Cthulhu is real! Skeptics beware, YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!

c4ts

Philosopher
Joined
Jul 17, 2002
Messages
8,420
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here!

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!
 
c4ts said:
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here!

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!
Yeah, you malboxists and your false idols. Do you realize Satin hides behind logic, waiting to decieve. Believe in The Box, or it'll thow you into the square-circle river of FLAMING TIRES!
 
Well, before this thread gets moved, I'd like to point out that
bunnies.gif

cute, furry bunnies are real, too. And if you fail to believe in them, and acknowledge their omniadorability, you will be smothered under the sheer weight of their cuteness.
 
c4ts said:
Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

Actually, I had quite a nice little chat with Cthulhu in my nightmares. He explained his philosophy of life, which is eating everyone and sending their souls to gibber in horror in the Cyclopean immensity of abysmal sunken depths. I explained my own philosophy of life, which involves climbing trees and free lovin'. We agreed to disagree, and have a cordial relationship to this date. He still pops in on my nightmares occasionally, but expresses confusion as to why I'm so very terrified of Vivian Vance. He thinks tentacles are a prerequisite for ultimate horror.

Sing to the tune of the "Winnie the Pooh Theme":
Vivian Vance, Vivian Vance
dumpy frumpy grumpy stumpy
stuffed with fluff.
She's Vivian Vance, Vivian Vance.
Nasty scary dreadful in the buff!


Shudder. I'd prefer Cthulhu's unspeakable horrors to Vivian's.
 
Spoof or no spoof, I will soon be emerging to eat everyone.

Espically that 1inC guy...he really bothers me.


edit: it is so hard to type with these tenticles in the way.
 
c4ts said:
So nobody remembers those online tract sites 1inC keeps posting links to as "evidence" for Hell. Oh well, here's a link:

http://www.av1611.org/hell.html

Oh, that site, I used to go there when I needed a good larff (as Mr. Burns would say).

Then it got annoying.

I think they are going to be appetizers. :D
 
Cthulhu said:
Spoof or no spoof, I will soon be emerging to eat everyone.

Espically that 1inC guy...he really bothers me.


edit: it is so hard to type with these tenticles in the way.

Nobody is eating anybody without my say so.
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Say so granted. Commence with the eating.
 
c4ts said:
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here!

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.
 
Re: Re: Cthulhu is real! Skeptics beware, YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!

1inChrist said:
That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.

ミラーで見ることか。
 
Re: Re: Cthulhu is real! Skeptics beware, YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!

1inChrist said:
That's some scary stuff. It's like a glimpse into the mind of Satan and how he works through the mystical.

Don't you think you're running your lures a little too close to the surface here?
 
Cthulhu said:
it is so hard to type with these tenticles in the way.

Um, you need to be more careful with your spelling. I read the word "tenticles" completely wrong, and got a visual image I will not soon forget.

It's "tentacles".
 
c4ts said:
There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that Cthulhu is real! Just look here!

When the time comes, WHO WILL BE EATEN FIRST? Only the followers of Cthulhu know the answer! Save yourself before it is too late! Sell all your posessions and move to the sunken city of R'lyeh, communicate telepathically with 'Cthulhu in your nightmares!

I'm pretty weak on orthodox Cthulhuism, but doesn't everybody get eaten; believers and non-belivers?
 
TragicMonkey said:
Um, you need to be more careful with your spelling. I read the word "tenticles" completely wrong, and got a visual image I will not soon forget.

It's "tentacles".

Oooo, happened to me too. Thought Buster Gonad had joined the site... :(
 
Re: Re: Cthulhu is real! Skeptics beware, YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!

Ladewig said:
I'm pretty weak on orthodox Cthulhuism, but doesn't everybody get eaten; believers and non-belivers?

Well, duh, everyone gets eaten. It's a matter of who goes first. Since the Monkey Gods have an understanding with Cthulhu, their worshippers go last.

Only don't tell Cthulhu, but the Monkey Gods have a plan to doublecross him once he's eaten everyone else besides their worshippers. It's a cunning plan that hinges, as all brilliant plans do, on the hurling of feces from treetops. (What the Monkey Gods lack in imagination they make up for in enthusiasm. You're really better off being eaten rather than being an innocent bystander in that melee.)
 
Re: Re: Cthulhu is real! Skeptics beware, YOU WILL BE DEVOURED!

Ladewig said:
I'm pretty weak on orthodox Cthulhuism, but doesn't everybody get eaten; believers and non-belivers?

Esentially there are two sects of Cthulhuism, those who want to be eaten first because they don't want to be around when Cthulhu rises from the sea and eats the world, and those who want to be eaten last so they can spend that time pointing out where juicy pockets of unbelievers are hiding. There's really no conflict since we all sit around in the same underwater city chanting the same eldrich blasphemies, and either way, everybody gets their chance to be eaten so it's all good.
 

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