• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Blond Jesus

The Atheist

The Grammar Tyrant
The Atheist
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
36,364
I love the blond Jesus.

There's just something so holy-looking about a handsome young man with wavy blond hair, blue eyes and a bathrobe.

God: made in the image of man since 10,000 BC.
 
Considering the Bible never mentions what Jesus actually looked like, how old is the earliest known depiction of Jesus in artwork?

How close do we get to the time he supposedly lived?

And at approximately when did artists decide they would go with the blond-haired, blue-eyed version?
 
It's all a cover up for the fact that he was a green-skinned, pink haired, quadropedal xenomorph from Pluto. The blond thing was a wig.
 
Robert Oz said:
Considering the Bible never mentions what Jesus actually looked like, how old is the earliest known depiction of Jesus in artwork?
Click to expand...

Yeah, funny how he's never described physically. Could that because none of the bible's writers ever actually saw him???

Wiki's pretty good for the history.

Robert Oz said:
And at approximately when did artists decide they would go with the blond-haired, blue-eyed version?
Click to expand...

I'm going to take a wild stab at that and say it was when lots of blue-eyed, blond-haired people started to get excited about this god fella.

Evolved Wookie said:
It's all a cover up for the fact that he was a green-skinned, pink haired, quadropedal xenomorph from Pluto. The blond thing was a wig.
Click to expand...

Nope, he was a vampire - we conclusively proved that a while back.
 
This is my favourite depiction of jesus:

Jesus.jpg
 
But vampires are famously incapable of crossing running water!

Perhaps he was some sort of zombie/vampire hybrid? Zompire of Vambie, you choose.
 
He also had rubber underwear in case he made daddy angry and shot a bolt of lightning down at the poor sod.
In Catholicism, the Madonna is also a blonde haired blue eyed caucasian.
 
The Atheist said:
Yeah, funny how he's never described physically. Could that because none of the bible's writers ever actually saw him???
Click to expand...
I'm not much of a Bible reader, but are there any characters at all in it who are described much in a physical sense? I assume there are, but I can't remember any (apart from Goliath, whose physicality was integral to that account).
Shouldn't be any great surprise that in religious texts the words and actions of people take precedent over appearance.
Nor am I aware of physical descriptions of the Buddha, Guru Nanak, Chaitanya, Zoroaster, Mohammed, Rumi, Lao-Tse.. and many others, though I'm probably just ignorant of what there is.
Just out of interest, Sri Ramakrishna had a vision of Jesus and he reported him as having rather a flat nose.. and IIRC said he was kind of short and stocky.
 
Last edited:
Buy this, and really screw up your children's idea of Jesus:

339.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom