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Dear Al Qaeda

PerryLogan

Banned
P
Joined
Oct 8, 2006
Messages
980
Dear Al Qaeda:

I strongly disapprove of your terrorist activities. I implore you to stop the violence immediately.

On a lighter note, I thought you might like to know that a small percentage of white males in America, England, and elsewhere think you guys are completely fake!

They call themselves the Truth Movement. They consist almost entirely of low-IQ, alienated white males who think there's a secret world takeover going on, perceptible only to them.

What can I say? We're a crazy, decadent culture!

The "Truthers," as we affectionately call them, say everything you guys do is bogus. They say that Al Qaeda is not even real--that you guys are too stupid and primitive to bring off 9/11, that you were essentially hired to help the U.S. government fake the whole thing.

I hope this amuses you, because this is what the "Truth Movement" is saying about you guys. If not, I have appended the names and addresses of all the Truth Movement people I know. I'm sure you can track the rest down.

Sincerely,
Perry Logan
 
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Dear Perry,

thank so much you write the letter of you
into my cave. Me and my rowdies are not
amused about the white man you describe.

In fact, this idiots makes us look like clown
and we loses every fun making bomb attacks.
This might shocking you but we have to bake
cookies in future to survive because of horrible
loose change.

Please tell Dylan i´m not fat in video and that
it is not funny to make jokes about nose.

Allah akbar,
O.B., CEO of Al Qaida
 
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:D:D:D:D
Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
:bigclap
And it's kinda sorta almost mean (in the very slightest way) to sic the boom-boom crazies on the quivering crazies.




































Nah.
 
P.S. You'll find plenty of those guys think Osama did not mastermind your operation and also that at least 7 of your martyrs are not in Paradise.

(Perry. You're awful. But I do like you. :D)
 
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Lol nice on Perry :)

Nice response Oliver.

*Osama turns to Zawahiri*
"I TOLD YOU THAT OUTFIT MADE ME LOOK FAT! You can sleep on the couch tonight!"
*Begins crying*
 
orphia nay said:
P.S. You'll find plenty of those guys think Osama did not mastermind your operation and also that at least 7 of your martyrs are not in Paradise.
Click to expand...

It is my understanding that Osama did not mastermind 9/11 (he "green lit" and funded it) and, as a (weak) atheist, I'm pretty sure that none of his murdering psychotic lackeys are either martyrs or in paradise.
 
brodski said:
.... I'm pretty sure that none of his murdering psychotic lackeys are either martyrs or in paradise.
Click to expand...

Damn Right!

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell
'We Expected Eternal Paradise For This,' Say Suicide Bombers

JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.

"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival.

"There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."

"Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes.

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting.

"It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun."

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38673
Click to expand...
 
PerryLogan said:
Dear Al Qaeda:

I strongly disapprove of your terrorist activities. I implore you to stop the violence immediately.

On a lighter note, I thought you might like to know that a small percentage of white males in America, England, and elsewhere think you guys are completely fake!

They call themselves the Truth Movement. They consist almost entirely of low-IQ, alienated white males who think there's a secret world takeover going on, perceptible only to them.

What can I say? We're a crazy, decadent culture!

The "Truthers," as we affectionately call them, say everything you guys do is bogus. They say that Al Qaeda is not even real--that you guys are too stupid and primitive to bring off 9/11, that you were essentially hired to help the U.S. government fake the whole thing.

I hope this amuses you, because this is what the "Truth Movement" is saying about you guys. If not, I have appended the names and addresses of all the Truth Movement people I know. I'm sure you can track the rest down.

Sincerely,
Perry Logan
Click to expand...


You are aware of the beginnings of the bogey man? That it was the CIA who organized and recruited them for the war against the Soviets in Afghanistan?
 
Try this experiment: Contact someone in Al Qaeda and tell them you think they're CIA shills. Be sure to include your return address. Let us know what happens.
 
pagan said:
You are aware of the beginnings of the bogey man? That it was the CIA who organized and recruited them for the war against the Soviets in Afghanistan?
Click to expand...

Evidence? Source?

And even if they were once funded via the CIA to fight against the Soviet Union, what would this mean?

There are plenty of cases of allies becoming enemies when the situation changes.
 
PerryLogan said:
They call themselves the Truth Movement. They consist almost entirely of low-IQ, alienated white males who think there's a secret world takeover going on, perceptible only to them.

What can I say? We're a crazy, decadent culture!
Click to expand...


You know, suddenly, I begin to understand al Qaeda's position a little more clearly.

Maybe Bin Laden isn't such a bad guy, he just spent too much time on internet forums arguing with idiots, until he finally snapped. ;)
 
pagan said:
You are aware of the beginnings of the bogey man? That it was the CIA who organized and recruited them for the war against the Soviets in Afghanistan?
Click to expand...

Wow! Have you any more painfully trite factoids with which to enlighten us?
 
JimBenArm said:
No. He used all his facts up with that post.
Click to expand...

Maybe he takes the advice and goes to the politics
subforum. I will make Popcorn in the meantime -
this would be pretty bloody - but funny ...
popc%5B1%5D.gif
 
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