*ding* *dong*
Ye-es?
Good day, friend, we are here to bring you the good news of Joseph Stalin.
Um-m-m, i don't think so. Bye!
Please, hear us out. We just want a couple minutes of your time. Don't miss out on the good things that Stalin has for you!
Look, no offense but-- i've heard it all before, and it's not for me.
Truly? Can you share with us? We would like to know what your objections to Stalin are.
Wel-l-l-l, i um, i really don't like the part where if you disobey Stalin, he puts you in the Gulag. I mean, right there, how can you say Stalin is good? If anyone else did that, we'd say they were an evil tyrant!
Sigh, we hear that so much. But it's actually a misunderstanding. That's right, Stalin doesn't send anyone to the Gulag!
But, but, i've always heard--
That's not how it works. No, actually the people who end up in the Gulag are those who send themselves there.
Huh?
You see, all of us start out with a reactionary nature. You, me, my buddy here, we all have naturally subversive thoughts. By rights, we all deserve to go to the Gulag. But Stalin has withheld judgement. He has offered each of us an out, a chance to be set free from that reactionary nature and become a new soviet man. Or woman! Right, or woman too, let's not get hung up on old fashioned wording. The fact is that Stalin wants everyone to reach the Workers' Paradise! And all we have to do is turn away from our counter revolutionary activities and our bourgoise attitudes, and embrace the words of Stalin.
And if i don't?
Well if you reject Stalin's simple plan, then you reject his love and forgiveness, and must suffer the consequences.
Meaning the Gulag.
Meaning you have willfully remained in a state of subversion, and that is where it will take you.
Right. As i said, you disobey Stalin and he puts you in the Gulag.
No, he offers you a free choice.
How about i choose to not follow Stalin but i also choose not to go to the Gulag?
That choice is not available.
Like i said, i've heard it all before. Please go away.
*slam*
Ye-es?
Good day, friend, we are here to bring you the good news of Joseph Stalin.
Um-m-m, i don't think so. Bye!
Please, hear us out. We just want a couple minutes of your time. Don't miss out on the good things that Stalin has for you!
Look, no offense but-- i've heard it all before, and it's not for me.
Truly? Can you share with us? We would like to know what your objections to Stalin are.
Wel-l-l-l, i um, i really don't like the part where if you disobey Stalin, he puts you in the Gulag. I mean, right there, how can you say Stalin is good? If anyone else did that, we'd say they were an evil tyrant!
Sigh, we hear that so much. But it's actually a misunderstanding. That's right, Stalin doesn't send anyone to the Gulag!
But, but, i've always heard--
That's not how it works. No, actually the people who end up in the Gulag are those who send themselves there.
Huh?
You see, all of us start out with a reactionary nature. You, me, my buddy here, we all have naturally subversive thoughts. By rights, we all deserve to go to the Gulag. But Stalin has withheld judgement. He has offered each of us an out, a chance to be set free from that reactionary nature and become a new soviet man. Or woman! Right, or woman too, let's not get hung up on old fashioned wording. The fact is that Stalin wants everyone to reach the Workers' Paradise! And all we have to do is turn away from our counter revolutionary activities and our bourgoise attitudes, and embrace the words of Stalin.
And if i don't?
Well if you reject Stalin's simple plan, then you reject his love and forgiveness, and must suffer the consequences.
Meaning the Gulag.
Meaning you have willfully remained in a state of subversion, and that is where it will take you.
Right. As i said, you disobey Stalin and he puts you in the Gulag.
No, he offers you a free choice.
How about i choose to not follow Stalin but i also choose not to go to the Gulag?
That choice is not available.
Like i said, i've heard it all before. Please go away.
*slam*