Biblical Non-Sequiturs

[evildave]

In a recent post, someone quoted the Bible as "evidence" of what All Christians believe.

This is a bit like quoting the California Highway Code and insisting that all drivers on the planet live by it. Especially those in the UK, Australia, Japan, etc. who drive on the wrong side of the highway, and routinely pass on the right. It's obvious even a lot of people in California don't live by it... but they all drive cars, right?

Anyway, what's your favorite Biblical argument that doesn't apply to anything...

I mean more specifically than all of them?

 

[RonSceptic]

I always though that the 'Proof Denies Faith' line was a great advert for what's in store for anyone gilluble enough to follow the chrsitian religion.

Couldn't say of its from the Bible or not. I guess I'll find out soon.........

 

[BillyTK]

That Jesus gave his life so we may be saved from sin. Anyone remember that bit during crucifixion which seems to suggest that Jesus was a little bit less than happy about the whole idea?

Matthew 27: [46] And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying: Eli, Eli, lamma sabacthani? that is, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

 

[whitefork]

If the Bible is so clear as to be self-evidently true, or if faith is so simple and self-evident that it cannot be mistaken, the all Christians should believe exactly the same things.

Isn't that the point? One god, one Bible, one path to salvation, one true faith. Can every variety of the Christian religion be the true one?

 

[BillyTK]

If the Bible is so clear as to be self-evidently true, or if faith is so simple and self-evident that it cannot be mistaken, the all Christians should believe exactly the same things.

Isn't that the point? One god, one Bible, one path to salvation, one true faith. Can every variety of the Christian religion be the true one?

Isn't that exactly what they all claim to be?

 

[Tricky]

Luke 14:26 has always seemed a bit out of character to me. I've had Christians tell me that it is a parable or a metaphor or any number of bizarre explanations, but it seems pretty straightforward to me.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple."

I always thought that love was more typical of diciples. But what do I know?

 

[Ladewig]

Biblical non-sequiturs

I have to go with Exodus 4:24-26. God spends a whole chapter convincing Moses to go to Egypt and then God pops up on the road to Egypt and tries to kill Moses.

 

[neutrino_cannon]

The entire book of Leveticus is, as I understand from reading it, a bunch of random nonsense, and more likely than not the reason that the passenger pigeon, dodo and other noble columbiformes are no longer with us.

 

[kourama]

John 8:14 "Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true."

Gotcha!

John 5:31 "If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true."

Uh...right.

 

[evildave]

Yes, all good, but what of more quotes from people who are citing the bible as an authority on something, and the passage is about nothing of the sort.

 

[kourama]

Yes, all good, but what of more quotes from people who are citing the bible as an authority on something, and the passage is about nothing of the sort.

Hmm, that's tough.

I was once at a baptism ceremony and the priest was lecturing us about how the word "Devil" is from the Greek "Diavolos" which means "the divider". I suddenly recalled Luke 12:51, where god-boy tells us he's here to bring "division".

I kept my mouth shut.

 

[Tricky]

Yes, all good, but what of more quotes from people who are citing the bible as an authority on something, and the passage is about nothing of the sort.

As I recall one Christian on the boards tried to use this passage to "prove" that the Bible had predicted the Earth was spherical long before circumnavigation.

Isaiah 40:22
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

 

[evildave]

It further predicts that the stars are painted on a piece of fabric.

 

[kourama]

It further predicts that the stars are painted on a piece of fabric.

Oh, but THAT's not meant to be taken seriously. THAT's just a metphor.

pleeze.

Had an interesting discussion with a guy at lunch about what Jesus actually meant when he said that he is on earth to "bring division". I quoted as much as I could remember, but he still argued that it was out of context.

 

[Martin]

I always though that the 'Proof Denies Faith' line was a great advert for what's in store for anyone gilluble enough to follow the chrsitian religion.

Couldn't say of its from the Bible or not. I guess I'll find out soon.........

Isn't it from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

 

[stamenflicker]

It further predicts that the stars are painted on a piece of fabric.

Only an idiot could assume the author meant that literally. A confounded idiot. That's the problem with all you left brainers: you continually miss the forest for the trees.

Flick

 

[asherah]

As I recall one Christian on the boards tried to use this passage to "prove" that the Bible had predicted the Earth was spherical long before circumnavigation.

I had a Jehovah's witness use the same arguement with me to prove the devine inspiration of the Bible and it typical ( so I came to find out) Jehovah's Witness fashion, confirmed himself before I could repond. I was too slow to recall that Erastothenes had figured out the spherical nature of the earth in the 3rd century B.C. - which is about the time the Old Testament was canonized, I believe. Additionally, no one should have to point out that circle and sphere are quite different or that one might assume the earth a circle by simple obervation of the shape of sun and moon.

 

[evildave]

It further predicts that the stars are painted on a piece of fabric.

Only an idiot could assume the author meant that literally. A confounded idiot. That's the problem with all you left brainers: you continually miss the forest for the trees.

Flick

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,

Which side of the sphere is he "above"?

and its people are like grasshoppers.

Actually, like bacteria: invisible from any perspective above which the entire planet is invisible. Grasshoppers are quite large in comparison to bacteria. Perhaps the author believes the Earth is only a few miles across.

He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

Clearly believes the heavens are being manipulated by Him like a canopy.

All it properly "predicts" is how many ways people can stretch a colorful little bit of hyperbole to fit their machiavellian purposes of drawing some more sheep into their own little flocks to be sheared.