A member on another forum I frequent posted this. Apparently this person was an "ex-Christian" but had the following experience that has reaffirmed her faith, so to speak. I thought I'd post it to see what you guys thought of it. How would you guys explain it? Sleep paralysis? The power of suggestion?
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I know that you may or may not believe me, but you can check out my member status and my past posts. I understand your feelings completely. I have been there where you are now, and I am not going to arrogantly tell you that I know everything there is to know about Jesus and Christianity. All that can be said is that since I have last posted here, things in my life have changed dramatically...things that no one could have told me about because they would have gotten a steely silence with me thinking they have lost their mind and have absolutely no idea of what they are talking about. What I can tell you for those of you who are not familiar with my past posts, is that I was once a Christian who left the Faith completely, then felt anger, betrayal, hurt, loneliness, misunderstood, judged, etc. Then, came the acceptance of life without Christianity and/or God/Jesus. Then, there came a sort of peace....for awhile. After some time, life started feeling empty and cold, Christian songs that had once irritated me to no end would begin to sound good again (although I felt the words were stupid and uneducated). The music was good in at least some of them, I felt.
My husband's cousin was coming over with his family on occasion (who is a Christian), and we would have friendly debates as we are both educated somewhat in Christianity. I can say I have been studying the Bible since I was at least 9 years old. There are many things I don't understand though, and many lessons I have forgotten. Then, one day, the emptiness was overwhelming me, and I called out to God (just in case He really was there) as I felt "who can really know?". I said a feeble little prayer of "Okay, God.....if You really do love me as much as the Bible and all these Christians say You do, then help me to believe in You. If You are really all these things, then I want to believe in You. If You are real, then show me an angel.....show me spirits....help me....", and then I went to a sad but resigned sleep as nothing seemed to happen.
Probably a couple of weeks went by. I forgot all about my prayer. We have 2 cats living in our house, and every night I always lock them out of our bedroom so we can sleep as they tend to run around and pounce on us in the night. It was sometime after we had both gone to sleep when I awoke to the feeling of something jumping up on our bed and laying upon my leg. I could clearly feel the weight. I got up thinking that one of the cats must have somehow managed to stay in our room when I thought for sure I had cast them out before we went to bed. I got up and opened our door never taking my eyes off the light that wafted into our bedroom from our living room so I could see when our "cat" left our bedroom. No cat ever left, and after a few seconds, I could plainly see our 2 cats trotting toward me down our hallway from our living room. Again, we only have 2 cats, and there was no way I would have missed a cat leaving our bedroom to go into the living room to join our other cat and then come back over to me again. My husband asked me what I was doing, and I did not know what to say. I told him what happened, brushed it off as some sort of funny dream (even though I knew I was awake), and went back to sleep. The next night, the same thing happened to my husband. He felt a cat jump up onto our bed, etc. We really began to wonder then.
You may think I am completely out of my mind or schizophrenic, and you have a right to that opinion, although there is no history of schizophrenia in our family. I've questioned my own sanity in the past a time or two because of all this. We eventually figured out that these were and are demons. They ended up grabbing my little girl in her bed and pestering us every 3rd hour in the night and waking us up. They would jump on us and manifest themselves so that we all could see them from time to time. They would whisper bad things to us. My 2 children ended up seeing them. We saw them. We have 4 witnesses living in our house including myself. I have a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old. My little girl saw one of them in a form that we had only seen but had not talked about in front of her. My little boy could see them, too. The day she came downstairs scared to death because one had grabbed her was the day my husband saw one about 4 feet tall and in vivid white color manifested as a sweet-looking little girl. A few days later, I saw what he saw, except that it was a grayish white in color.
At first, as my husband is a Christian and always has been, hubby was angry with me for "bringing them down". But then, we realized that God had gone out of His way to come to me in my time of need and doubt. He, indeed, showed us spirits and has done many wonderful things in our lives since then that I would never have believed and would have laughed at anyone who would have tried to tell me as much . It says in the Bible that God would leave his flock to search for the one who is lost. I cried out and He met me where I was to save me. When I saw that demon, I cried hard with repentance in my heart because right then and there I knew that if those things existed, then God must exist, and He does exist, and He cared enough about me to prove Himself to me so that I would not be lost even after all the foul things I have said about Him. He has proved Himself to our entire family. He has done things that I am sure most of you will not believe. You may say I am schizophrenic and that my whole family is schizo. Again, you can believe what you want to believe, but I tell you the truth, just like I have told you the truth the many times before when I came on here as an ex-Christian. This is completely life-changing. It doesn't matter that the Bible doesn't make sense to us at times. The Bible even admits that the things of God are foolishness unto men, and that spiritual things are spiritually discerned, so why should we even attempt to use our minds in the way that most of us tend to use it to discern the ways of God? As an ex-Christian and now an ex-agnostic, and after studying the Bible for so long and understanding all the things that you all understand and feel, that was a very difficult thing for me to overcome - not analyzing so much. I still do it at times, but I am learning to go by what is in my heart and trying to read between the lines at times. The demons want us to believe that God is like they are, and that they are the ones who are like God. I knew this when I saw the one that my husband had seen a few days before me. It was not a good thing, and it was real. As knowledgeable as you all are, look into demonic activity. Look into "ghost" sightings and the paranormal. But, when you do, also look into the miracles that God Himself has performed to prove Himself to those who try to find Him with all of their heart. I know I did, and He went out of His way to come to me and my family and to show us that He cares that much and loves us enough to meet us where we are in a very real and tangible way.
I can't debate with you about the Bible, because I won't. None of that matters anymore. It doesn't matter if it makes sense to me or not. I have SEEN and FELT the reality. So has my family. We are all strong believers now.....something I thought would never happen in a million years. I truly wish you all much love and acceptance for who you are as individuals. I also encourage you to not give up hope that there is a God who loves us and will hear our cries and help us when He believes we need it because I have seen, heard, and felt how real He is (and so has my family). He says in his Word "Search for me with all of your heart, and then you will find Me." This has taken me 33 years.
He came to us when He was ready, and he now helps to guide us with physical "taps" that my husband was the first to receive, and then me. My son had a birthday on the 9th, and he received his first "taps" from God (I know what you are probably thinking). My daughter said she receieved one tap the other day, but I cannot be sure. My son described them in a way that I knew he was telling the truth and not imagining it because he said something about them that we only knew and had not discussed in front of him. As a matter of fact, we went to see the movie "The Nativity" when it happened to him on his birthday. When we are in church, we get them. When we watch TBN, we get them. Also, when we pray, we get them. We always get them at key moments to let us know that He is with us and the path that He would have us to take in our daily decisions. This is the most amazing thing in the world to realize that God is real. Just entertain the thought for a moment, that God is real and does manifest Himself and His spirit world in a way that you can see with your eyes and actually feel with your skin (with witnesses) as in the Bible.
You can go ahead and believe I am crazy, but what if you are wrong? Really....what if? Do you really know for sure I'm not? No, you don't, but you can believe one way or the other. If you want to contact me, you can do so at bwingham@roadrunner.com. I will not respond to abuse or derogatory comments, Bible debates, or any questions about the Bible, but if you really want to know more about our experience, please feel free to contact me. I care for you guys because I know how you feel. You can post what you want in response to this, but I will not come back here to see the posts. I just ask that you research my prior posts if you are curious about how I used to feel and to e-mail me if you only want to know more about my experiences with God and the demons (I know what you are thinking, sounds crazy, right?). It's real.
Best of luck in life and the pursuit of joy and love in Christ (real Christianity will not harm or hurt you but fill you with joy and love),
Peach
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I know that you may or may not believe me, but you can check out my member status and my past posts. I understand your feelings completely. I have been there where you are now, and I am not going to arrogantly tell you that I know everything there is to know about Jesus and Christianity. All that can be said is that since I have last posted here, things in my life have changed dramatically...things that no one could have told me about because they would have gotten a steely silence with me thinking they have lost their mind and have absolutely no idea of what they are talking about. What I can tell you for those of you who are not familiar with my past posts, is that I was once a Christian who left the Faith completely, then felt anger, betrayal, hurt, loneliness, misunderstood, judged, etc. Then, came the acceptance of life without Christianity and/or God/Jesus. Then, there came a sort of peace....for awhile. After some time, life started feeling empty and cold, Christian songs that had once irritated me to no end would begin to sound good again (although I felt the words were stupid and uneducated). The music was good in at least some of them, I felt.
My husband's cousin was coming over with his family on occasion (who is a Christian), and we would have friendly debates as we are both educated somewhat in Christianity. I can say I have been studying the Bible since I was at least 9 years old. There are many things I don't understand though, and many lessons I have forgotten. Then, one day, the emptiness was overwhelming me, and I called out to God (just in case He really was there) as I felt "who can really know?". I said a feeble little prayer of "Okay, God.....if You really do love me as much as the Bible and all these Christians say You do, then help me to believe in You. If You are really all these things, then I want to believe in You. If You are real, then show me an angel.....show me spirits....help me....", and then I went to a sad but resigned sleep as nothing seemed to happen.
Probably a couple of weeks went by. I forgot all about my prayer. We have 2 cats living in our house, and every night I always lock them out of our bedroom so we can sleep as they tend to run around and pounce on us in the night. It was sometime after we had both gone to sleep when I awoke to the feeling of something jumping up on our bed and laying upon my leg. I could clearly feel the weight. I got up thinking that one of the cats must have somehow managed to stay in our room when I thought for sure I had cast them out before we went to bed. I got up and opened our door never taking my eyes off the light that wafted into our bedroom from our living room so I could see when our "cat" left our bedroom. No cat ever left, and after a few seconds, I could plainly see our 2 cats trotting toward me down our hallway from our living room. Again, we only have 2 cats, and there was no way I would have missed a cat leaving our bedroom to go into the living room to join our other cat and then come back over to me again. My husband asked me what I was doing, and I did not know what to say. I told him what happened, brushed it off as some sort of funny dream (even though I knew I was awake), and went back to sleep. The next night, the same thing happened to my husband. He felt a cat jump up onto our bed, etc. We really began to wonder then.
You may think I am completely out of my mind or schizophrenic, and you have a right to that opinion, although there is no history of schizophrenia in our family. I've questioned my own sanity in the past a time or two because of all this. We eventually figured out that these were and are demons. They ended up grabbing my little girl in her bed and pestering us every 3rd hour in the night and waking us up. They would jump on us and manifest themselves so that we all could see them from time to time. They would whisper bad things to us. My 2 children ended up seeing them. We saw them. We have 4 witnesses living in our house including myself. I have a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old. My little girl saw one of them in a form that we had only seen but had not talked about in front of her. My little boy could see them, too. The day she came downstairs scared to death because one had grabbed her was the day my husband saw one about 4 feet tall and in vivid white color manifested as a sweet-looking little girl. A few days later, I saw what he saw, except that it was a grayish white in color.
At first, as my husband is a Christian and always has been, hubby was angry with me for "bringing them down". But then, we realized that God had gone out of His way to come to me in my time of need and doubt. He, indeed, showed us spirits and has done many wonderful things in our lives since then that I would never have believed and would have laughed at anyone who would have tried to tell me as much . It says in the Bible that God would leave his flock to search for the one who is lost. I cried out and He met me where I was to save me. When I saw that demon, I cried hard with repentance in my heart because right then and there I knew that if those things existed, then God must exist, and He does exist, and He cared enough about me to prove Himself to me so that I would not be lost even after all the foul things I have said about Him. He has proved Himself to our entire family. He has done things that I am sure most of you will not believe. You may say I am schizophrenic and that my whole family is schizo. Again, you can believe what you want to believe, but I tell you the truth, just like I have told you the truth the many times before when I came on here as an ex-Christian. This is completely life-changing. It doesn't matter that the Bible doesn't make sense to us at times. The Bible even admits that the things of God are foolishness unto men, and that spiritual things are spiritually discerned, so why should we even attempt to use our minds in the way that most of us tend to use it to discern the ways of God? As an ex-Christian and now an ex-agnostic, and after studying the Bible for so long and understanding all the things that you all understand and feel, that was a very difficult thing for me to overcome - not analyzing so much. I still do it at times, but I am learning to go by what is in my heart and trying to read between the lines at times. The demons want us to believe that God is like they are, and that they are the ones who are like God. I knew this when I saw the one that my husband had seen a few days before me. It was not a good thing, and it was real. As knowledgeable as you all are, look into demonic activity. Look into "ghost" sightings and the paranormal. But, when you do, also look into the miracles that God Himself has performed to prove Himself to those who try to find Him with all of their heart. I know I did, and He went out of His way to come to me and my family and to show us that He cares that much and loves us enough to meet us where we are in a very real and tangible way.
I can't debate with you about the Bible, because I won't. None of that matters anymore. It doesn't matter if it makes sense to me or not. I have SEEN and FELT the reality. So has my family. We are all strong believers now.....something I thought would never happen in a million years. I truly wish you all much love and acceptance for who you are as individuals. I also encourage you to not give up hope that there is a God who loves us and will hear our cries and help us when He believes we need it because I have seen, heard, and felt how real He is (and so has my family). He says in his Word "Search for me with all of your heart, and then you will find Me." This has taken me 33 years.
He came to us when He was ready, and he now helps to guide us with physical "taps" that my husband was the first to receive, and then me. My son had a birthday on the 9th, and he received his first "taps" from God (I know what you are probably thinking). My daughter said she receieved one tap the other day, but I cannot be sure. My son described them in a way that I knew he was telling the truth and not imagining it because he said something about them that we only knew and had not discussed in front of him. As a matter of fact, we went to see the movie "The Nativity" when it happened to him on his birthday. When we are in church, we get them. When we watch TBN, we get them. Also, when we pray, we get them. We always get them at key moments to let us know that He is with us and the path that He would have us to take in our daily decisions. This is the most amazing thing in the world to realize that God is real. Just entertain the thought for a moment, that God is real and does manifest Himself and His spirit world in a way that you can see with your eyes and actually feel with your skin (with witnesses) as in the Bible.
You can go ahead and believe I am crazy, but what if you are wrong? Really....what if? Do you really know for sure I'm not? No, you don't, but you can believe one way or the other. If you want to contact me, you can do so at bwingham@roadrunner.com. I will not respond to abuse or derogatory comments, Bible debates, or any questions about the Bible, but if you really want to know more about our experience, please feel free to contact me. I care for you guys because I know how you feel. You can post what you want in response to this, but I will not come back here to see the posts. I just ask that you research my prior posts if you are curious about how I used to feel and to e-mail me if you only want to know more about my experiences with God and the demons (I know what you are thinking, sounds crazy, right?). It's real.
Best of luck in life and the pursuit of joy and love in Christ (real Christianity will not harm or hurt you but fill you with joy and love),
Peach
