Date Diagnosis: Dyslexic or Dumb?

[Gravy]

It's a false choice fallacy, since the person in question may be dyslexic and dumb, or neither, but I couldn't think of a catchier title. I could have posted this in Education, but I know how much teachers drink on the weekends.

I'm looking for a diagnosis before my dinner & movie date tonight.

I met a woman at party this week. She seemed bright and witty* and is extremely attractive. She said she'd heard that the movie "Man on Wire," about Philippe Petit, was good and asked if I'd seen it. "No," I said, lying. "But I want to. Let's go." She agreed. (The movie is OK but not great, btw.)

I didn't suspect anything unusual after a few fairly short email and IM exchanges. Then I got a long email from her, probably over a thousand words. The writing was atrocious.

First, the syntax was odd, as if it was written by an eastern European whose English used to be pretty good but hasn't been used in years. The prose was direct, unsophisticated, and flat, with few longer words. She's a native of the U.S.

Next, some of the things she wrote in error:

says instead of saying ("I am not says they should change.")
you instead of your
coarse instead of course
it instead of it's
are instead of and
mined instead of minded
interferes instead of interference
image instead of imagine
"seen what the doctor's say" instead of "see what the doctors say"
wander instead of wonder

And she
–omitted words several times ("I not sure yet.")

–many times used a semicolon where a comma, colon, or period was needed. A two-sentence paragraph had seven semicolons. I've never seen so many semicolons anywhere.

–used contractions (can't, don't, won't) but never with pronouns (no I'm, I'd, you're, you'd, we're, they're, etc.)

–at least 20 times used ellipses just for the hell of it

Yes, all that in one email. My first reaction was, "Crap! I made a date with an idiot!"

Then I remembered all those substitutions and omissions and thought this might be some sort of dyslexia. About all I know of dyslexia is letter transposition, and she didn't do that. The words are spelled correctly but they're the wrong words.

Then I thought of the syntax and arbitrary punctuation and was back to thinking that she's just uneducated.

Then something made me forget all the rest: "I may wear the sexy black dress I just bought; hope you don't have heart trouble!" Thank Ed she didn't write "brought," 'cause that's a deal-breaker, baby!

I don't know the people she was with at the party, so I can't ask them. The party was for a writer and was full of highly-literate and sophisticated folks.

I'm not looking for a relationship, so this isn't a big concern. As an English major, however, I'm very concerned.

Anyone have an opinion, informed or not, about what I'm dealing with?



*Anyone who laughs at my jokes seems bright and witty.

 

[brodski]

it looks like you're dealing with someone who doesn't (or can't) proof read their e-mails effectively, types badly and trusts the first thing which comes up on the spell check. This may or may not be due to dyslexia.

 

[paximperium]

Why hate me others who cant write well?

 

[CrikeyBobs]

Maybe the ellipses indicate actual pauses while she was compiling the email. Another possibility is they could be a means of splitting up a long email which would normally have been sent as multiple texts or IMs.

Did you mention you were an English major? Semicolons must be the least understood punctuation mark; perhaps she used them to excess in an attempt to impress you?

The numerous spelling errors could be compatible with the texting/IM hypothesis. It's all type/send/type/send/type/send these days.

Now. You go and enjoy your date!

PS. My opinion is NOT informed. Repeat, NOT informed!

 

[Dancing David]

As someone who lives with both types of dyslexia (country and western) I will throw in my two red cents,

It makes me a terrible speller, it made it very hard for me to learn how to read (but I am a voracious reader now), it is a main cause after lower IQ of people getting frustrated and doing poorly in schools.

However, I am lazy, I do not always use spell check at all, but I am trying to force myself to. It is a great way to learn how to spell words, as I go through and correct the words often, not using the checker window.

I can not blame my dyslexia for my being lazy, not can I blame it for the frequent transpositions I make typing or the errors I make typing.

Now, after learning to read in third grade, I advanced in reading skills quickly (except for the fact that I don't serially process the letters in a word). By the time I was in sixth grade I was at grade level. I read a lot, I mean like a whole lot, a book was always being read at least an hour a day and as time passed I read more. (Now I read 1-3 hours a day). Living in a foreign country without TV and not being allowed to watch TV except in the winter had a lot to do with that. As an adult I have never personally owned a TV and I watch less than an hour a day, unless I am watching a movie with my wife.

Now this is crucial, I learned the elements of style and composition through reading, and having my mother grind my papers to a fine powder, I really have sympathy for the students she taught at a junior college, I know what they went through.

But reading is how I learned how words are organized and which words to use where. If you don't read literature (even the stuff called pulp, I read a lot of fantasy.scifi) then you won't learn the use of words in that style.

Add to this the text message, people writing while they have two to three IM boxes open on the desktop, multiple trains of conversation being written and you get a stew of poorly written material.

MSWord spell-check really likes semicolons.

 

[Gravy]

Maybe the ellipses indicate actual pauses while she was compiling the email. Another possibility is they could be a means of splitting up a long email which would normally have been sent as multiple texts or IMs.

Did you mention you were an English major? Semicolons must be the least understood punctuation mark; perhaps she used them to excess in an attempt to impress you?

The numerous spelling errors could be compatible with the texting/IM hypothesis. It's all type/send/type/send/type/send these days.

I didn't tell her that I had been an English major, but I did ask if she wanted to come over and see my diagrammed sentences. I like your idea about trying to impress with the semicolons. I'll bet she can work wonders with an umlaut.

It seems clear that she doesn't know she's writing the wrong words, and not because she's writing too fast. "I am not says they should change" is quite odd. Several of the mistakes seem to be phonetic substitutions.

Now. You go and enjoy your date!

Thanks;...I will...try

 

[casebro]

Lazy texter. And you are a pedant.

I'd be more worried about somebody that sends 1,000 word emails. That's just not my style. I mean, how many times does she have to tell me "I love you. I want you" in one message? I think she needs a good spanking...

 

[Gravy]

Thanks for your input, Dancing David. I can't imagine how frustrating dyslexia must be.

 

[Giggywig]

and is extremely attractive.

I stopped caring about her English right about here.

Then something made me forget all the rest: "I may wear the sexy black dress I just bought; hope you don't have heart trouble!"

And at this point I figured out this is all an excuse to tell people you're getting laid.

What Brodski's sais locks spot on to me. She write to fast, doesn't poof-read; and trusts her spelchecker tooo muck!

 

[Darat]

Why not wait to cheque out whsther she looks good in her black dresser; then decide.... (if she is dumbest not's dicklesick)?

 

[Gravy]

Lazy texter. And you are a pedant.

I may be a pedant, but I wouldn't have brought it up if it wasn't very strange to me. I wish I could post the whole thing, because describing its parts doesn't do it justice. I've seen lots of lazy texting, but nothing like this. I'm inclined to think she's got some wires crossed.

A few details that may help: she was writing from her home computer, and she's in her late 30s (so probably not like a 22-year-old flying-fingered texter).

I'd be more worried about somebody that sends 1,000 word emails. That's just not my style. I mean, how many times does she have to tell me "I love you. I want you" in one message? I think she needs a good spanking...

I'll request a picture next time instead.

 

[Gravy]

And at this point I figured out this is all an excuse to tell people you're getting laid.

I doubt that's in the cards, but I am suspicious that it was so easy. Could be a set-up. She may have been sent by truthers to steal my English mojo.

 

[TjW]

Have you considered that it might have been posted after, say, a few glasses of wine? Editing while tipsy can produce interesting effects. And I imagine the effects probably vary from individual to individual.

OTOH, asking "Were you drunk when you wrote this?" is probably not going to go over well.

 

[Gravy]

Have you considered that it might have been posted after, say, a few glasses of wine? Editing while tipsy can produce interesting effects. And I imagine the effects probably vary from individual to individual.

My father once told me about women, "Son, no amount of liquor can explain away a hundred misplaced semicolons."

OTOH, asking "Were you drunk when you wrote this?" is probably not going to go over well.

Or "wtf? r u 420 hi?"

 

[plumjam]

Are you certain she actually typed it?
Looking at the examples you provided they seem to be more or less ´soundalikes´, which leads me to suspect that she may be one of those rare souls who uses speech recognition software.

Also, if she´s bright, witty and attractive in person, I wouldn´t be worrying about what her emails are like.

 

[Lonewulf]

I agree with Plumjam.








What did I just say?

 

[brodski]

Are you certain she actually typed it?
Looking at the examples you provided they seem to be more or less ´soundalikes´, which leads me to suspect that she may be one of those rare souls who uses speech recognition software.
.

most speech to text softwares works out what to write based on sound and context, so I don't think that theory really stands up.

I agree with the bit of your post I didn't quote though.

 

[brodski]

My father once told me about women, "Son, no amount of liquor can explain away a hundred misplaced semicolons."

But what if the semicolons weren't misplaced, just all the words around them.

 

[Gravy]

Are you certain she actually typed it?
Looking at the examples you provided they seem to be more or less ´soundalikes´, which leads me to suspect that she may be one of those rare souls who uses speech recognition software.

Interesting idea, but I can't bear the thought of her saying "semicolon" and "dotdotdot" over and over.

Also, if she´s bright, witty and attractive in person, I wouldn´t be worrying about what her emails are like.

The worry is that I may have been disfongulated by her looks and only imagined that she's bright and witty. (Seriously, it's not a worry, just a matter of curiosity.)

 

[tesscaline]

Even extremely intelligent and witty persons can suffer from having horrible writing skills.

My younger sister, for example, is very bright (probably more so than I am), but cannot spell simple words without the assistance of spellcheck or a dictionary. Why? Because she was unlucky enough to be taught to read and write during a period where our local school system was using a "read for content" method, instead of phonics.

The other thing is, people don't realize anymore that writing an email is the same as writing a letter to someone. They have a tendency to forget everything they ever knew about intelligent writing conventions, and just spill out what's in their heads unedited. It's gotten bad enough that companies are having to hire people to train their staff in the proper way to compose an email message. My entire department was subjected to such a class while I was with my last employer. It was "email communications sensitivity training" and covered topics such as "don't use more than one exclamation point at the end of a sentence" and "remember to capitalize proper nouns and the starting word of sentences" and my personal favorite "don't use excessive capitalization, as it is construed as yelling."

So, it may be that she is witty and intelligent on a personal level, but just "email stupid."