bout of depression induced self-mutilation, then?

Did James Brady suffer from body dysmorphic disorder?

Was Harvey Milk struggling with homophobic feelings?
 
It was the grassy knoll what done it.......dangerous things grassy knolls
 
It was the grassy knoll what done it.......dangerous things grassy knolls

A grassy knøll once bit my sister. No realli! She was karving her initials on the knøll with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush....
 

Back
Top Bottom