ALVY
H'm, I'm sorry, I can't go through with
this, because it-I can't get it off my
mind, Allison ... it's obsessing me!
ALLISON
Well, I'm getting tired of it. I need
your attention.
ALVY
It-but it-it ... doesn't make any sense.
He drove past the book depository and the
police said conclusively that it was an
exit wound. So-how is it possible for
Oswald to have fired from two angles at
once? It doesn't make sense.
ALLISON
Alvy.
ALVY
I'll tell you this! He was not marksman
enough to hit a moving target at that
range. But ...
if there was a second assassin ... it-
That's it!
ALLISON
We've been through this.
ALVY
If they-they recovered the shells from
that rifle.
ALLISON
Okay. All right, so whatta yuh saying,
now? That e-e-everybody o-o-on the Warren
Commission is in on this conspiracy, right?
ALVY
Well, why not?
ALLISON
Yeah, Earl Warren?
ALVY
Hey ... honey, I don't know Earl Warren.
ALLISON
Lyndon Johnson?
ALVY
L-L-Lyndon Johns Lyndon Johnson is a
politician. You know the ethics those
guys have? It's like-uh, a notch
underneath child molester.
ALLISON
Then everybody's in in the conspiracy?
ALVY
(Nodding his head)
Tsch.
ALLISON
The FBI, and the CIA, and J. Edgar
Hoover and oil companies and the
Pentagon and the men's-room attendant
at the White House?
ALVY
I-I-I-I would leave out the men's-room
attendant.
ALLISON
You're using this conspiracy theory as
an excuse to avoid sex with me.
ALVY
Oh, my God!
(Then, to the camera)
She's right! Why did I turn off Allison
Portchnik? She was-she was beautiful. She
was willing. She was real ... intelligent.
(Sighing)
Is it the old Groucho Marx joke? That-that
I-I just don't wanna belong to any club that
would have someone like me for a member?
