Catholics and bad marketing

[Suddenly]

I recieved a letter from a local Catholic Church inviting me to participate in something called a "Red Mass." A "Red Mass" according to the letter, is a special service for lawyers and judges marking the beginning of the civil judical year. I guess they got my name and address from the State Bar Register. The letter explains the history of the Red Mass, why it is called a "Red" mass, and so on. However, I found the last 3 paragraphs spellbinding:

When non-Catholic lawyers ask why they should attend the Red Mass, I've often answered with a brisk retort: "Give it a try."

It's somewhat like the old doctor who ordered an enema for every patient regardless of the malady. Finally, he directed a nurse to administer an enema to a patient who, after all other efforts, had expired. The nurse, exasperated, exclaimed, "Why, Doctor, an enema couldn't help!"

"Yes," he replied, "But it couldn't hurt either."

Could they have found some thing less unpleasant than an enema to compare to a church service? Are they suggesting that mass is roughly as purposeful as giving an enema to a dead person? As pleasant?

Not to mention that given the Church's recent legal trouble they could have done well to eliminate any mention of anal insertion whatsoever.

 

[Mercutio]

Sounds like a parody to me--no doubts that it is legit?

 

[Yahweh]

Enemas are funny. I guess the Catholic Church is just trying to use a little more humor to help mask the disfiguring emotional (and physcial) scars molesting altar boys could have made...

 

[Charlie Monoxide]

Being raised (and later rejecting) a Catholic, I believe the reason for the invite is that these professionals are obviously well-heeled (ie rich). Perhaps the collection plate will be passed around twice.

Charlie (god's name is Art, "Our father who's Art in Heaven") Monoxide

 

[Suddenly]

No real doubts as to this being genuine. It came in the mail in an envelope, with a flyer stting the date of the mass as 9/25/03 at the "Co-Cathedral of the Sacred Heart of Jesus" in Charleston at 6PM. The "Red Mass" is in fact a legitimate tradition, it does usually mark the beginning of the fall term, and usually takes place about this time of year, with this type of notice. Unfortunately, it was not signed, as the item I cited is not in letter form, rather it seems to be an informational notice regarding the flyer accompanying it in the envelope.

The envelope has one of those "non-profit org." things instead of a stamp, and the body of the letter is quite sincere and quite informitive regarding the nature and history of the "Red Mass." If it were a hoax someone went real far to get there. These last 3 paragraphs are an attempt at "folksy" humor that went very, very, wrong.

 

[Filippo Lippi]

You should go...

in a surgical gown...

with your enema equipment at the ready...

I'll stop there

 

[ceo_esq]

What a horrible bit of promotional writing.

I get invited to Red Masses too, and have been on more than one occasion. They can be interesting. At the one in D.C., Supreme Court justices and Cabinet members show up, sometimes the President as well. It's sort of a big social ceremony for the local legal community.

 

[hgc]

...

Could they have found some thing less unpleasant than an enema to compare to a church service? Are they suggesting that mass is roughly as purposeful as giving an enema to a dead person? As pleasant?

...

Hey, speak for yourself. Many find an enema to be quite cathartic and delightful ... so I'm told.