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Christian Spam

calladus

Critical Thinker
calladus
Joined
Feb 23, 2003
Messages
324
Jimmygun started another thread about how JREF has been helping him, and I commented on the Christian Spam that I get from well meaning (and otherwise) friends and Christians.

I thought it might be instructive and interesting to share some of this folderol and our responses.

Here's my latest, from a friend that likes to pass on the spam, or download from web sites and pass it on:

(Email has been formatted for readablity in the forum, and to remove identity)


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent:
Subject: FW: This speaks for itself!!

This speaks for itself.
Samuel Thompson wrote:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December.

I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution.
Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game.
So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts! They're just talking to a GOD they believe in and asking HIM to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game. "But it's a Christian prayer," some will argue. Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. And we are in the Bible Belt.

According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect ...somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer. If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer. If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. And I wouldn't be offended!! It wouldn't bother me one bit. When in Rome...

"But what about the atheists?" is another argument. What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds.

If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer.
Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations immediately.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us just to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

GOD...... help us!

And if that last sentence offends you, well..........just sue me. The silent majority has been silent too long!! It's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard, that the vast majority don't care what they want.. it is time the majority rules!
It's time we tell them, you don't have to pray.. you don't have to say the pledge of allegiance, you don't have to believe in GOD or attend services that honor HIM. That is your right, and we will honor your right.. BUT!! by golly you are no longer going to take our rights away!!.. we are fighting back.. and we WILL WIN! (GOD said so in HIS book!) After all.......the GOD you have the right to denounce is on our side!

GOD bless us one and all, especially those who denounce HIM... GOD bless America, despite all her faults.. it's still the greatest nation of all..... GOD bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship GOD...
May 2003 be the year the silent majority is heard and we put GOD back as the foundation of our families and institutions.
Keep looking up...... In GOD WE Trust!!!

If you agree with this, please pass it on.
If not, just delete it.

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country!!
Click to expand...

-----My Response-----
From:
Sent:
Subject: RE: FW: This speaks for itself!!

"We are fighting back and we WILL win!"

How is that different from anything that the Taliban or Al-Qaeda has said?
How strongly do you follow your convictions?

Do you think that Christian minister Paul Hill had his rights unfairly stripped?
Would you allow 30 seconds of school prayer by Westboro Baptist Church Reverend Fred Phelps?
Do you think that Atheists should not be counted as American citizens, as President Bush, Senior has advocated?
Would you try to deny religious liberty to non Christian religions, as George W. Bush is doing?
Is Tony Evans right? Should women 'return' to being subservient to men?
Do you agree with the Moral Majority or the Christian Coalition?

How is it that the Christian religion can say that they are being persecuted by a minority? At best, nonbelievers make up 10% of this country. Christians love to boast about being fed to the lions, but Conveniently neglect to mention the Inquisition or the Crusades, or Salem, or the uncounted times that heretics of all sorts have been burned at the stake, or tortured and killed. Thankfully Christians have in the last hundred years or so started taking their religion less literally, and have started to become more moral and stopped killing non-believers.

It is now relatively safe in America to say that you don't believe in God - but you can still be legally fired from your job for admitting it.

Around 70% of the citizens of America claim to be Christian. If you see something wrong with how the country is being run, it is probably due to Christians responding in a moral, rather than in a religious way. Which is exactly how Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore was handled, morally.

Please, for the sake of our friendship - don't send me any more Christian SPAM.
Click to expand...

Comments?
 
We're not going to pass the collection plate.

Nope, they are just taking the money outright through 'Faith Based' initiatives, without giving us any choice on if or how much to donate. :mad:


the usual bull here about the people who spew this nonsence confusing freedom to pray with forcing others to be subjected to their prayers.
 
I don't know where to even begin onthis one. A larger collection of strawmen and outright untruths would be hard to find. Since I don't have all day to type a response, I'll just hit the highlights.

I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution.
Click to expand...

Probably not. Instead if he is like a lot of the people who sends this drek, he will bypass the lawyer and go straight to his schoolboard and maybe even up to his state legisators and have them attempt to have them outlaw the teaching of evolution in the first place. This line was an attempt for the writer to try and gain the moral high ground and it failed miserably.

Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. And we are in the Bible Belt.
Click to expand...

This has been refuted so many times I am surprised anyone still drags it out. They may believe it in the Bible Belt, but that doesn't make it true.

"But what about the atheists?" is another argument. What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds.
Click to expand...

Nice strawman the author builds here. As an atheist, I realize that in a situation such as a prayer before a football game no one is passing the collection plate, etc. That is not the problem, neither is it the fact that someone may be offended. The problem is that I do not feel that a school sponsored event is the appropriate place to give a pulpit to the views of one particular religion any more than it would be an appropriate place for me to give a 30 second speech on the virtues of atheism or for some politician to give a campaign speech. What's more, I worry that if I "humor them" for 30 seconds, if they won't use that precedent to build on and then they eventually WILL be passing the collection plate and asking me to be baptized.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us just to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.
Click to expand...

I find it very dishonest dishonest that the author goes from complaining from complaining about laws forbidding official prayers at things like football games (a complaint that while I disagree with, I can at least see their point), to implying that theya re being forbidden from praying at all anywhere. No one has ever even seriously proposed that people be forbidden from praying in their own homes. No one has even said that they can't do it in private in schools etc. All that has ever been asked is that they not impose their religious rituals on everyone else. Dishonesty must be an acceptable tactic for their cause, I guess.

it is time the majority rules!
Click to expand...
Of course the author of the piece either is oblivious to or deliberately chooses to ignore that one of the guiding principles of this country is that while the majority gets its way, they do not get to ride roughshod over everyone else.

After all.......the GOD you have the right to denounce is on our side!
Click to expand...
From this little touch of condescension forward, my only reaction is:rolleyes:
 
Nope, Bush Sr.

Aug 27, 1987 on the campaign trail

sherman: what will you do to win the votes of the americans who are atheists?

bush: i guess i'm pretty weak in the atheist community. faith in god is important to me.

sherman: surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of americans who are atheists?

bush: no, i don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. this is one nation under god.

sherman (somewhat taken aback): do you support as a sound constitutional principle the separation of state and church?

bush: yes, i support the separation of church and state. i'm just not very high on atheists.



And that was big daddy, since Junior shrub is an even bigger fundi we can expect that he only has a lower opinion.
:mad:
 
Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights.
Click to expand...

Aren't Christians meant to turn the other cheek?
 
Good reply, Calladus. You speak for many of us. Poor, tormented Christians! How horrible it must be to live in a society where they can freely worship any time they want as long as it doesn't infringe on someone else's right to not have to listen to their blather.

I've said it before - Religion in public places is okay as long as it's your religion, not someone else's.

It is my opinion that parts of Christianity are consumed by a "they're against us" mentality - the courts are taking away their rights, they can't pray during school time, they can't say "God" when they make mindless repetitive pledges to flags, etc. Througout the history of Christianity there has always been this martyr mentality, "they're against us!" stuff. There are hundreds of examples. My favorite are those two airhead women who were imprisoned in Afghanistan for preaching Christianity. They asked for it, didn't they? But they were doing the Word of God, and probably wanted to suffer a lot more than they did so their story would be even more impressive. "We were persecuted for the Lord! Praise God" I used to belong to a fundy group, believe me, some of them would have been thrilled to have the opportunity to die a painful death in the name of God. It's very biblical to do so, I guess.

Poor tortured souls. Why can't they just be happy that they're going to heaven, and leave the rest of us alone?

Frink
 
My Aunt sent me this yesterday. I can't find anything on it on google, so I don't think it's copyrighted. It just seems to be spam that xtians send out to one another.
It seems to me that it's not very wise for xtains to be using science in thier effort to talk about jesus.


HEAVEN'S GRAVITATION
by John McConnell

"And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will
draw all men unto me." John 12:32.

The story is told of how Sir Isaac Newton, while sitting under an
apple tree, was struck on the head by a falling apple, and as a
result of this experience, he formulated the law of gravitation.
Aside from a loud "ouch" and a lump on the head, I doubt if this
did much to stimulate his scientific endeavors. The truth is, the
general law of gravitation arose from Newton's questioning of what
keeps the moon in orbit around the earth. His thinking was greatly
influenced by the work of Galileo in the sixteenth century and
Kepler in the early 1600's. Galileo proved that the acceleration
of gravity is constant; Kepler formulated the three laws of
planetary motion. This led to Newton's proposal in 1687 that the
motion of the moon around the earth and of the planets around the
sun could be explained by a single universal law of gravitation.

However, Newton did not explain why objects attract one another.
He just assumed that this was a property of all matter. In 1916
Albert Einstein formulated a new theory of gravity. In his theory,
called general relativity, gravity does not exist as a force.
Instead, each mass bends the structure of space and time which
surrounds it. This distortion of space bends the paths of all
objects, even those with no mass, such as photons of light. He
predicted that starlight would be bent as it passed near the sun,
and he calculated how much it would be bent. His prediction and
calculations were dramatically confirmed during the solar eclipse
in 1919. His theory also predicted the existence of black holes.

Einstein does not try to explain why objects distort space. So we
are no closer to solving the mystery, the question of what gravity
is. In spite of Einstein we still define gravity as the weakest of
the four fundamental forces in nature, the other three being
electromagnetism, the "strong force" which holds atomic nuclei
together, and the "weak force" which involves radioactivity. The
mystery is that these three forces are effective over very short
distances while gravity, even though it is the weakest, acts over
infinite distance; it extends to the farthest reaches of the
universe. No matter how far you travel from earth, you would never
escape its gravitational field. That is a boggling thought, that
the force or distortion of space due to gravity is infinite. Some
have postulated gravity waves as an answer to the puzzle.

The most powerful gravitational force is not that of the earth, nor
the sun, nor a black hole; it is Jesus. He said that if He were
lifted up that He would draw all men to Him; His throne in heaven
is surrounded by millions of adoring angels; His dominion extends
to all the inhabited worlds in the universe. He is a mystery also,
for in Him is eternal life. Have you been drawn to Jesus? Have
you felt the force of His attraction? Have you felt the tug across
limitless space of "heaven's gravitation?"
 
MoeFaux said:

The most powerful gravitational force is not that of the earth, nor
the sun, nor a black hole; it is Jesus. He said that if He were
lifted up that He would draw all men to Him; His throne in heaven
is surrounded by millions of adoring angels; His dominion extends
to all the inhabited worlds in the universe. He is a mystery also,
for in Him is eternal life. Have you been drawn to Jesus? Have
you felt the force of His attraction? Have you felt the tug across
limitless space of "heaven's gravitation?"
Click to expand...

And here I was going around thinking that the 'Pumpkin Patch' glurge was the height of stupidity. Then this shows up. Gaaah!

I guess a good corollary to the saying 'There's always one more idiot than you counted on' is 'No matter how stupid something seems, there is always something even more stupid'
 
Whoa! I didn't see that coming!

Jesus exorts a strong gravitational field because of his immense Catholic mass.
 
Can someone tell me when and where Christianity as a group has turned the other cheek? Seems to me unless they are held in check by the laws of the land a lot of Christian initiated bitch slapping gets done!
 
Why don't they pray before they get to the game? People didn't pay money to watch people pray, they paid money to watch a game.

Everyone wins!

Jesus has nothing to do with gravity, and everything to do with evolution. He is proving the "survival of the fittest" rule as his followers conquer and dominate the earth, all the while crying 'persecution'.
 
MoeFaux said:

The most powerful gravitational force is not that of the earth, nor
the sun, nor a black hole; it is Jesus.
Click to expand...

JESUS SUCKS!?!

:dl:
 
THE CAPTAIN'S TABLE
by John McConnell


"Blessed are they who are invited to the wedding
supper of the Lamb." Rev. 19:9, NIV.

One of today's favorite recreational activities is cruising to
exotic lands where one can hear new languages, where one can have
an educational experience full of fun and frolic. The cruise craze
has grown into a multi-million dollar industry, not only for those
who operate the tours but also for many obscure, impoverished
cultures whose economies depend on tourist dollars for their
prosperity. Magnificent ships are built to house and transport
thousands of happy travellers, plying the far flung shipping lanes
of the tropics, south-sea islands, Alaska, and the Orient. Each
ship is equipped with accommodations to make the voyage comfortable
and enjoyable. Shipboard amenities such as shuffleboard and
swimming pools are provided to while away the long hours of open
sea sailing. Sightseeing tours at various ports-of-call provide
opportunities to stretch one's sea legs on solid ground, and to
visit historical landmarks and market places, where one can stock
up on native artifacts and mementos.

One of the favorite activities on board ship is that of ingesting
delicious food. An amazing quantity and variety of food is
available practically around the clock at a number of buffets,
which are situated in strategic locations. These food bars are in
addition to the formal dining room where one must make a
reservation ahead. One of the tables, however, is usually unused;
it is called the 'Captain's Table.' Ordinarily, the captain eats
in his private dining area, but at least once during the tour he
joins the passengers in the main dining room. It is on such a
occasion that the Captain's Table is used. The table seats eight
or ten persons who are there by special invitation to join the
captain for dinner. It is considered quite an honor to be so
chosen.

When the great controversy is ended and the saints are gathered on
the other shore, then will begin the grand tour of the universe and
of heaven itself. Through all eternity we shall see unimaginable
wonders, explore distant galaxies, talk with extraterrestrials, and
be honored guests as the 'heirs of salvation' as we tour in
magnificent celestial space-ships to other inhabited, unfallen
worlds. Jesus, Captain of the Lord's host, and Captain of our
salvation, will be our guide, while angels will be the pilots and
navigators through trackless space. We will no doubt enjoy
partaking of delicious and exotic food at various native buffets,
and of course we will have available the fruit from the Tree of
Life. One grand event on the tour which we will not want to miss
will be the marriage supper of the Lamb, and on that occasion we
are all invited to sit at the 'Captain's Table.'
 
MoeFaux said:
THE CAPTAIN'S TABLE
by John McConnell


"Blessed are they who are invited to the wedding
supper of the Lamb." Rev. 19:9, NIV.


When the great controversy is ended and the saints are gathered on
the other shore, then will begin the grand tour of the universe and
of heaven itself. Through all eternity we shall see unimaginable
wonders, explore distant galaxies, talk with extraterrestrials, and
be honored guests as the 'heirs of salvation' as we tour in
magnificent celestial space-ships to other inhabited, unfallen
worlds. Jesus, Captain of the Lord's host, and Captain of our
salvation, will be our guide, while angels will be the pilots and
navigators through trackless space.
Click to expand...

So we go on an eternal cruise?
Sorta like the "Flying Dutchman," right?
 
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